Page 28 | FFS why don't you drive ??

nextdoorconundrum · 2024-08-15T18:43:50+00:00

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does .. Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ? Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license.. There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:02

marmaladian · 16/08/2024 01:22

But again I ask, how so you get anywhere else? Or do you never leave London except by plane? What if one of your kids friends lived in a suburb that didn't have a convenient bus or train? Or a child who took up a competitive sport with stupidly early start times at a not convenient location? Do you never just go for a drive in the country for fun? Stop and pat a horse, pick up food from a farmers front gate? Smell the roses? Nothing?

Show quote history

There is public transport outside of London too!

I've been on holiday to Cornwall without a car, got there on the train. Visited St Ives, St Austell, Newquay and Lands End ALL by bus and train.

Obviously it's less "convenient" than driving I suppose but it really isn't impossible. I don't think I've ever been anywhere where there is zero public transport and I don't think I'd want to!

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:03

SweetTeaCup · 16/08/2024 01:10

My DC are eager to drive , also to be able to drive abroad too.
To never drive is to always rely on someone .
Even for an emergency, would you call a taxi / an ambulance unnecessarily etc.
Its just independence isnt it.
It’s a really important life skill.

If it is an emergency, an ambulance IS necessary!

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:04

Lampzade · 16/08/2024 02:40

Unless there are medical reasons or one is so anxious that you risk being a danger to others then I don’t understand why people don’t drive.
I learned how to drive when I was eighteen.
My mother was a single parent and couldn’t afford my lessons so I got a Saturday job
and paid for my own lessons.
My dds learned how to drive in their teens.
They paid half their driving lessons with money from their part time jobs
Both are at uni and drive themselves to their respective university towns.
I didn’t want them to be non drivers.
Even if one doesn’t need to drive, I honestly think that it is vital life skill

It isn't a vital life skill though because people manage to get through life without it.

DancelikeFredAstaire · 16/08/2024 07:05

DD (in her 30's), has anxiety and panic attacks, trust me you wouldn't want her behind the wheel of a car.

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:06

Cobblersorchard · 15/08/2024 23:42

Parents that don’t insist on driving as a life skill are irresponsible-if you can drive (eg no disability etc), you should learn.

It’s really lazy not to. Just like those that don’t learn to swim or cook either.

You might choose not to drive or swim frequently but you should be able to do it. I do a huge inward eye roll if I meet a non-driver (without any impediment). Not the sort of person I’d want to be friends with. It’s feeble I agree @nextdoorconundrum.

I don't care if you wouldn't want to be friends with me!

I've managed to raise a DS for 16 years without a car absolutely fine.

InkyPinkyPonky24 · 16/08/2024 07:07

ChefsKisser · 15/08/2024 21:49

I agree OP bar disabilities. I would never date someone who didn’t drive gives me the ick!

You could potentially be missing out on a fantastic relationship due to this stipulation. Driving is not what makes a person and it is entirely possible to have a happy marriage and relationship without either person driving.

moomoomeow · 16/08/2024 07:10

Some people like driving, some people have a licence but never want to drive, some are just not interested. All none of your business.

If anybody ever asks you for a lift, you can just say no🙂

NowImNotDoingIt · 16/08/2024 07:11

Lampzade · 16/08/2024 02:40

Unless there are medical reasons or one is so anxious that you risk being a danger to others then I don’t understand why people don’t drive.
I learned how to drive when I was eighteen.
My mother was a single parent and couldn’t afford my lessons so I got a Saturday job
and paid for my own lessons.
My dds learned how to drive in their teens.
They paid half their driving lessons with money from their part time jobs
Both are at uni and drive themselves to their respective university towns.
I didn’t want them to be non drivers.
Even if one doesn’t need to drive, I honestly think that it is vital life skill

It's not vital as plenty of people manage to live perfectly full lives without.

What will (any of )you do if you can't drive anymore? Just wither up and die?

iloveeverykindofcat · 16/08/2024 07:11

Because I have a visual processing disorder.

Kskinner648 · 16/08/2024 07:12

Some people just don't enjoy driving.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 16/08/2024 07:17

marmaladian · 16/08/2024 01:22

But again I ask, how so you get anywhere else? Or do you never leave London except by plane? What if one of your kids friends lived in a suburb that didn't have a convenient bus or train? Or a child who took up a competitive sport with stupidly early start times at a not convenient location? Do you never just go for a drive in the country for fun? Stop and pat a horse, pick up food from a farmers front gate? Smell the roses? Nothing?

Show quote history

I can and do drive. I like driving, like cars and am confident in my abilities. I'll drive any car anywhere. But sometimes I've got on the train to go places.

And that's because I've known that at the other end it's going to be a nightmare to park. Or a hideous driving experience. Or because I can work on the journey. Or because I know I'll be knackered after whatever it is and then I can just relax on the train home and not have to worry about staying alert.

More often than not I choose to drive because I like the independence of it. But it's not the only way to get anywhere.

Drive, don't drive. It's your own choice. And other people's reasons don't matter to you.

Tiredalwaystired · 16/08/2024 07:21

Growing up in London many of my friends didn’t bother to learn as teenagers as there was really no need - it was easy enough to be independent without. They then went to uni where no one could afford to run a car so they didn’t have a need there either.

So by the time they were 22 they just hadn’t got round to it and then life got in the way

You sound so unnecessarily angry about this OP. It’s such a non issue.

Gogogo12345 · 16/08/2024 07:22

NoWayRose · 15/08/2024 21:51

I can’t drive. Not driving is great for my health, the environment and my bank balance. I think of the thousands of times over the years I might have been tempted to hop in the car for a quick shop or school drop off, but instead I’ve marched off in my trainers - can guarantee I’d be less healthy. Not that I judge people who do drive - each to their own.

How do you manage when kids need dropping off at places etc? Like my DS ,often attended scout camp things There's no publice transport that I know of there and definitely not from my town. Same as the ATC events DD2 had most weekends.

DancelikeFredAstaire · 16/08/2024 07:23

If me and DP are travelling together by car I do all the driving as I'm the world's worst passenger. DP loathes driving and the only time he does do it is for his 30 minute round trip to work and back.

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:24

Gogogo12345 · 16/08/2024 07:22

How do you manage when kids need dropping off at places etc? Like my DS ,often attended scout camp things There's no publice transport that I know of there and definitely not from my town. Same as the ATC events DD2 had most weekends.

Show quote history

Public transport for me. My DS's hobby is a 10 minute walk down the road, he doesn't do it competitively so there's no other travel involved.

Gogogo12345 · 16/08/2024 07:31

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:24

Public transport for me. My DS's hobby is a 10 minute walk down the road, he doesn't do it competitively so there's no other travel involved.

Show quote history

So what if he chose a hobby that wasn't 10 mins away? He's restricted because you don't drive?

DilemmaDelilah · 16/08/2024 07:34

I can drive. Occasionally I do drive, but very rarely. My DH likes to drive and likes to do things for me, so he drives 99% of the time. Sometimes I would prefer to drive myself but it's quite a little thing to make him happy.

Calliopespa · 16/08/2024 07:40

NowImNotDoingIt · 16/08/2024 07:11

It's not vital as plenty of people manage to live perfectly full lives without.

What will (any of )you do if you can't drive anymore? Just wither up and die?

Show quote history

Well, I for one will be eye-rolling at their feebleness: no excuse allowed!

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 07:43

Gogogo12345 · 16/08/2024 07:31

So what if he chose a hobby that wasn't 10 mins away? He's restricted because you don't drive?

Show quote history

No, public transport is great where I live, I could get him anywhere on public transport.

Calliopespa · 16/08/2024 07:43

Gogogo12345 · 16/08/2024 07:31

So what if he chose a hobby that wasn't 10 mins away? He's restricted because you don't drive?

Show quote history

Ah… now we try the poor parent card.

Actually if they really can’t get there, what her Dc might learn is that we sometimes have to work within parameters and can’t always do exactly what we want, and to accept people regardless of whether they deliver on our every whim .., and not to judge as superficially as some of the posters on here.

InkyPinkyPonky24 · 16/08/2024 07:50

Cobblersorchard · 15/08/2024 23:42

Parents that don’t insist on driving as a life skill are irresponsible-if you can drive (eg no disability etc), you should learn.

It’s really lazy not to. Just like those that don’t learn to swim or cook either.

You might choose not to drive or swim frequently but you should be able to do it. I do a huge inward eye roll if I meet a non-driver (without any impediment). Not the sort of person I’d want to be friends with. It’s feeble I agree @nextdoorconundrum.

How is not learning to drive irresponsible? Some of us just don't want to, it holds zero interest or desirability. Just like not everyone wants to fly a plane or a sail a boat. We are all different.

I can't swim either 🤷🏻‍♀️. I'm not going to do into why that is but it is related to trauma. Perhaps not be so judgemental about a person hey?

That's ok if you wouldn't want to be friends with an 'irresponsible' non driver, because I can guarantee they wouldn't want to associate with you either due to your poor attitude.

Tooting33 · 16/08/2024 07:51

nextdoorconundrum · 15/08/2024 19:55

It seems I have been unclear.. m

This question is directed at people who HAVE A CAR IN THE HOUSEHOLD.

I know a gay man who can drive but doesn't because he doesn't like it. His partner drives instead. Is he also weedy?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 16/08/2024 07:52

Tooting33 · 16/08/2024 07:51

I know a gay man who can drive but doesn't because he doesn't like it. His partner drives instead. Is he also weedy?

Show quote history

Apparently so.

Because there's a car in the household and, shock, horror, he doesn't drive it.

There's a lawnmower in my household but I don't use it. Same principle?

burnhambreeches · 16/08/2024 07:57

Independence was most important for me. I wanted to be out and about. Buses at a young age. Far younger than is acceptable on MN now. Bicycle as a 14 yr old, then at 16 a motor scooter. Learning to drive a car was easier because I had already developed road sense and self preservation instincts.
When we lived in London I really appreciated the public transport and used it to get to know places. Often the car did not move for over a week.
Now we are rural again, a few buses to nearby city but difficult to go to another village. Injury to spine precludes bike now.

Beezknees · 16/08/2024 08:00

Calliopespa · 16/08/2024 07:43

Ah… now we try the poor parent card.

Actually if they really can’t get there, what her Dc might learn is that we sometimes have to work within parameters and can’t always do exactly what we want, and to accept people regardless of whether they deliver on our every whim .., and not to judge as superficially as some of the posters on here.

Show quote history

Many children are restricted to what hobbies they can do for financial reasons as well, I guess those parents are also terrible!