FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Well either OP is pregnant or is pissed off that she's driving everyone everywhere.

Really not sure why you are so focussed on instances where the woman doesn’t drive but the man does. My husband didn’t learn until he was in his early 30s, whereas I passed my test at 18 (we got together when we were in our early 20s). Are you berating him for not learning earlier, or is it good that he let me, the woman, do all the driving for many years?

I actually know several couples where the man doesn’t drive but the woman does. Perhaps you think it’s more often the woman that doesn’t drive because the majority of users of this forum are women, so it’s their point of view you hear most often? You even say you don’t know anyone in real life where one half of the couple doesn’t drive, so your experience seems purely based on social media forums. What a bizarre thread!

But again I ask, how so you get anywhere else? Or do you never leave London except by plane? What if one of your kids friends lived in a suburb that didn't have a convenient bus or train? Or a child who took up a competitive sport with stupidly early start times at a not convenient location? Do you never just go for a drive in the country for fun? Stop and pat a horse, pick up food from a farmers front gate? Smell the roses? Nothing?

My DP drives and he has a car.

I don't drive. There are several reasons why not; my eyesight is not good, I find it hard to focus on boring things (and I found driving very boring when I took lessons) so I would be easily distracted & basically I would not be a safe driver to have on the roads.

I've had several judgemental people like you ask me "Why do you MAKE your DP do all the driving?" and I find that so fucking patronising. I don't MAKE him do anything.

And you're unecessarily angry, rude & judgemental about something that is no business of yours.

Oh and my Mum drives and has a car. My Dad doesn't drive and never has.

I didn't learn till later in life as I was concerned about the pollution.
I only learned as I live rurally. Don't love it.

Are you one of those BMW drivers who overtakes me at 70mph when I'm going at maximum speed limit on a 39mph zone?

Well, if it's an emergency, of course id phone an ambulance, and if that's the case, it wouldn't be unnecessary, would it?

And yes, if I needed a taxi, I'd call a taxi. Also not 'unnecessary'.

Certainly not as unnecessary as people who live in a town driving absolutely everywhere, regardless of 'necessity' because god forbid you walk ten minutes to the shop when you could drive there instead.

Yes because you can fall into water but you don’t often fall into the drivers seat of a moving car that requires operating. 🙄

I reckon it’s because we women all ride horses side saddle. It gets hard to reach the brake pedal when this feminine technique is deployed in a car and the gearstick ends up in a very compromising position.

We take trains outside of London on holidays and day trips. We are near the Eurostar terminal so we have travelled all over Europe very easily. We go on holiday to Cornwall, Wales and Scotland and do country walks by train. We travel to other continents by plane - very easy connections to all the London airports and we always take public transport to the airport.

DCs aren't old enough for competitive sports yet, but there are plenty of training opportunities within walking distance. All of her friends live in London zone 1 or 2 on an easy public transport route from her school (and therefore to our house, as we're a 5 min walk) - no one drives their dcs to school, as traffic and parking would be hellish.

yesterday a friend was side swiped by an articulated lorry and ended up facing the opposite direction to the traffic in the middle lane of a motorway. But for the quick reactions of everyone around them, the result would have been much worse than just a written off car and no small degree of shock.

I can drive, but I dislike driving, especially on the motorway. Whenever people question why, I think of incidents like my friend’s and wonder why more people aren’t anxious about it! On the other hand, DH enjoys driving and would be a fucking irritating backseat driver if I did the longer journeys, so it’s easier to leave those to him.

My parents died in a car accident when I was 9... and I live in London. Hope that fucking helps.

Unless there are medical reasons or one is so anxious that you risk being a danger to others then I don’t understand why people don’t drive.
I learned how to drive when I was eighteen.
My mother was a single parent and couldn’t afford my lessons so I got a Saturday job
and paid for my own lessons.
My dds learned how to drive in their teens.
They paid half their driving lessons with money from their part time jobs
Both are at uni and drive themselves to their respective university towns.
I didn’t want them to be non drivers.
Even if one doesn’t need to drive, I honestly think that it is vital life skill

Good to know I'm also one of the "weedy" ones :')

Not that you seem to actually want genuine answers OP, but for what it's worth I am INCREDIBLY clumsy and would hate to put the lives of myself, my loved ones or even just those around me in danger.

I can't even go about my daily life without dropping things, I'd hate to think what I'd be like behind the wheel of a car. I'm very satisfied with walking, or cycling, or public transport tyvm.

The above, with a healthy dose of fuck the fuel prices, the insurance, the MOT, the road tax, the price of the sodding car itself, and the stress of other drivers.
Just isn't for me personally.

Not sure why you're so angry about it OP.

As long as you're a confident public transport user I don't see the issue.

But when women cite it as a reason it's difficult to leave their heinous dp, because they are reliant on them to get to work or kids school. They are putting themselves in a difficult situation.

A friend of mine doesn't drive, her partner has to take her everywhere. She also assumes she will be picked up when meeting, even if it's not on route.

You can't really judge without knowing the circumstances. I know somebody who doesn't drive but she was injured in a motorbike crash as a young woman. She made a good recovery but her reduced field of vision means she could no longer legally drive. She was incredibly disappointed about it and found it hard to accept.

This isn't a gender thing. My BIL doesn't drive, no interest to and my sister has ferried him and the children around for the past fifteen years. He's not anxious, he's just not arsed.

Best friends partner didn't drive, she did all the driving for years. She got really ill and still had to drive the family everywhere even though her illness interfered with it sometimes. He eventually learnt last year after saying he never would due to severe anxiety.

I don't drive, never been interested to learn as I have ADHD and my attention span is pretty atrocious and I've always felt I'd be dangerous on the roads. Since having children I've changed my mind. I'm going to try lessons even though I'm seriously lacking in confidence. My DH has only just learnt. We live in the city with good transport so pre kids it wasn't a necessity.

I drive and must admit that I have a couple on none driving friends who constantly ask for lifts. I've been to festivals and they're asking to be picked up from x,y,z train station or asking me to nip to shops. Grinds my gears but I'm not annoyed with non drivers as such.

Well, you did when I passed but it was a while ago.

So can I, without being a sexist twat

I don’t know many ladies that don’t drive and relays on a male partner to drive them places.

except my colleague but I’m not sure what the dynamics are all about… she works and he doesn’t and looks after their child.

I drive. Dh does not.

His teenage years were incredibly difficult, and learning to drive slipped so far down the priority list, especially as he was able to easily get in to work on public transport and didn't have the money spare.

Honestly, as he grew older he also knew he just didn't have the disposition to be a good driver. He can be jumpy and nervous in and around cars due to a childhood accident. I think that shows a level of self realisation some people (some drivers) don't have.

Perhaps the women you know that can't drive have similar reasons? Their sex has very little to do with it.

I get you OP .Ive had a couple of friends who "dont drive" ,or feel"unable to" My DH usually drives on days out ,holidays and so on.However I am desperate not to lose my skills.A day on the bus usually sharpens them nicely though!

And yet here many of us are, managing to negotiate life without being able to drive.

You're not the sort of person I'd want to be friends with either, and I do a huge inward eye roll if I meet someone who passes judgement on others who don't happen to want to do something they don't need to do.

Being a nice person is actually a far more important lifeskill, and you don't seem to be anywhere near mastering that.