Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Except the domestic load when you have multiple children and a baby on the way is a 24/7 workload. If he works circa 40hrs per week … what other work is he doing? Providing for a family isn’t solely financial.

I hate ironing and didn't do DHs shirts. I did, and still do, everything else round the house including all the DIY. My DH doesn't have a problem with doing his own ironing.
I also worried a lot about having the iron up with kids running around.

No, if I had wanted to say that then that’s what I would have said.

It is a simple enough question.
Sometimes a little perspective helps.

I was an sahm and used to outsource the ironing

What do ‘previous times’ have to do with anything?

DH irons his own, ditto adult DS. My Mil was a Tailor so my husband is very fussy. DD irons nothing.
I like ironing but I have a Tefal steam generator. I'm on my third one after twenty years. Game changer. Before that I had an ironing service.

Indeed a 24/7 job - fuck that, I’d rather be single and have one less idiot to run round after (toddlers are mainly idiotic!)

Yes, who ever stays at home does it.

🤣🤣🤣if he wants stuff ironing then he can do it. You aren’t the maid or a slave. As a SAHM with 2 small children and pregnant again then lm sure you have lots to do. I haven’t ironed is over a decade maybe even 15 years and somehow we have all survived

Loving the ironed underpants boasts! As well as the “why don’t you do it while you watch TV” suggestions. Not really, actually cringing inside

I'm a sahm and I iron school uniform and my dh's clothes. I usually do it one morning a week, takes about an hour. Eldest child 7, youngest was at morning preschool. It's a job that needs doing and I'm home more to do it so I do. He does his fair share of household jobs when he's home and it's all about sharing the load.

Whether you love a person or not has a lot to do with everything in a relationship.

“I work directly with a bloke who I would guess is paid £1m a year and his wife doesn’t really work and even he irons his own shirts.”

This non-sequitur has me baffled.
What on earth does his income have to do with it?

Nope.

The only concession I would make on that is he can pay someone else to do it and I will have them ready to hand off at the door to that someone.

Yes fully supported to work with an ironed shirt!
You can easily iron five shirts in one half an hour out of a whole week, it’s not much to ask.

You shouldn't have to do it, and your husband shouldn't expect you to do it. But it's generally easier - if you're ironing anyway - to do a week's worth of shirts. It takes about 2 mins per shirt IME. My mum always ironed my stepfather's shirts (and still does!) despite working FT and being the primary carer for us kids - simply because it was easier and quicker that way.

If you simply don't have time/are too tired (and both are understandable - being a SAHM doesn't mean your husband never has to lift a finger) then have a conversation with your husband about it.

If you're at home wrangling kids and looking after the home, the cooking, the groceries etc. then him spending a bit of time one evening a week doing his own ironing - or just his shirts - really isn't an imposition; he can do it once the kids are in bed and can watch TV while he does it.

Ultimately though, it's about you both respecting each others labour and contribution to the family (whether financial or in the home) and dividing things in an equitable way. Only you and your husband know what that is in your circumstances and it relies on you both being honest and respectful about time, effort and ability.

This is a bit like housework isn't it - those men that don't see it have 'different standards'. Sounds as though you have different ironing standards.

I work pt, I iron DHs shirts (but he mainly wfh) but don't iron anything else, very little gets ironed. T shirts are tumble dried and folded. If he wants other stuff ironed he does it himself. Also perhaps he should buy non iron shirts!!

With two little ones and in your 3rd trimester, no chance.

I did most of the ironing when I was a sahm (couple of hours on a Sunday night with Lewis or Midsomer Murders and a glass of wine).

When we were both working full time we'd take it in turns pretty much. Most things we wear now don't need ironing.

£12 for 3kg of ironing picked up and returned to the house around here. I will never iron another piece of clothing.

I never have ironed something belonging to another adult. What are you, his housekeeper?

I do mine and the kids. My partner does his own. I would do his, makes no difference to me I just stick the tv on and do the pile. Unfortunately (or fortunately for me) he was taught to iron by his dad who was a warrant officer in the army so his ironing standards are much higher than mine so he prefers to do his own.

It’s T-shirts rather than shirts so I doubt that his job depends on it.

He can iron a T-shirt in the morning.

So can he. He doesn't just get to go to work and do no other domestic shit.

I ironed work shirts but do not iron tshirts in my house. His mum irons everything including underwear.

My kids are young adults and I taught them to iron. One wears smart shirts to work so they need to be ironed but it’s his job to do.

He’s moaning about his T-shirts not being ironed which are unlikely to be critical to his all important job.

If he wants them ironed he can iron them.

DH does his shirts, and DD’s. I iron once in a blue moon

no one is saying she should do “all the shit jobs“.

Sometimes a little perspective on an issue helps though. I think it’s a reasonable thing for her to consider, else I wouldn’t have mentioned it.

I need a house elf 😊. Are they little gnomes that clean and declutter whilst you sleep? Like a robot hoover that does everything? This thread feels like it's been infiltrated by tradwives! Or men who want a housewife. OP has two small children and another one on the way, I don't think she has time for ironing.