Sitting in the garden whilst dc in bed

[Wherearethestarsthen]

Do you do it?

Dd has just turned 6 and is going through some anxieties so one of us will lie with her until she falls asleep in our bed, then either fall asleep/go on phone etc or come downstairs to watch tv.
We both sat in the back garden this evening and kept the patio open, front patio locked, she is upstairs in main bedroom

Would you do this? Is it ok?

You’re all nuts. They’re not that small. Do you also chew her food for her?

It is absolutely fine. You cannot lay in bed with them all the time, it’s draining. I’m a mother to a child with ADHD and I used to do this until I realised it’s too much.

@Loveydoveyduck How did you change it? (Dd undergoing assessments at the moment)

What...? Are you comparing sitting in the patio of your own home, while your dc sleeps in your own home, in her bed... to leaving a kid in a car, alone (it doesn't matter the amount of time) in a gas station? And saying it's the same? Am I getting it right?

Like you’re going to hear them choke from the kitchen…….

Infinitely more dangerous to remove a child and walk with them to pay for fuel than to leave them in the car where you can see them.

Yes of course. We have a 3.5 year old and a 18 month old and live in a bungalow. We make sure the front door is locked then go out and sit in the back garden. I usually take the baby monitor out with me purely cos the 18 month old can be unsettled sometimes and I wouldn’t hear him without it.

Then tell her where you’ll be when you put her to bed 🤷‍♀️

Steady on! Someone on here will try to report you to Social Services if you're not careful!

To Pastafortea
Always take the key with you

4/5 mums lay with their 6 year old until they sleep? That's absolute madness.
Put on a nightlight and music or audiobook and tell your 6 (6!) Year old goodnight and go and have a cuppa in the garden

I'm genuinely curious: why? I just don't understand what you're saying (it's not sarcasm, right?) (I'm also not being sarcastic, I have genuine interest in what you're saying, because I have the opposite opinion but I might be missing something here...)

That's insane.

This person is anxious to the degree of being unwell.

It does sound like you also have a bit of anxiety OP, so it might be worth chatting to your GP. Parenting is really hard, but sitting in the garden while your kids are in bed is not something you should be worrying about.

With our home layout, no, because we wouldn’t hear our child if she called out. That problem could be solved with technology though. Even putting a baby monitor outside the child’s door would probably be sufficient.

of course it’s a joke..

To be fair I was at higher risk of choking on my own vomit at uni than I was aged 6…

It isn’t normal or generally a good idea.

I think you need some new mum friends, yours sound very Highly Strung

Fair

Then why does it matter if you’re in the garden versus the living room?

Absolutely this!

I used to work on petrol forecourts, there was SO MUCH health and safety stuff, as forecourts are much more dangerous than most people realise. I mean, take your child in to pay with you or don't, I'm sure they'll be fine either way. But statistically they are safer in the car (unless you bugger off and leave them to go to the pub or something).

Could you do a thread in AMA about this approach?

Before the diagnosis I had to have Persistence. He used to act like he was the boss and I was the child.

Back up and down the stairs constantly. It’s draining but it pays off in the long run. Once my Ds was diagnosed he was given melatonin to help him sleep. But before that it was a constant battle, you just have to be Firm it’s no life lying with your little one until their asleep it’s going to eventually ruin your relationship with your dp. I know how frustrating it is and how badly you just want them to fall asleep but laying with them every night is NOT the answer, you’re setting yourself up for a very bad, long running circle.
be firm and and set some boundaries.

1. Put to bed. Kiss good night book ect “it’s bedtime now”
2. if they get out of bed, you put them back in bed and remind them it’s bedtime.
3. if they get out of bed again, you put them back in bed with a firm, I’ve told you it’s bed time.
4. If they get up again you put them back in bed and you don’t say nothing and you repeat this until they eventually get bored and fall to sleep.

Vomiting and choking in her sleep and you might not hear? Are you a vampire? How on earth do you manage on a daily basis?
I think her anxiety comes from you.

My DS was 7 when he wanted to slee in a tent in our back garden, (he was back in by 2am) and of course we let him, he's in a secure (inside locked garden due to dogs we have ) and an unlocked front door. Jeezo, just because you have kids doesn't mean you have to stop living life!!

Biggest one is traffic. Drivers are so busy focusing on other cars / where the next pump will be free, that they're not watching out for pedestrians. PLUS, you've got obscured vision from the pumps themselves, which compounds the problem.

You also have a lot of trip hazards - kerbs up to the shop, or around the pumps themselves. Manhole covers. Hoses.

Chemical hazards from the petrol itself, or oil which has leaked from a vehicle, or from the car wash. Slip hazards from water and detergent leaving the car wash.

Members of the public, noise pollution if a motorway is nearby, broken glass and other "sharps"...

You're definitely still fine taking your child across the forecourt. Most people go their whole lives without incident. But there do seem to be a lot of very safety conscious people who insist that leaving your child is the more dangerous option, which has always seemed odd to me.