Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

I feel like I’ve stepped into a time vortex! Of course your job isn’t to iron. It’s to look aged the kids and any Jodie work is a bonus. He might still need to do 50% of the house work whilst the kids are little. Why does he see it as your job? I don’t iron. If DH wants his shirts ironing he does it.

I think it’s highly relevant.
You don’t. And that’s ok.

Not everyone sees things the same way.

From my perspective choosing to do mundane / boring things you might rather not do solely because you love someone isn’t a bad thing.

depends if it’s because u genuinely don’t have time or if you can’t be arsed

in our house the one at home would iron

Great post and I totally agree. Saying she should do it because he lets her stay at home is implying she owes him so much he can tell her to do literally anything. What an unhealthy basis for a relationship.

I agree with you completely but… have I found the last person within Western civilisation who has neither read nor seen the Harry Potter series?

We had three sons in under four years, I was a sahm until the youngest was 7, I did all the ironing.

Huh, I didn't know SAHM stood for stay at home maid... 😁

I think with most of these things I take the view that it's whether the balance of chores vs free time is fair. So if you are managing to get a lot of downtime during the day whereas he's at work doing long hours maybe you could do it. If (more likely) you're both flat out busy all day and he's expecting you to do ironing on top of that - no. I think for me it's less about who is doing what and more about how much free time each person gets.

If you have very young children at home, I would argue that ironing is one of the jobs you really don't want to do around them- too much risk of them pulling the iron/ ironing board over.

Personally I don't mind ironing, but I never did any with small children around when I was a SAHM.

If the children are at school all day, I'd probably do the ironing along with other household jobs/ cooking/ cleaning. If you're looking after children at home all day, or you have children with additional needs, then that consumes most of your day.

Presumably your husband doesn't work 24/7, so he can iron his own shirts.

He needs to iron his clothes if he wants them ironed.
As simple as that.
You hate ironing and as busy as you are it is not a priority.

Yet you asked: 'Do you love him?'
On a thread where a person is asking whether she should iron her partner's clothes.

Your implication therefore is that if she loved him she'd do his ironing, or if she doesn't do his ironing then she doesn't love him. Most logical people would make that connection - as you also did without directly saying so.
You're simply being disingenuous to say that isn't what you meant.

I'm a SAHM and yes I do his ironing, not because it's my 'job' but because I love him and want to make his day easier for work, the same way he doesn't have to pay my car insurance, bills etc but he does so I can stay home and look after our children and home x

If I was a SAHM I’d iron whatever needed ironing. If DH was a SAHD he’d iron whatever needed ironing.

Personally no I don’t think you should do his ironing.

But maybe as a meeting him midway you could hang his clothes to dry on their hangers and thus when they do need ironing, and often they don’t, it won’t take him long. I actually find bunging an item on a hanger easier than mucking around with pegs. I then take an armful off at a time when dry and go put them straight in the wardrobe.

I’ve dried my clothes on the line for years on hangers (and in winter dry them indoors on a rail in our spare room), I also take care when hanging stuff on the line with pegs too as it makes things much easier not ironing. I rarely iron things, and occasionally it’s just the hem of a dress etc. I don’t let clothes loiter in a washing basket when dry either as they get crushed., if I’ve not time I lay them carefully on our bed and deal with them later. I also place things carefully in the basket.

it seems a lot but having been in this mode for years it’s just second nature, I’ve also taught DH to do it too. He’s always done his own washing as well as any ironing as with an ex who wore seven shirts a week plus seven polo necked shirts in the evening I wasn’t getting caught in that crap again.

I don't iron my clothes and I sure as shit would not iron his.
(Not a SAHM but I don't think that would change anything)

God no, life is too short to faff around ironing clothes! We don’t even own an iron!

If I was a SAHM I would iron, just not the shirts. I work FTE and iron and primarily do washing

Ah yes, those women in previous times who had such a great deal in life. Some of them also used put make up on before their husbands woke up, as part of their job, but fortunately women have broken free a little.

I know exactly what I meant and I meant what I said.

You aren’t a mind reader!

You took my question in a particular way, that I hadn’t intended. That’s your prerogative, but when you try to tell me what my question meant you overstep the mark.

Couldn't agree more with this.

🙌

Ok. 😂

There is a huge difference between being a SAHM if your children are at home 24/7 to once they are in school. If they are preschool and you were working full time, you would be paying someone to care for them. That person would care for them and feed them and if decent would tody up after them and maybe do their laundry. That person would not iron your husband's shirts. You are their stay at home mother, not his.

Once they are in school full time, if you were to decide to stay home then I would expect you to take on more as you would have more time.

Tell him to iron them on front of the TV. You aren't the maid.

Lolol this thread. No, you don't have to do his ironing.

I've heard it all now!! Or perhaps she's saving them a lot of money on childcare.

Ironing is one of those jobs that is only a job if you choose it to be.

Its not essential, and if you are careful with how you dry and fold laundry doesnt need doing half the time. If he wants them ironing, he irons them. If he cant be arsed then he wears unironed stuff, either way its up to him not you. You and the kids manage so why cant he?