Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

No this is one task that she specifically told him that she wasn't going to do.

And even after she specified that this was one task that she wasn't going to do he just leaves it there for her to do and moans about it.

Dinner is fundamentally different to ironing I think.

It really doesn't take me any more time to make dinner for 4 people rather than 3. But it definitely takes a lot longer to iron 10 shirts than no shirts

I wouldn't expect a SAHM to cook to order a separate meal for a dh who wouldn't eat the family dinner either.

I'm home two days a week with DD. I don't iron anything. I ordered DH will iron DDs school uniform if it needs it when she's there.

DH doesn't care about things like t-shirts being ironed. If he needed a shirt for anything, whichever of us was ironing anyway would do it.

SAHPs are there to look after kids, domestic jobs are the responsibility of all on the home who are capable of doing them. If the kids aren't there, then that person isn't there so much a parent as a "homemaker" and therefore should probably do the domestic work.

Sahm here (Nd child so not really by choice).
I hate ironing but I do iron DH's work shirts. It seems fair since we all need him going to work and ironed shirts are mandatory. But when he wants leisure clothes ironed I tell him to do it himself because it's a personal choice. I do not iron any of my clothes and just some of the children's shirts for special occasions so I don't see why I should iron his just because he prefers them that way.

Im shocked how many people are suggesting ironing with two little kids and heavily pregnant.

If you told him you really hated ironing and weren't going to iron his work shirts any more then would he just leave them there and moan at you? Or would he behave reasonably and just do them himself?

I think op is the lucky one

She could be in active labour and some of the posters on here would still think she should make sure she has the fridge stocked with dinners for the DH in case she's in hospital for a few days along with having all of his ironing done.

Well she's not.
She has a husband trying to order her to do his ironing.
Nothing lucky about that.

No, he wants his t shirts ironing, not work shirts, which is his problem not the OP's.

This is interesting to me because on the occasions where I'm at work at DH is at home with DC, I'd be mortified if he ironed my knickers.

I know....but surely you saw where I was coming from?

Basically I'm asking if he was a lazy sod at home

I thought it was said 5 work shirts for the week. It's completely different if he wants just random clothing ironed then absolutely not day to day clothes don't need ironing.

This. You are a stay at home mother not stay at home tradwife. If your days are filled with caring for your children, keeping them clean, safe, happy, healthy, stimulated, and you also manage to chuck on some laundry loads, shop, prep dinner etc even though your body is wiped out growing yet another of his offspring, then you are doing your share. You are not an unpaid maid 24/7.
He can iron a shirt if he wants to.

If, however, you stick DC in front of Disney channel all day while you lounge around snorkelling back the gin, then yeah, iron his shirts, you idle gold-digger. But I am guessing that is not how you spend your days.

He would probably outsource it. But my children are older and I only iron for 20 minutes a week. And I don't do his dinner because he always made comments on how he rather preferred it this or that way so I told him to do it himself then. I am not running a restaurant. And he eats at 21 h while me and DC eat at 19 h so he's got the time to prepare his dinner exactly the way he wants it.

I iron all my own clothes my wife is happy to do it but she doesn't do it to my standard, so more then happy to do it myself.

Well he must be if he's whinging that his clothes aren't ironed when he could easily take an iron out and iron them.

It might be more economical for some people short term but it certainly isn’t long term. Especially if you have 3 kids because that’s more than just ‘a few years’.

Of course, you shouldn't be forced to iron but (if you are home) I think it depends on whether or not you actually have time to iron a bit? Does he? If he's asking you to iron his shirts for work, then I think it's a valid request. Ironing T shirts though, wouldn't be something I'd agree to. Good luck

This.

Christ. When did marriage get so transactional? He earns the money, she does childcare so he can earn the money.
I had 3 under 3 at one point and my DH worked away quite often. I did what needed doing as did he when he was home.
I don't get all the "oh it's so hard being a stay at home mum" notwithstanding special needs obviously. I absolutely loved it, even enjoyed all the school holidays.

Your job is literally to stay at home and do the chores. He goes to work and pays the bills.
If he’s paying all the bills and looking after you financially then yes you should iron is shirt.

While you look after two small children and are pregnant with a third? Is that not you doing your part so he can go out and earn the money for the financial contribution?

I have one child. I spend two weeks days at home with her. Most of the time she wants to "help" so I can do some jobs and make some dinner. Other days, not a chance.

DH makes a larger financial contribution because of those two days at home, but it's because we save the nursery fees, rather than anything else. If I worked full time my salary would be very similar to his (with a lot more potential for increase than his). But my role is more flexible and easier to do part time than his, which is why he brings in the full time wage and I don't. But he recognises my financial contribution is saving us childcare money.

So other domestic responsibilities, like cooking, cleaning, washing etc are split equally. Because I'm his wife not his mother.

Nope, it's to stay home and do the childcare. Any domestic work that gets done is a bonus.

Wrong. A SAHMs job is to care for the children. Additional housework where possible is merely a bonus. Would you drop the ironing off with the kids at nursery?