to exclude my friend from a holiday because she's got a boy?

[brownmouse]

regular here blah blah (we need an acronym for this )

I have a small group of 4 friends, we all have 1 child of the same age (5)

One of us has a boy

I am arranging a summer break for us all but the three of us with girls really don't want the other person coming along. The girls play nicely together while we sit around talking. The boy is loud and whacks the girls and is constantly full of energy, and is constantly knocking into us, interupting our conversation.

We'd like a summer BREAK where we sit around while the girls play. If we invite the mum-of-boy it won't be a break, it will be noisy and stressful.

Should we arrange it and exclude her, or just invite her and accept that it will just be a child-focussed holiday?

for once I actually feel a thread should be deleted.

some of the name-calling on here is about as vile as it gets.

Maidamess, how idealistic and selfish. Do you really think these issues are always about what you perceive to be "bad parenting"?

How easy it is to divide those on this thread into categories.. those who never stop to think "there but for the grace of God..." and the majority (of more "evolved" folk?) who do!

Crikey. I can't believe you would think of excluding her. I have a group of 4 close friends and one of them has a VERY boisterous son. There is no way I would exclude her from a holiday or get together. How mean to think of leaving her out. It really is the school playground all over again.

Can you not get a summer break away without the children? A weekend with the girls

Which name-calling, specifically? The word "selfish"? Or "thoughtless" perhaps???!

Difficult one. I used to holiday with my nephew but we dont anymore. Mutual unspoken agreement between my sister and me as he made my dd's life hell.
It does seem like you stand a chance of losing the friendship but a girlie trip away sounds great fun.

AH - I see it.. the word "bitches"! Well a bit strong I'll admit.

'It really is the school playground all over again. '

You can say that again! Launching personal attacks involving obsceneties at total strangers online because you don't agree with them, not READING posts where teh OP apologised again and again for a poorly-worded OP, turning the thread into a girl-bashing thread.

This place has gone so DM it's really stunning.

People are so angry these days. It's shocking.

I'm leaning towards a break from this place until all the cretins go back under their rocks for the winter.

Oh, god, just read some of the other posts . Clearly some very nasty people around at the moment.

Bitches is a bit strong I agree, but it does feel a bit mean to the other friend.

expat - I know the policy well.. after 4 years on MN I am familiar!

However, I have not made any insults. I said her and her friends were bitches, which they are. They are bitching about the other mother and the boy.

The definiting of 'bitching' is : complaining, griping.

I did not use obscenities, I would not class 'bitching' as an obscenity, and I was not making a personal attack, I was stating my opinion based on all the posts brown mouse has made.

FWIW - its not all about the OP. I think the general tone of brownmouses posts on this thread smack of 'bitchiness' between the other mothers.

it's against the policy here to use words like this.

i've had posts deleted for such on here, quite rightly.

it's not on no matter how drunk, ill, etc. you are.

You didn't say they were bitching, DSM, you said they were complete bitches.

you are not being unreasonable to not invite them because of how the child behaves, but you are being unreasonable to assume this behaviour is just because he is a boy. not all girls are sugar and spice you know. in fact whilst boys are stereotypically more work in the pre-school years, girls are much much more work in the teenager years.

how would you feel if in 10 years time your friend was saying am i unreasonable to not invite my friend cos she has a girl who screams and rants and argues all the time and is a complete awkward bitch to everyone?

Thank goodness that I am not the only one to see that this kind of behaviour is not necessary. What gives any of you the right to launch into these attacks on Brownmouse?

to misquote a rather old book 'Let (s)he who is without sin cast the first stone'

'Bitches' is a group of people bitching.

I did not use it as a slang obscenity, which is how it appears you have taken it. I wasn't using it as a term of offence without actual meaning. I meant it in the actual sense of the word.

Who is drunk and/or ill?

No, bitches is plural for a bitch.

And I'm not the only one who read it as such.

This is really getting out of hand

Just joined this mumsnet and I cant believe the way this thread is going

btw nothing wrong with being loud and energetic. obviously whacking the girls isn't nice and at 5 should perhaps no better? however i don't have a 5 year old so i don't know if this is the case or not.

Why not go somewhere in this country, suitable for everyone?

Somewhere like Butlins - the little lad can have all day to run around/swim/hassle redcoats/play in the free fair/whatever whilst the girls do whatever they want (run around/swim/hassle redcoats/play in the free fair/whatever.... you get my point)?

Why does it have to be abroad?

Why not make it easier for you all and do something like this (which also gives the option to come home early with no hassle)

I think this way, there's entertainment suitable for everyone and you all get a break.

Bloody hell, I am glad you are not my "friend". Who needs enemies, and bladi blah.

Maybe the children would behave better and not wreck up such havock if they were proper supervised rather than left to their own devices?