Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

So that's all he has to do then? Go out to work? Nothing else?

With us, I tended to feel it was a part of my 'job', and did the vast majority of the ironing, which of course included his business shirts. He took the view that it was an 'our' job, and was always more than happy to get on in there if Mount Crumple had got out of hand and was in danger of overturning. . .

Same here. We don't even own an iron in our household! Everything gets hung up to dry in the sun while damp to dry smooth. Neither of us wear shirts/ blouses. I've seen partner wear a shirt once and his Mum ironed it for him as we don't own one.

Completely disagree.

I work 5 days and my partner works four. We have a cleaner twice a month who does a big clean. LO is looked after by partner on a Friday. Partner does lots of house keeping on that day. During the week I work longer hours so DH cooks tea and sorts clothes washing each night. He also hoovers the house three times a week and makes dinners for the next day.

I am a teacher so often have lots of work to do in the evenings. Guess what, when I’m off during the holidays I do everything because I’ve been off all day. Yes looking after children is hard but they sleep when I can get stuff done. If my husband wanted a shirt ironing I’d do it why the LO was watching TV or sleeping I would not expect him to come in from work and do it. It’s all about give and take. She’s literally at home all day.

Is it fuck.

Seriously, 2024 and people are still devaluing childcare like this?

If a man wants or needs his shirts ironed he is more than capable of doing it himself.

How come some SAHM don't have to do all of the chores as part of their 'job'?
Does it just depend on the boss you get?

A SAHM is looking after their own children in their own home where cleaning and cooking and the such like happens in all households, even the ones who work. It isn’t at all the same as expecting someone at nursery to do the ironing too.

You don't do everything if you have a cleaner.

Cleaner is term time only.

I would, but I iron my own clothes anyway and I wouldn't want dp going out crumpled.

Key part of that sentence is "looking after the children". I'm not a housekeeper and the children don't wear work shirts.

Neither of you are SAHP and you pay a cleaner. You've just described a bog standard division of labour.

I’m off for 6 weeks. Cleaner is term time only. Therefore I am doing everything.

Apparently so.

More than likely he'd still be working anyway even if he was single, but because he shares his earnings he gets a full time slave at home so he literally just gets to go to work, rest and then get a full nights sleep and repeat....What a sweet deal

OP hasn't said she will never go back to work once childcare is cheaper. I only needed to be at home full time for two years to avoid the most expensive childcare years. Dsis with three children was at home for four years altogether.

So your OH just comes home from work and sits down? Does nothing?

But you only have one child? Is their childcare only term time too?

That’s a bit rubbish for the cleaner to be out of work all summer. I’m surprised they keep you as a client.

It still involves 2-4 years of lost earnings, 2-4 years of career progression lost, 2-4 years of pension savings lost etc.

Like I said, I think it is often short sighted. Though understandable if someone wants to stay at home anyway.

Yes, why would he do anything? I’ve been off all day. We can relax together then.

oh lord.

I’ve done both. My husband has done both. We both agree staying at home with pre-school children is way harder. Going to work full time is…. Fine. I’ve been doing it since I finished school. As has the rest of the country. Looking after young children all day every day is mentally taxing on a whole other level.

Stay At Home Mum.
Stay At Home Maid.
Looks like someone got confused.
If I was giving up my means to earn my own money, build up my own pension, have built in time to be an adult with legally protected breaks, I'd be doing it to benefit my children. Their care and household tasks generated by them/required by them specifically would be my priority.
Did the man iron his own shirts previously? If he did, why can't he now?
What kind of entitled twit would genuinely think his life should get easier post kids while his wife's workload should increase by even more than what the kids cause on top of the financial hit she's taking? 🤯

What sort of kids do some of you have that you can't get jobs done in between looking after, feeding and playing with them?
If you do that you both get downtime in the evening.

Grown ups do their own ironing, and preferably their own laundry too.

Yes, I agree that it still had an impact on my career. However, I think it had a positive impact on my children to be with me rather than in childcare when they were very young especially. It certainly wasn't to my advantage though.