Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Why is it on here, that anything with ‘SAHM’ in the title always kicks off?

Why does the mere sight of the word ‘SAHM’ trigger some people so much?

it’s like “SAHM brushes her teeth…,” - 1000 posts instantly.

Only on MN!

SAHM here - I've always done all the laundry and ironing.

Exactly.

Oh how typical that for 2 out of those 3 'man jobs' they are things that are done very rarely but in exchange for that she has to do tedious ironing regularly.

I wonder if he'll be expected to 'babysit' the kids 'for her' when she goes out at the weekends to cut the grass too.

And if you are single or partner works away?

Except the ones who wouldn't be able to support the household as their wages aren't enough? I am a nurse and whilst not a completely SAHM I virtually am. I would happily work full time whilst my husband stayed at home. I dont because my husband earns 3 times my full time salary so what's the point? If I work full time, once I've paid nursery fees for my youngest and wraparound and holiday club for my oldest, I come out with £100. What's the point? I stay at home to save the childcare fees as £100 better off a month is not worth it when our children have spent more time with other people rather than their parents.

Fwiw, I never went back to work after kids.., 2 days a week the cleaner would come for 4 hours. They could do ironing if requested. Most stuff doesn’t need ironing, If it’s suits / shirts, just take them to the dry cleaners, or wash and then give it to them to press. They’ll even pick it up if you’re busy.

I’m a SAHM… I hate ironing. DH doesn’t expect me to but he needs to look presentable for work. So we compromise and I outsource it to the cleaner or an ironing service.

Maybe her DH is stopping her? It takes two agree to a swap. Perhaps he doesn't wants the negative impact on his career.

@Nursemumma92

But the vast majority of SAHMs - even if they COULD bring home the same pay as their DH, wouldn't give up the nice life of a SAHM to go out to work.

Not SAHM bashing by the way. I have been SAHM and worked part time with kids and FULL time with kids. And I would take full time SAHM ANY day! As I said, it's the best life.

Then you will slowly be as sleep deprived obviously.

It’s a relationship. You do things to make each other’s lives easier.

Because everyone on here is bitter and wants to drag others down. They are mad their DH can’t afford for them to be at home and they don’t have that choice…
Bracing myself for the comments of oh I have to go to work for my mental health blah blah…

Do you seriously think all women want to stay at home and none wants a decent career?🙄

Yep this. It's part of a SAHM's role. What else do these 'SAHMs shouldn't be doing ironing' posters think SAHMs shouldn't be doing?! How many more things should they be exempt from 'because their DH has arms and hands and can do it himself?!' 🙄 This is YOUR ROLE. You chose it.

Then he can iron his own shirts to make the ops life easier.

I was. Sahm for a few years and I did some of his ironing. I did all housework and cooking but DH had always done his own ironing( well done mil) so he continued and I’d do a few bits which he appreciated but didn’t ask for.

But the question was "should a SAHM do ironing?"

Why is it the job of the SAHM to only iron t-shirts for her husband, when no-one else has anything ironed, and it's just his personal preference?

It's not making his life easier. It's making her life harder and his life isn't actually affected either way cos most t-shirts don't need ironing. He's not asking for smart shirts for work. Just casual t-shirts.

So I'll ask again. Why is it her job?

As a SAHM I do the washing and the ironing Ive never had a problem with it . As usual with alot of these threads though the op starts a thread with sahm in the title and doesn't post again just sits back and watches the bun fight

You keep saying it's the best life, but that's YOUR opinion and YOUR experience. It isn't everyone's. I would much prefer to work and not be financially dependant on someone else but it doesn't make sense for our household and children. I have taken a step back from my career and my pension contributions- I am lucky I have a secure relationship with my husband but it's a vulnerable position for a lot of people.
The majority of SAHP I know would prefer to be in work but dont due to the same circumstances I am in.

Iron the shirts or get a job.

Exactly.

I could be a SAHM but no thanks, not for me.

Who says it is part of the role?

Troll off

Absolutely not mad my DH can't "keep me". Never been an expectation from me. We're a partnership.

We contribute between us what we can. Sometimes I've been the higher earner. Sometimes the only earner. Sometimes he has done both. Mostly we're pretty even in everything.

Not everyone wants to be a SAHM. And not everyone thinks that being a SAHP means you're responsible for everything except earning the money.

My mum was a SAHM til I was in secondary school. My dad would come in from a very manual job and immediately take over the childcare or start cooking. Because they were a team in every possible way. I saw him get in from a night shift and stay up so my mum could get a couple of hours after my sister had screamed all night.

Most people genuinely do want a proper partnership, not to feel dependent on someone else for anything.