Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

If you have preschool age children you’re with all day then you’re probably busier than him. He can make space for it.

if you children are at school and you’re at home and managing the domestic sphere then absolutely either iron or employ someone to iron with the school uniforms etc

You told him you were not going to do it. He keeps asking you to do it. Serious discussion needed. If neither of you want to do it, pay someone else to.

I never did the ironing, DH is more than capable of ironing his own clothes, I hate ironing and I'm not very good at it.
A was a stay at home mum, not his maid.

Me being at "home" was to benefit our DS, not to do his ironing.

750 responses and OP hasn't returned?

He literally paying you to stay home to raise kids and do housework. Why wouldn’t you do his ironing? We all have parts of our job we don’t like.

If it was so obvious what was in the role, there wouldn't be this much debate in the thread.

Personally, if DH was a SAHP (I have absolutely no desire to be) to under 5s, I would expect him to:

Look after the children - take them out at least once a day, make sure they got fresh air, exercise, socialise with other children

Cook healthy balanced meals for the kids and for us

Shop for said meals

Make sure they had clothing in the right size and declutter out grown clothes

Ditto toys

Keep the house tidy and clean up after the kids during the day

I wouldn't expect or want him to deal with my clothes at all, I would rather do that myself. I would either expect to have a cleaner or do the cleaning at the weekend between us. I also wouldn't expect him to do all night wakings.

But of course I would also expect to discuss and negotiate the list and not order him around like I am his boss.

She's not the hired help.

Ideally outsource.
Failing that, remember he is bringing in the family means of support so you iron his work clothes - ie shirts.

No way would I iron T-shirts though, good shake and on the line to dry is all that’s needed IMO.

This really. Although obv depends on how much supervision the kids need.

I know plenty of women that find time in their day to go to the park/feed the ducks etc so I'd feel kinda guilty if this was me while he was stuck in an office all day.

I've noticed a few goady posts today

So presumably she'll be getting a full time job once the kids are in school?

No it isn't part of the role at all.
A SAHP does not have to do absolutely everything around the house.

Perhaps because I like doing things for my DH and he appreciates that I do (and vice versa) even though it might put me out a bit makes me wonder why others don’t feel that way. It might not be her ‘job’, more a question of simply doing something to please someone she loves.

He’s enabling you to stay home - well actually I’m providing free childcare which enables him to progress in his career without exorbitant childcare costs and the burden of juggling day to day childcare!

If this was reversed absolutely no one would expect a SAHD to iron the mums clothes!

Poor children. My mother always made sure we looked near and crisp. I do the same for mine.

Maybe she will if the dh is happy to share picking them up, dropping them off, housework, days off during school holidays, sick days etc etc.

No he isn't paying her. He isn't her boss and he doesn't get to dictate what her job is.

I was about to say that as a SAHM, yes you should do the ironing. Until you said you don’t iron your own clothes or the kids. In which case, he can do his own ironing or outsource it as you aren’t his slave!

You remember your mums crisp uniform? I think I’d rather my kids remember the time we spent together!

Do you actually think children care whether their clothes are ironed?

My mother in law ironed everything…towels, socks, underwear, everything. I hate ironing, but, I also hate un-ironed clothes as I think it looks slovenly to walk around in creased clothing. Clothes are an indication of how we are as people and creased clothing says lazy. Just my opinion of course.

This is just one thing that she doesn't want to do. Presumably she does lots of other things for him.

Why can't he do it to please someone he loves? She said she wasn't going to do it anymore and that she hates it, he should have said no problem babe!

Instead he decided to leave it all there and then moan about it, how deeply unattractive, I'm surprised she even managed to get pregnant because I'd be so turned off a man if he decided that I should do the ironing whether I liked it or not and that he was going to leave it there and moan at me about it in an attempt to get me to do the one thing I said I wasn't doing.

The only thing that really needs to be ironed are work shirts. Can’t you get 50% ironed professionally and split the rest between you and when you are buying shirts in the future spend an extra few quid and buy the non iron ones.

Was SAHM for 10 years. I hate ironing, and never did any. It was outsourced.

Even if she did then no doubt some people on here would still think that she should do all of the housework because his job was more important.