Sitting in the garden whilst dc in bed

[Wherearethestarsthen]

Do you do it?

Dd has just turned 6 and is going through some anxieties so one of us will lie with her until she falls asleep in our bed, then either fall asleep/go on phone etc or come downstairs to watch tv.
We both sat in the back garden this evening and kept the patio open, front patio locked, she is upstairs in main bedroom

Would you do this? Is it ok?

The anxious parents = anxious child comments are spot on.

As a teacher I see it all the time.

If I speak to a parent first, 9 times out of 10 I can tell you which of the kids will have anxiety.

Ah ok, I see. Thanks for clarifying. I still believe that a child is safer with their caregiver than being left in the car. I don't consider myself a "nutter" but who knows...

Unless your garden is multiple acres and you choose to sit at the furthest point from the house then of course this is fine. It's no different to being in the lounge watching TV. If your child calls for you or comes looking for you, you're within earshot etc.

For most people, the garden is essentially another room in your home. And just as you'd think nothing of settling down to watch TV while your child is in bed, or tidying the kitchen etc., sitting out in your garden is fine!

What do people actually think might happen to a child left in a car though? I've never got a straight answer to that....

OP, you need to stop taking what others say as gospel. Your child will be fine upstairs safe in her bed. She would be upset if she woke and you're not there, but that would happen if you're in her bed, downstairs, in the shower, outside, doing chores etc etc. youcannot prevent children being upset sometimes. 6 years old is a very big time in kids lives, with new hormones, new independence, there are often emotional outbursts. Not everything needs a diagnosis, not everything is anxiety or autism.

What do people actually think might happen to a child left in a car though? I've never got a straight answer to that....

friends car caught fire when he was parked outside my house and no-one was inside the car - it was a scary experience and I would think it would be more so if a child was unattended in the car

Never heard such over protective stuff before. A kid will wake up and come down they have to worry at times and all kids get anxious it's life. To grow up well balanced they need to work out problems for themselves .
Get an amazon camera for the room it will double up as security too then any movement and you can go and see them but relax , chill they are 6 years old .

Put a baby camera in the room for reassurance

I think it would be very extreme for you to not want to do that. Your garden is literally a part of your house.

And if they’re typical students, they will be going out and getting drunk, which increases the chances of vomiting!!

I despair at some of these threads.

And I’d be knocking the staying in bed with her until she falls asleep pronto. She’s six. She should have learned to self settle about five years ago.

@AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime Not everyone thinks the same as you! Did you let your kids cry it out and believe this was good for them too

How big is your garden?!!

Well yeah, you’re hardly the McCannes are you.

I clicked YABU by accident but I think it’s fine!

Cry it out at 6? Presumably you mean 6 years here - not 6 months. You're completely bonkers. Put your kid to bed in their own bed and go and sit in your garden! Christ alive.

Yes of course.

Absolutely ridiculous that you are entertaining this nonsense op. No wonder she's 6 and still can't sort herself out. You both are at home, right in the same property ??

I put the babies in bed and go out to the farm. It’s fine.

@BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 Read all comments…she said she should have learnt to self sooth 5 years ago, not everyone does this and especially not where I am

I let my kids cry it out - look about 3/5 minutes a sleep over the course of about a week when they were 4 months old and all 3 have slept beautifully ever since. They like going to bed. No being scared to go to bed alone at 6 years old. I don’t hear many people that did the same say their children have ongoing sleep issues.

You do what you like- but don’t be so judgemental. It’s you that’s anxious to go in the garden when you have a 6 year old that won’t self settle. Those that let them cry it out aren’t posting that type of thing.

Of course it’s fine. And surely you can see why your DD is anxious, if you genuinely are worried about sitting outside. A 6 YO should not need a parent to be with them to fall asleep.

Well most people have taught their children to go to sleep by 6, so...

@Flossyts Me don’t be judgemental?! 😂
Trying to defend myself, I don’t care if anyone else lets their child cry it out, each to their own, but don’t come at me if I didn’t

My Dd has issues recently with a boy at school and is being assessed for adhd & autism.
Not all children are the same, it’s not one size fits all.
I only asked about the garden situation to see if others did it, I didn’t expect nasty comments from people

Ok, thanks for the kindness everyone.
It’s like a pack of vipers just jumping on someone, why be like that, just relishing relying in nasty, judgemental ways.
It was just a question, instead it became an attack on me and my shit parenting ways and a display of how perfect everyone else is and how perfect their children are. I’m already aware I’m not doing a good job anymore, I was a good mum when she was younger, I felt sure of it, I didn’t doubt myself, I did everything I could, the best I could do, things have changed, nothing is easy with her, it’s all a huge struggle, so yep I messed up somewhere along the way

Ok, but now times that to 3 children. Unbuckling them all, taking across a forecourt in front/between cars into a store - only 2 hands but 3 kids….. Then supervising within said store. Nope, keeping them in the car will always be the safer ( and more relaxing) option.