Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

What's an iron?

😉

If he wants it ironed he can do it.

Ironing, smironing. He can do it if he wants ironed t-shirts.

Lots of responses already!

For me it depends on how your time is filled as a sahm and how your spare time compares with DH. If you’ve time during the working day for household chores then it doesn’t hurt to fit the ironing into your role. However, I don’t think you should have to make time for these chores during the evening or weekends. That should be free time for both of you and any chores should be shared.
As a sahm, I expect to parent the kids solo whilst my DH works. I don’t expect that role to encompass all household tasks and chores. I must admit that a lot of the life admin is mine to do. Grocery shopping, meal plans, appointments etc but when my husband is at home, he is equally responsible for the children and the home. If he needs a shirt ironed and it’s not done, he’ll do it.

As a SAHM, I think ideally you would do some ironing, including DH's, where possible. However, in your current position with two little ones and quite heavily pregnant, I imagine it would be too much. When I was at that stage, we made use of a local ironing business: a lady would collect DH's shirts once they'd built up, and return them all, beautifully ironed, a few days later.

When my DC were a bit older (primary school age), I did have time to iron. I used to do it while watching a TV programme with them. Choose something that you like watching too - I recommend Mallory Towers, Operation Ouch or The Pets Factor!

SHe's not ironing though - she said she doesn't iron her clothes or the kids clothes.

When I was sahm, yes I done the ironing and still do. I hate creases and everything looks scruffy. I put on a tv show / audio book and enjoy the hour to myself as you can't do childcare and iron.

I'm a sahm and do all the ironing.
I don't love it either, I have a 2 month old, a 2 and a 3 year old. They're all still at home with me and ironing is stationary so it's hard if kids are outside etc. and I can't hold the baby and iron as well as I can when cooking for example.
But if all of us just did what we loved, nothing would get done.

my husband also doesn't love getting up early and working late or driving far for meetings, but it is what it is hey.

And I'm not perfect, sometimes I don't get to all the ironing so will quickly iron a shirt before he leaves for work.
But I don't make him beg

You're a SAHM not his maid. IMO Ironing falls outside the job description of Stay At Home Mum unless it's kids clothes.

Does he do other domestic chores or do they all fall to you? If he does other domestic chores when home/off, perhaps swap the ironing for something

No, fuck that. If you don’t have time to shower and get ready properly each day, you definitely don’t have time to do the ironing. I say this as a SAHM with two toddlers. If your kids are in school it’s a bit different.

Hard though it may be to comprehend women who were at home providing full time childcare in previous times also managed to do the housework, including the ironing.

If his job requires him to look smart, it's unlikely to involve t-shirts..

OP I'd do a time budget for both of you. If you currently end up with significantly more leisure time than him, rhen yes, absolutely. But I suspect it's the reverse.

I don’t iron anything. Thxfully dd secondary school is polo and pleated skirt!

DP irons, but only his work shirts

Really? What a spectacular waste of your time.

Give over

This!
You’re fully supported financially and are at home all day every day and you can’t be bothered to do his ironing, that sounds utterly selfish to me.

Yes and ironing wasn’t necessary then either. It was just another way for women to judge one another.

This.

It was five shirts per week. It wasn't really the hill I wanted to die on and I made him buy me a nice steam press to do it.

How does he manage to work with 2 kids and another on the way?

And he's fully supported to work and continue his career without having to concern himself with childcare....

Ah OK, well yeah SAHM only in office hours, well that's a piece of piss 😀 I'd be happy to swap ironing for bedtime in that case! Being the SAHM/everything IS hard. Personally, I'd have rather gone back to work but didn't want my DC in fulltime childcare as it wasn't a financial necessity.

It's immaterial what others got done as a SAHM with small children. Maybe your children were easier. Maybe you had more energy. Maybe you were just a superhero and could do more than anyone else.

There's no SHOULD in being a SAHM, apart from looking after the children. The rest of it depends on how you split tasks and what you can achieve during the day given your particular circumstances. If ironing t-shirts is a step too far for OP then it's a step too far for OP. As an adult, her husband is capable of doing things he wants done himself.

That's the only reason my iron has been out in years! 🤣🫣

I'm a SAHM, with a 6 year old (home educated) and 3 year old and I am 7 months pregnant.

I do not do my husband's ironing.

I do all the laundry. hang on hangers, put away etc but do not iron - husband does items if and when they are needed.

He wouldn't trust me with the iron anyway I don't think, I am awfully clumsy!

However, if he asked me to do it, I would certainly try!

T-shirts?? 😂😂😂 They’d never in a million years get ironed in this house!

When does he expect you to do that? I can’t imagine you’d get much free time during the day, should you be doing it when the kids are in bed and he’s got his feet up watching the TV? Would he seriously sit there watching his pregnant wife slave away at an ironing board. Nah, fuck that!

I haven’t rtft so it might have been mentioned already but have a look at Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play with your partner.