Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

He didn’t decide she had to iron them, she decided she wouldn’t. Not the same thing.

If what as SAHM does all day "isn't work" then why to do so many men (and their apologists) object so passionately to the idea of them doing any of this "not work" when they are at home?

It's either work or it isn't. If it isn't work then why the tantrum? Just get on with it and iron your own shirts. If it is work then explain why one person should be left doing all of it alone?

Congratulations op. One question and no return and the thread has blown up! Ironing. Who knew there was so much to say…🤷🏻‍♀️

My conclusions are:

Handmaids, Hinch fans and internalised misogyny = “yes, get cracking. He pays for the roof over your head ffs.”

normal thinking people = “a man is perfectly capable of ironing his own shirts. You’re a sahm not his housekeeper.”

I have never ironed DH stuff full stop, not even before I was a sahm!

He repeatedly asked her to after she said no. He didn't do them herself. He decided that it wasn't his job to do his ironing.

Not sure that ironing is the real problem here. You don't seem to like him very much.

He also said that he doesn't like ironing and has a lack for her views.

She decided she wouldn't do it anymore and told him that.
He decided that she would even after saying that, which is why he left them to pile up and keeps moaning at her that he has no clothes and asking her to iron them.

It's all there in the OP.

Does he seem to like her very much?

You're still here ignoring the actual SAHM's saying they would not choose this life in an ideal world?! Some would, great. Some wouldn't. You clearly can't get a grasp on the fact that people are different and it's not everyone's preference and idea of luxury to be a SAHM. Do us all a favour and bore off.

Ok. He’s giving her money to raise the kids and do housework.

Is he? The OP doesn't say that does it?

I won't go back to work, because I am 68. My DH is still running the business he started 35 years ago, at 34. He is trying very hard to find the right person to take it forward to keep a super-skilled team together for his customers businesses, when we are all getting old. The skill set we need is old tech, high know how, very hands on technical/practical so in addition to the commercial skill, we also need an apprentice-master and trainer. If the person we're headhunting says no, the business closes with all the jobs.

I guarantee she’s ironed those shorts though

Just because you choose to live like you’re in the handmaids tale doesn’t mean we all have to 🤣

Share the ironing.

Or, maybe, money goes into a joint account and she has access to it for household and child related stuff, as well as her own needs, because he earns for the family and she looks after the family, because they're a team.

But being a team doesn't mean one person does every single domestic chore on top of their role raising the children, while the other has an actual "clocking off" time.

It’s parenting though, isn’t it?

Parenting is often a thankless task. I’m a working parent and certainly don’t get any annual leave or sick days from parenting either.

Sahm you can iron his shirts, l always have done and l don't mind ironing unless it's 10 shirts at once !

But are you parenting while you're working?

I'm a working parent. I have a really high stress job three days a week. But the change in stress means I don't lose my mind from either thing.

The change is respite. There's a reason they say a change is as good as a rest.

Work it out yourself

Is providing financially for your children not parenting?

Are you suggesting if you weren't a parent you wouldn't still go to work?

That's the kind of attitude that people have towards nannies etc not towards their partners.

I certainly never saw it that way when I was working and my ex wasn't, and he didn't see it that way when it was the other way around.

To think that financially providing for your family means that the other parent is supposed to provide you with a service.

If he earns more does she have to do more? What if she's already doing everything at home and then he starts earning more? What service does he get in exchange then for the boost in income? Maybe more sex?

Or what if he starts to bring in less money does she have to provide the complete service no matter how much he 'pays' her?

I was a SAHM to four children.

I did ALL the ironing, and washing, and housework.

What wasn't done when he got home we shared, so cooking (if it had been a bad day), washing up and getting the children to bed.

He worked a lot of hours, but so did I and he knew that, so never took the piss. There was many a night when he was working after we'd got them to bed, and I was ironing/sorting out washing/tidying up.

We were a team, he had a hard job, I had a hard job looking after them all, and we worked together to make it work.

Mind, I don't see how a basket of ironing can't be done. I hate cleaning bathrooms, but I just get on and do it.