FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

How is it a life skill? It's a life choice?

If people are choosing between eating and paying rent do you really think driving lessons is even a consideration?

How many languages do you speak?
How many times have you moved countries?

I don't live in London or Manchester. I live in a small village just outside a seaside town in Wales. I have a full licence but sold my car several years ago and didn't look back. I can sit back and spectate at the parking wars that go on, smug in the knowledge that my bicycle is tucked up safely under cover and I'm saving thousands of pounds per year.

Driving is not important to me. And I'm not even a woman.

And no, I've not got someone ferrying me around or fetching my shopping. I'm perfectly independent, thanks.

Because I don’t want to. I took my lessons at 17. Never bothered with a test.

Absolutely no desire to. I live in deepest Norfolk and walk and cycle a lot.

We have a car, which my DH drove until he got ill.

I may be ‘weedy’ but I have calves of steel.

I'm angry because I think women are persuaded that driving isn't important

What on earth are you talking about?

Seriously, women are not in any way persuaded that driving isn’t important.

This is such a weird thing to obsess over. Loads of people, men and women, don’t drive. And they’re totally fine.

We have a car - I don’t drive - I tried learning but failed to master the gears and the instructor kindly suggested I try automatic! I then lost all confidence and gave up! Too nervous to drive - roads are so much busier now than they were 30 years ago!

Because they don't want to,
My partner drives. I live in a small village with one bus per hour, which stops at 6 o'clock. I still choose not to drive. Personal choice.

I kind of agree OP. I know many very succesful professional women in their 40's/50's who can't drive.
Perplexed , I have asked how do they get the kids to weekend sport if it's a far away game, how do they go for a holiday in the countryside ( surely people don't get a bus or train dragging along the kids and all their crap and the suitcases).
It always turns out they do own a car but have never got their licence and their DH drives.
I find it odd as I love the freedom to jump in the car and go.
What if you forget to buy milk and don't have a handy corner store?
It's unfathomable to me as everyone in my family starting with my mum have always driven as soon as legally allowed. ( Not in Uk - but still how are all the non-drivers getting to all those holiday park places that seem so popular there?)

Driving lessons appear to be over -priced the world over, but I only paid for a few for my kids , then asked for them for birthday/xmas presents from family and did the rest of the 100 and bloody 20 required learning hours myself. 3 times!! ( I've blocked out the memories 😅)
I understand about living in a big city and not needing one everyday, and the rise in popularity of car-sharing companies, but if you don't have a licence you can't use those anyway.

Meh. When my son's 17, we'll still be living in central Manchester, with lots of public transport available. If he chooses to learn to drive, fine, but I can't say I'll be funding it or worrying if he chooses not to.

He's 9, he can work a washing machine, put his own stuff away properly, do the washing up, cook (as far as appropriate) and interact appropriately with people of all ages. Skills which many men appear to be severely lacking, and much more important 'life skills' than driving in my life.

OP your last post actually sums up how ignorant you are !! People in the last arse of nowhere are not not necessarily able to pay for driving lessons,buy a car and insure…it is actually very expensive!! Nothing about being female 🤦‍♀️

Exactly..great post !

It's not an essential life skill per se, but it does sometimes make life slightly more difficult in certain ways/situations if you don't drive. I am sure many people can and do manage to live life perfectly OK with not driving. Personally I'd be a bit too restricted with my children but they would probably learn to manage ok if they had to 😆😅

You laugh but that's exactly how we holidayed when I was a kid. On the train, to the seaside every year. I LOVED train travelling.

My parents didn't get a car until I was 24 and living in another country. Dad got his license then, at 50 something. Had the car for about 5 years(he passed away) with 20k miles on it so didn't use it that much anyway.

No one in our household drives - DH, me or DS. Such are the joys of living in zone 1 London and being 5 mins walk from the tube and having 18 bus routes and 4 rail stations within walking distance, and having the perk of free travel passes too. Anyone would be daft to drive under our circumstances.

Fluently? Two.
Countries - 3 if you count England and Wales as 2

Your point is?

Since becoming disabled and losing my confidence to drive, even with the adaptations my car has. Is that a good enough reason for you?

I can think of much more important things to be so angry about.

Yes this.
I find that in our circle of friends the drivers are always picking up the non drivers .
Also nights out are always further towards the non drivers , so they can get lifts.
It is never ever mentioned but yes I do think about it.

But how do you see the country ?How can you fully explore ?
How do you go on UK holidays to far flung locations , beautiful unspoiled coasts ? Bays ? Beaches ?
Train lines only go so far
I think by not driving it really limits your exploration.
You only mention Zone 1 London ,
that’s really built up and not a good example of Great Britain
I’m saving already for my DC driving lessons
It’s a ticket to freedom …

I don’t drive. You can take all your anger out on me I don’t mind

None of your fucking business.

And what if your DC decide they don't want to learn to drive?

Some people are interested in unspoiled coasts (very few exist, in all honesty), plenty of people are perfectly happy with a bit of seaside accessible by train. And I've explored much more of the UK than many drivers I know, because I don't have to fret about motorways, ring roads, unfamiliar bus lanes, parking etc etc.

My DC are eager to drive , also to be able to drive abroad too.
To never drive is to always rely on someone .
Even for an emergency, would you call a taxi / an ambulance unnecessarily etc.
Its just independence isnt it.
It’s a really important life skill.

Ah - so you're pissed off that you can drive and other people can't

What does it matter to you? I cannot for the life of me understand why you are getting so angry about something that doesn't really affect you.

OP, I think a lot of people have given you an answer, namely anxiety (doesn't have to be medical diagnosis) and lack of confidence. Do you want a load of anxious drivers on the road? And it may be even more costly to take enough lessons to pass the test.

If driving was that easy and cheap then everyone would do it. As it is some people don't have a knack for it. Why are you so unsympathetic?