FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Me too of course but I find it a bit sad when women (money not withstanding) choose not to do something that is so useful. Obviously no one HAS to drive but to be able to, can be life changing.

I don't care if she's on the road or not.
I think she's thick and pathetic.

Well they’re definitely not perfect. They have a horrible attitude.

When I was with ex-H he usually drove because he was a much more experienced and good driver (I got my licence aged 37), and it was just understood that he would drive (unless in an emergency like he was really sick or something). I think it's easy to fall into these patterns. Now I'm divorced and i have to drive, I do it, but I'm still pretty nervous. I would like to see more women getting confidence with driving, but I wouldn't condemn those who don't, just wish they would be able to feel more happy and confident driving.

Yes!!! Every fucking time. I completely agree about the passivity, too. I have no idea why people are so content to be buffeted through life by the winds of fate.* Take some control back!

*Ok, I'm maybe a little over invested in this 😂

Yes I thought “wow” too! So much venom.

My grandmother never drove as she didn’t feel In control. She was very good with fine motor skills but didn’t feel comfortable manoeuvring a car. It’s really immature to suggest people who don’t feel comfortable in control of a car should do it anyway just to pacify irritable busybodies. I don’t believe in people being pressured into things

This thread has made me even more determined not to drive the faux 'why won't you think of the women I need to speak for them because I like patronising people'

My partner drives. I don't.

I have no Interest in driving and I don't actually need it.

He loves driving and will drive us anywhere and everywhere when we're not at work.
I use public transport the rest of the time.

its me too. I don't see what business it is of anyone else's. OTOH I am totally happy bumbling along narrow country lanes in the pitch dark which where I live is a much more useful skill.

I think that rather than be angry and blame women, it would have been more helpful to say that it's a shame that women still sometimes miss out on opportunities due to either not driving or being less a less experienced driver.

There are plenty of reasons why this could be so. I do drive but am not a confident driver. My reasons are a combination not having received a diagnosis for almost certain sen issues ( ASD, adhd) and consequent loss of confidence throughout life, having children and working much nearer to home, being younger than my husband and therefore having someone with 10 years experience driving when I learnt at 21.
All these factors are proportionally more likely to happen to women so it's no wonder that some women, with the emphasis on some, even if they do drive, leave long distance and more complex journeys to men and others find they don't get around to learning at all.

I got old enough to learn,but my parents made it clear they where not paying for me to learn (which would be fair enough,but not only did they pay for my brothers lessons and tests,but bought them all cars once they'd passed-'girls shouldnt drive' according to my driver mother)

I was working my arse off in low paid jobs and only earning enough to pay for luxuries like food/San pro/rent/clothes

I became a single parent and had even less money and walked everywhere

I guess im now in a position to learn-but I'm too scared to learn (lack of confidence) and there's no way could I afford to buy a car or run one

Plus,where I live,there are good transport links or I can walk if dp can't pick me up (hes a driver) so I don't really want to learn

so can being an excellent cook, doing your own DIY....loads of stuff so why focus on driving?

Can be but not necessarily will be.

I don't get why you'd feel for sad for someone if they're perfectly happy with their situation.

As a non driver I can't think of a single way that driving would improve my life.

I can't really live very rurally of course, but I don't want to live rurally and wouldn't do so even if I could drive.

It's sad if somebody really wants to be able to drive and can't for whatever reason of course.

eyeroll

I am in remission from a disability that disqualified me from driving for about four years altogether and additionally used to live in a city with excellent public transport so I didn't need to drive.

THESE PRACTICALITIES APART, when I did attempt to learn to drive I was appallingly bad at it and would have been a menace on the roads. In any case I'm single and don't rely on someone else to drive me.

YOU are extremely rude and judgmental.

I'm shit at driving.

Some people are and will just never pass a driving test. I've failed many. Started learning 20 years ago, have tried many years on and off and still can't do it.

It annoys me that people look down on me because of it.

But thanks for your support.

Edited to say, my partner doesn't drive either and we're a car-free household. Rarely need to get a car anywhere and when we do we just get an Uber.

I have never before considered this to be a female problem. Most of the people I know who can't drive are men. The car in our house belongs to me (female) my partner (male) can't drive. If there's an appointment or something he couldn't get to he'd take a cab. I'd rather he learnt to drive but its not that big of a deal, is there a specific person in your life that's pissing you off with their inability to drive?

Because the OP was writing about driving not DIY

So you just don't like your neighbour then, even if she knew how to drive you wouldn't like her.

My grandma "borrowed" the doctor's motorcycle aged 10 in 1920 to have a go. She was a dreadful driver until she died in 1995, but she went everywhere she wanted when she needed to get there without killing anyone in 75 years.

I don't drive. I couldn't afford a car, tax or insurance so I guess that makes me 'weedy'.

I don't live in a city and I can't use public transport because I have social anxiety. So I presume that makes me double weedy.

I rely on my husband to drive so I obviously have the triple whammy of weediness.

But I don't understand why it should bother someone else so much when it doesn't bother me in the least.

I agree OP bar disabilities. I would never date someone who didn’t drive gives me the ick!

I live in regional Australia with poor public transport and the only woman I know who doesn’t drive has epilepsy. It is unheard of for anyone to not drive.

My friend lives in inner city Sydney and says it is common for women not to drive.

Needs must, I suppose.

I can’t drive. Not driving is great for my health, the environment and my bank balance. I think of the thousands of times over the years I might have been tempted to hop in the car for a quick shop or school drop off, but instead I’ve marched off in my trainers - can guarantee I’d be less healthy. Not that I judge people who do drive - each to their own.

Yes, I'm like you. I was in three as a child, (one where our car rolled over; no one hurt), I'm also dyslexic. Sometimes I read the lights wrong; I see red as 'go' because it's a dynamic colour, and green as 'stop' because it's a restful colour. Messages may go wrong from my brain to my body; I'd want to brake but I could press on the accelerator just as easily. I was diagnosed as dyslexic in the noughties but have always known that there was something strange about how I processed information, so when I tried to learn in the eighties, it terrified me, the thought of the potential havoc I could cause. I'd love to be able to get in a car and drive off.

Op would have loved my parents - neither drive, and we had a large family! We went everywhere by bus, walked, cycled to work etc. Holidays would involve a taxi to the station and then train. We would each have a rucksack or case full of clothes.