Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Not the maid or a slave 😂 since when has ironing someone’s shirt turned someone into either of these … I feel so sorry for men these days, what happened to loving caring thoughtful relationships, it’s all that’s not my job, I’m not doing this or that.
If the OP was working I would agree to share the load but she’s not she’s at home all day every day.

It’s irrelevant.

“I don’t want to take the bins out?”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes, I still don’t want to take the sodding bins out though!”

Absolutely not.

If you're home to look after the kids, that's the main focus, and then keeping on top of the house stuff - not doing absolutely everything and the husband doesn't lift a finger.

If he’s supporting you financially then I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to do his ironing. I know I’ll get flamed from the ‘but they’re his kids too’ brigade, but I think if you’re at home all day the minimum standard is cooking and cleaning, and if he likes his shirts ironed, then yes, that too. How long does it take to iron a shirt a day ?

Of course it’s your job, he provides all the money your part of the bargain is to be his support.

And if he loved her he would consider she is looking after his kids,is pregnant and not expect her to run around after him. Works both ways.

You aren't his maid! He's an adult so can do his own ironing.

Yes, of course you should be doing ironing, especially his work shirts. That is non negotiable

Those poor men having to do wife work these days.

I think it depends on the ages of your children, how much free time you and your dh have. Issue is this has not been your complaint, you didn’t say you’re not doing it because you’re busy with other tasks, it’s simply because you don’t like it. Fact is your dh may also not like his job but he can’t just quit. There’s only a few things we iron but DH and I work full time, we have 3 children (youngest is 1) and we both find time to iron them and keep the house running. None of us is fussed about how ironing should be done, so long as the creases are gone. It takes less than 20 mins of my time weekly.
If the SAHM arrangement is not working then it’s better you go back to work and both pay to outsource things.

Why?

it’s absolutely not non-negotiable as all the posters whose husbands do their own ironing evidence.

I don't iron unless I can help it (one linen shirt that does prefer an iron)
Do you have a tumble drier @crocly ? If so, what I do is this:
When the clothes are dry, I get a (white or pale colour just in case ) flannel or similar and dampen it (not dripping but damp). Pop that and half a dozen tshirts or whatever in for 10 minutes on the hottest temperature for the fabric. Don't do more as it doesn't work as well. Then, take them all out when it's steamed them nicely, have a bundle of hangers on stand by and hang them up to air off. The creases will have dropped out by then. Repeat for shirts, I find about 4-5 in my small size dryer is best, if you overload you can't get them out quick enough and they crease a bit more.

I do think hot irons are a hazard with toddlers / pre-schoolers though. I would defer it on safety grounds - the ironing board isn't the most stable of platforms to plonk a very hot, very heavy object when you have toddlers hanging about as they do.....

I was a stay at home mum and I did all the ironing. I'm quite unusual because I quite enjoy it. I iron pillowcases, duvet covers, tea towels, napkins, knitwear, anything! I prefer ironing to mopping and dusting.
Maybe you could share the backlog then come up with a solution for the future.
When I returned to work full time my husband and I each tackled our own but when I was at home I felt like it was one of my responsibilities.
How can you hate ironing so much ? It's meditative!

Thoughts and prayers.

@Comedycook I have DC.

Being a sahm with small children and another on the way is not a luxury. It's enough to keep on top of the childcare, generally keeping the house in not too bad a state, dealing with never ending washing for the children and the mental load. I don't think his ironing is your job. I don't think his washing is necessarily your job either.

SHE is the person we are talking with here, though. Not him.

She has asked a question and people are responding to her.

I don't iron, hate ironing shirts. Husband does his own. If I have a particularly crumpled shirt I hang it in the bathroom and the steam gets the creases out.

I hang everything up or fold tshirts and put everything away, and if it needs ironing it is done just before wearing.

Used to spend hours ironing, it's a total waste of your life , half if the time I'd find the kids' stuff screwed up or on their floor after carefully ironing it all. Nope not for a few years now, and I am a SAHM with teenagers and dogs and I prioritise lots of other stuff.

I have been doing it for too many years so I’m really efficient at doing it but I don’t exactly enjoy it 😳
I think in your particular circumstances I’d send it out to be done for now .
if you’re really careful with how you wash , dry and fold/ hang your clothing it definitely minimises what needs to be ironed .
Some fabrics don’t need it at all but linen and heavy cotton 🤪 crease so badly
As for bedding , I used to iron mine but stopped that as it was taking far too long and my legs were aching .
Seersucker duvet covers and pillowcases are great ! Non iron .

Or, on the flip side, if someone else had given up their job to look after our kids all day (not to mention growing the next one) so i could continue to further my career I wouldn't also expect them to be my domestic servant.

We iron pretty much everything. DH does it if there's a GP on, I do it in school holidays, whoever has time does it. We don't iron the other's work clothes. If I was at home all the time, I'd do it all while watching the television. I also do all the dusting and clean the bathrooms but I never mow the lawn.

I iron everything i hated it as a child my mother wouldent iron nothing my clothes looked ragged and crimped.

SAHM can be the worst of both worlds, it's very busy looking after children all day but no one values it and they say it's a luxurious life. At least at work I can have a hot drink and go to the toilet without someone following me. Yes, he is supporting her financially, but she is looking after the kids to allow him to work. I wish people would stop denigrating women's contributions. It's often a trap too as the men get so used to having someone at home, it's easier to continue to be a SAHM when kids are at primary with holidays/drop offs etc. Then it's hard to get back into the workforce later on.

I would do the shirts tbh

Get rid of the ironing basket is my advice.

Best thing I did. I treat my washing carefully so I give it a good shake and pull when I hang it out. I bring it in over my arm flat, fling on bed and hang it up (if I can't hang straight away at least it is flat). Or sometimes fold it on a little bench straight off the line. A quick smooth with hands (known as the hand iron here) and it looks fine.

We also have categories of t shirt so there are those he just wears round the house when he's changed after work. I don't worry about those. And good t shirts that get the priority it being hung up immediately. He's also taken to golf style polos which are a much better fabric and don't really crease.

Our ironing basket was a place things collected creases and were ignored. Now if it's an item that really needs ironing like a shirt (manual worker so these are weddings and funerals) I still hang it up and then it just needs a quick tickle where as before it would be so badly creased at the bottom of pile that I'd probably end up washing it again anyway.