FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Same here. I dated someone where the convo we had about it went like this:

”well I learnt to drive at 17 like a normal person”
”oh right, did your parents pay for your lessons”
“yeah”
”did they buy you a car when you passed?”
”….they did yeah”
”and the insurance too?”
”…yeah”

Completely bloody oblivious to the privilege

I'm a shit driver, is that ok with you OP? Am I exempt from your high expectations?

I'm actually shit in any situation where I have to manage "obstacles" at speed, particularly when in charge of a vehicle: skying, cycling, sailing,...

I don’t understand people who don’t/can’t drive. I learned as soon as I could possibly afford it (worked two jobs to pay for it). Catching the bus in the cold and dark is not for me.

I don’t drive with my husband in the car because he insists on telling me how to do it which means I’m NEVER designated driver.

I also don’t understand people who won’t/cant drive on motorways.

A friend with strong opinions suggested that the minimum threshold for being a competent parent involved getting your children able to read and write fluently, and to swim and drive before they left school.

I agree about the rural area thing. Although as I posted in my earlier reply, my aunt is coming over to visit at the weekend, but her DS is driving as she would totally refuse to do.the motorway driving. Plus, one time that her DH couldn't drive because of an injury, she said she'd rather walk a long way with loads of heavy shopping bags and not drive. I get it that she worried about motorway driving, but to purposely restrict local areas and then make a harder journey on foot doesn't make sense to me. 😳🤔

My dh and I both drive. However, if we’re together, he always drive. Why? Because I don’t really enjoy driving, and he’s the better driver.

Nothing do with patriarchy , but feminism is at play here. I have the choice whether to drive, and opt not to , rather than man -takes-charge scenario.

Hey I'm weedy!

Never mind my sight problems, I'm weedy for not driving.

I don't trust my eyesight, opticians have confirmed I am unsafe to drive as I have intermittent tunnel vision but what do they know?

I prefer to keep other road users safe by not getting behind the wheel. Is that ok, @nextdoorconundrum?

Much for the same reason I'm not a brain surgeon! When I read about people passing after 20 failures I pity drivers in their area, I wouldn't want anyone operating on me who had needed 20 goes at passing their exams!

Drive before they leave school? How would you manage that then since they leave school at 16 and can't drive until 17? In the UK anyway.

This sums up my point exactly.

Live in a well connected city ?
Then no issue. You don't need it.

Don't have a car in your household ?
Then almost certainly, not financially viable .. no issue . Completely understandable.

Live in a rural area and/or village/town with crap transport AND your DP/DH has a car .. then why not ?

And what if they do say that? How does it affect you? I don't particularly like driving, DH is happy to drive so I let him. It's not hurting anyone 🙄

I’m mid forties, I didn’t pass my test until I was 26 and that was only because my partner helped to pay for lessons.
My mother didn’t drive, when I was 17 I was handed a card with money for “ driving lessons” but the amount would only of covered the cost of the provisional and a couple of lessons so it was spent on clothes.
I moved out soon after that so all my money was going on rent and bills.
I recently started a new job and out of the 6 18-22 year olds that started with me 3 of them (all boys)don’t drive, All gave the same reason that it was too expensive to learn, the ones that can drive the cost of the lessons were mostly covered by their parents.

Such simple things to understand why are you not able to?

What do you not understand about it? Why is it so difficult to grasp?

I live in London so no need.
If I lived somewhere more rural then I would learn but only for my own benefit. Not to please small minded people like you OP.

Why is this your business why are you so angry about it?

“I also don’t understand people who won’t/cant drive on motorways.”.

Thats me! Don’t enjoy driving at speed,

I do understand what you mean, I think! I drive and have a car as does DH. Obviously lucky we can afford to run them both. For me it's essential - I cannot imagine having to rely on DH to ferry me around. I would hate it!

My sister doesn't drive. She can but chooses not to. Her DH has a car and he drives her around or she gets the bus/trains etc. I think she's nuts especially as they could easily afford another car. There are so many things she can't do as she doesn't have her own car. But she was never a confident driver and now just says she doesn't drive.

I also have female friends who won't drive on the motorway. They feel too anxious and worried. Again, I can't really understand this, as the alternative; using public transport all the time, not going to certain paces that can only be accessed by a car etc etc. But for some reason females do often (from my experience of these friends and my sister) do suffer with driving anxiety. I have never met a man who is like this though. It's a conundrum?!!

Jesus I was the designated for years (at my own fucking gigs a lot of time too) up & down the country & it gets tedious but it is down to personal choice & it has gotten so expensive, over here I think it''s something like mandatory 12 lessoons plus the theory test & the actual test so I feel sorry for young people nowadays having that to contend with

I thought most mumsnetters were intelligent but people on this thread not being able to understand this basic thing - that everyone is different! Is astounding. It's either ignorance or genuine stupidity!

I'd rather drive on a motorway than on a country road. At least there's no blind bends on a motorway!

I couldn't get insurance for my kids on either of my cars. My eldest bought his own car for 10k and paid £6000 for his first year insurance so not cheap. He left it until he left uni too as there was no point in driving before that.

Oh ok.
I am in the range you mentioned but don't think I would be able to afford actual driver unless I am lile 250k.
Uber is the way. And public transport ♡

I don’t drive with my husband in the car because he insists on telling me how to do it which means I’m NEVER designated driver.

Put up or shut up, that's my response to backseat drivers though my late OH couldn't really criticise my driving as he taught me, no proper lessons, no huge fees either and passed first time.

Same here .
I am not 'from money' . Dad died when I was 13 and mum was in the social until all were at school. Driving at 17 was prioritised above holidays or any other luxury.