Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

HVPRN · Today 18:53
“750 responses and OP hasn't returned?”

Exactly. She doesn’t need to. Anything with ‘SAHM’ in a title brings out the same people, same posts.

Women who bizarrely think it’s for them to define “the SAHM role.”

Women who have been protesting the same thing on here for years “Ooh I could be a SAHM but I don’t want to, so I’ll just spend my life going on and on about SAHMs on MN instead. Nobody will ever suspect I’m weirdly obsessed about this. Noooo.”

I do things for my DH and he does things for me. Because we like making each other happy. But none of those things are housework. Because that's not for me it's just a job that needs to be done so we can get on with our lives.

This is like people saying "DH watched the kids for me, I'm so lucky". No. He took care of his own kids. He didn't do it for you. One of you has to do it. It just falls to the woman.

Where’s her money coming from then?

No I wouldn’t iron. He can do it himself. It’s not like you do nothing as a stay at home mum

Unless he's paying her a wage, he is not "literally" paying her to stay home.

She could also go out to work every day, maybe not earning much if she's been out of the workforce a while, and then he would actually have to pay people to look after his children and probably do some of the house stuff. That would be on top of everything that currently gets paid for and would still be required.

She's contributing to their family not the hired help.

I used to make our bed, one morning I discovered my wife remaking it. I never made it again. Just saying.

Surely he doesn't have that many work shirts? 😂

He could outsource them if he wanted but no way would I be splitting the ironing with him.
Absolutely no chance would I compromise on this after he left the clothes sitting there for a year after I said I wasn't going to do it anymore and he then moaned at me that he had no clothes to try to make me iron them.

Absolutely no chance on this earth. It's a hill I would die on.

I can’t believe the amount of people on here who state they don’t iron anything?
Everything I own is ironed even my knickers.

I think it's more unusual to iron your knickers than not to iron anything!

The attitudes are really astounding.

I wonder would they share these attitudes with their own sons and daughters.

Their daughter is having a moan about how her husband expects her to do everything at home and they speak to her like she's living off his charity or that he's her boss and she has to obey him because that's her job 🙄

Or the son talks about how the wife won't iron his shirts and they criticize her and make out he's perfectly in the right and he's enabling her to live a complete life of luxury and she should absolutely iron his shirts, after all he goes out to make the money, he shouldn't need to have to get his work clothes ready too!

The marriages are unlikely to be very happy.

Agreed. And all those saying oh but he earns the money so you can stay at home 🤨🙄 So who is looking after the kids whilst he is at work?...oh yeah, you. Reeks of misogny also that somehow his financial contribution means he is entitled to do sweet nothing at home. And even as an aside from this, he is a grown ass adult who can iron his own clothing if he needs for goodness sake especially when OP says they don't iron the main bulk of family's clothing.

My wife is sahm, even when I worked away all week I would from my clothes even t- shrts, socks and underwear with military precision (I like everything crisp and neatly folded). I own my shit and your lazy ass needs to start pulling his weight

I don't even know where my iron is. It's in a cupboard somewhere I'm sure. But I work from home, DH has polo shirts for a uniform and my DD is 2 and all her clothes look no different after an iron to beforehand.

Why your knickers? What's the point of that time used to iron them?

I feel bad for you.

And that my friend some might call weaponised incompetence 🤨

You’re a SAHM yes you should

This isn't the flex you think it is

I don’t even own an iron. Haven’t in years.

An example of making each other's lives easier might be ironing ones own tshirts? Would it not?

And ...

Other people make different choices. Very simple.

My husband worked long hours in a demanding role where he needed to wear a suit and tie. I was a SAHMum - not a SAHmaid, but I saw ironing as part of my role to ensure he always looked smart for the office as his appearance was important in his working life. I not only ironed his shirts - I starched them! I wasn't an embryonic Handmaid, but because my husband worked long hours so I could stay home and raise our kids, I worked long hours, too, running our home. We were a team. However, Im not a total idiot. Now he's retired, I no longer iron his things!

I don't think being a SAHM means you're obliged to do everything.

Ironing is definitely one thing he should be sorting himself.

I am going to be telling my daughter to vet any future partner very carefully because these attitudes are still being passed down.

It scares me that in 2024 women are still fighting this crap.

My mum was a stay at home mum for about 8 years and did the house work, all meals shopping and tasks such as ironing. My DF worked long days and often contracted away from home. He did the garden and DIY of a weekend. Once she got a job, we all did our own ironing, helped with chores and changed our bedding. I think it’s only fair seeing as though he is supporting you by working, you should be supporting him. You’re a SAHM because he can afford you that. I have always worked full time and my DH used to work away a lot. I’d always iron his things and I had a baby and a toddler on my own some weeks.

You gave two small children, and you're pregnant. Then you'll have three small children. Absolutely not to doing his ironing.