FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

I think the OP has a fair point. "I don't drive" adult males with no obvious reasons why like injury, are much less common than "I don't drive" adult females. Saying that, I didn't pass my car test till I was 35 (but had had a bike licence for 10 years prior to that).

Well quite. But apparently THEY ARE ALL KINDS OF WRONG!!!!!

No your not ...op is a Grade A fuckwit.

I agree op but mn is odd about it. So many threads include “I don’t drive” when driving would have solved their issue. It’s massively limiting. I worked a Saturday job and weekends to pay for lessons and passed my test at 17.5. Dh had parents who weren’t supportive and are anxious drivers so he learned after we got engaged. It was a deal breaker for me that I wouldn’t be the family sole driver. Whatever anyone says, unless you can afford a chauffeur, it’s life limiting.

I’ve never wanted to drive as it’s just a chore, we have a car that my husband uses.

Me too!

I agree with you op , whats the point of have a car on the drive and not being able to use it ? The cost of running the car is already there , its only a matter of learning to drive it and then thats it for the rest of your life ……….like others have said its a life skill.

This is ridiculous - and I think you know that!

I fall into this category and the answers are simple - money, opportunity, geography, life events.

most people don’t choose not to possess such a useful and expected life skill. You should count yourself lucky if you do.

Some just can't afford it. I didn't learn until mid 30s because I couldn't afford 2hr lessons @ £30 per hour a week. I just didn't have £60 a week / £240pm to spare. So little old weedy me just saved until I could.
Then there's the cost of running a vehicle, not forgetting purchasing one.
So calm down

Not living in any way. I walk or catch a bus and use the car on the weekend for day trips with the whole family

OP you could have worded your post a lot better. But I do agree that there seems to be a general perception that men should drive and it doesn't matter so much for women. (not talking about on MN here!)

On my longish street (which has reasonable public transportation nearby) there is at least 1 car at every house. There are no houses where the men don't drive but there are a number where the women don't. In many of the houses where there are 2 cars, if the couple goes out together the man drives.

Obviously learning to drive isn't an opportunity everyone receives, but it does seem unbalanced as to gender and I do wonder why.

I know couples where it is only the woman who drives as the man has never learned, never had the money or just isn't confident enough to do it. Who cares?

I have to say I do notice a difference in my DS and his friends with parents who drive. DS is much more willing to walk longer distances and is far more confident with public transport than his peers. Some of the kids couldn't be arsed to walk more than half an hour and were always asking parents to take them.

My DS does plan on learning to drive though as he likes cars!

I don't drive, happy to let my twitchy DH do it all. It's so much less stressful. I do live in a city though.

Well said.

Oh dear God, why so angry? I don’t and can’t drive (visually impaired) and I was born and raised in London and growing up my household never had a car. I don’t get the ‘it’s a life skill’ and somehow you are not a grown up if you don’t drive. Even if I wasn’t visually impaired, driving just appears too stressful for me and I’m someone who falls asleep as soon as I am in motion.

I always find it a little perplexing when some people rather aggressively insist on giving me a lift. I can walk or take the bus I choose to live in a major city because of the excellent public transport. DD is also visually impaired but like the rest of her friends, she bikes everywhere (an advantage of living in a country with more bikes than people). I can’t tell you the amount of furniture I’ve brought home from IKEA on the bus because I’m too cheap to pay for delivery.

Why does it matter though?

You would probably include my mum in this.

She can drive - she passed her test over 40 years ago at age 18. There are 2 cars in their household - hers and my dad's (her's is 15 years old and in pristine condition 😂) But she doesn't drive. She is terrified behind the wheel. She's had more lessons, lots of practice, and her fear does get slightly better for a bit and then returns. To be honest, it's probably safest she's not driving around everywhere!

But she doesn't need to. My Dad and I give her lifts where she needs to go. Or she walks. We live in a town with terrible public transport but she lives near the city centre and within walking distance of her friends, the doctors, the hospital, shops, supermarkets, parks etc and if she wants to go further afield she walks to the train station.

If she wants to go to another part of the city, Dad or I will drive her (I'm female, and drive just as much as my husband).

Depends what you consider life limiting. It's not life limiting for me. There's nothing I want to do that involves being able to drive. My lifestyle and wants are probably different to yours.

Sexist much, I know at least 3 couples where it's the wives that drive and the men that don't for different reasons. It's none of your business why someone does or doesn't drive (I do btw)

De facto the thought of having to spend all my salary on a car and the gas and upkeep and not using it really because all my places in weekdays are 10 min away from or 5 min bus away fills me with discomfort and would make feel less independent. I close the front door, walk few min and am where I need to be. Not a big career here or anything. When need a London experience, just catch a train

Because I don’t want to learn 🤷‍♀️

In my cul de sac all the women drive except one woman who is very disabled. When we go out together DH drives as he gets violently sick if he is a passenger, my DD always drives as she also gets sick if she's a passenger. We don't always know everyones reasons but if it suits them I can't see the issue.

My exhusband never learned to drive so I always did the driving.

I drive. It cost me a fortune for lessons, theory and test. I had to sit my text twice (£120 a go for test & lesson before hand). My car is costing me a fortune and insurance, maintaining it, fuel and road tax are through the roof just now. My husband also drives. I had to learn because I have 2 children and live rural. I actually don’t mind giving people lifts within reason (hospital appointments, emergencies) so long as they don’t take advantage. I don’t think it’s that big a deal so long as they can get about day to day without being reliant on lifts all the time. It’s personal choice, confidence and financing it that’s the problem.

I can drive but I don’t like it. I don’t understand why you are so cross. I bet I can do things you can’t.