Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Lucky that he has someone to take care of his kids then, while he does his decent job.

Not to mention OP didn’t say she didn’t have time, she said she doesn’t like ironing.

I had more time to iron when I worked full time!
I gave up ironing after my baby was born. It's hard enough looking after/entertaining a baby all day & trying to stay on top of the housework.
If there was a special occasion I'd iron the clothes but everyday stuff no way, not anymore.

I'm sure her husband doesn't like certain aspects of his job to but he's doing it for his family

And supports all of them ? Are you suggesting that OP didn’t choose to have their children ? If she isn’t happy with the arrangement then there’s a choice. SAHM or wrap around childcare and go back to work - they are not ‘his’ kids, they are both parents. MN is batshit sometimes. If this was reversed and a woman had posted she was out at work supporting two adults and three kids, while her husband was a SAHF I suspect the responses would be very different.

Pointed this out upthread too - we don’t all have the luxury of saying don’t like it, therefore not doing it.

No but a parent needs to eat and sleep as well as have down time and in an 8 hour day then child needs blocks of 20 mins or so attention (as a toddler)and playing with then equal child led adult supporting you can't get much done in 2 or 3 broken hours

No, I'm suggesting that his wife is supporting his career by giving up hers.

I don't even have a bloody iron. When I was with my ex he ironed as he was inforces and I didn't go to his standard Same with DDs who ironed their ATC uniform

I was a sahp and never ironed. DH would iron his own if he needed. I’d be too busy looking after the kids and doing the house basics.

The amount he earns is irrelevant unless he also does 18 hour days he should still do his fair share once he's home. I'd say the lower paid more manual jobs need more physical rest than the average office role.

The responses would certainly not be different. It may well be more costly for both of them to work and pay for full time childcare so there is a good chance that OP being at home benefits him financially as well as practically.

DH would never ask or expect me to iron.

SAHM here, and no, I don’t iron my husband’s shirts. He was perfectly capable of doing them himself before I met him (even while he worked in a BIG JOB at the same time, can you believe it?), and he is perfectly capable now. I do most of the house/laundry stuff but certainly don’t see myself as his personal skivvy. Neither do I feel I should be eternally grateful and bow down to him because I am at home with the kids. We both chose to have kids, we made the decision that one of us would be at home for them, and I gave up my career/future earning potential to do that. All these people arguing that SAHMs should be ‘grateful’ to their husbands seem to be living in the 50s! What happened to both partners behaving like grownups, mutual respect and teamwork?!? Not one person swanning around like the big boss and the other being pathetically grateful for any scraps passed their way.

You must have well off friends if they are SAHM and still have housekeepers

Don’t think you meant to reply to me, I agree with you totally! Ridiculous that some people expect SAHMs to do all the housework as well as look after children. Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting.

And some women on here have apparently time traveled from the 1950s. Embarrassing.

Wow, this thread has exploded!

Based on what someone above has said, I'd be curious how many people above (maybe one for a poll?), would choose work over being a SAHM?

I mean, if it was a choice between 8-9 hours in an office and not seeing your children until say, 6pm, OR being a SAHM with all the childcare (and maybe some housework, for the sake of this thread)... what would the ratio be?

I can help you with this one. I’m on the committee of our nursery, we hire a cook to come in every day and cook snacks and a delicious lunch. We hire cleaners who come in daily, and if there’s an infectious disease outbreak, we pay them for an extra deep clean. If children are sick they are of course sent home. Staff are paid for extra hours to do planning work in the planning room and prep. They get paid break and lunch time. We pay a director, 2nd in command and,part time, an accountant to manage the centre and do the books. We have a parent committee that meet monthly and do lots of work in between to apply for grants, to sort social events, to prepare the budget and review the financials, to manage any parent / child/ staff incidents.we don’t wash their clothes, and the staff all clock off and get to stop looking after our children at 6 so they can go home to their own houses. That’s how the nursery teachers do it. With an army of $$$ support and in the care of the parent committee free support. It’s a little different at home without the cook and daily cleaner and manager and paid planning and break time and having to wash the clothes yourself and no clocking off at 6 and no sending your children away if they are poorly. Just a little different. Out of curiosity, how the fuck did you think they managed it at nurseries??

Naps? Some sahp have children who nap independently. That is not universal. Some of us had SN children that required constant care.

Children are not all the same. Hence why the rules of housework division are not set in stone. They need to be flexible and adapt to the children the family actually has, not some arbitrary standard that may not reflect reality.

Work. I’d choose work. It’s only now my youngest (of 3) is 2 that we really get anything done while they are all at home. Mat leave was exhausted chaos. No one ever napped at the same time and they didn’t go to sleep till late (still a problem) then they alternated waking up overnight too (still do a bit)

4 to 1 prep and set up done before/after sessions food cooked by someone else focus on the children all day lunch often with the children and short breaks of 15 minutes but on call in an emergency. Basic clear ups no in-depth cleaning no washing bed making etc. Parent at home in this case 2 toddlers all chores to do no time before or after a session to set up or clean down activities....and knackered as pregnant....no shutting the doors and waving goodbye between 3pm and 6pm but instead another 3 or 4 hours to go.

I'm not sure op loves shitty nappies, puke, cleaning the loo or the oven

I would have preferred work if DH was at home doing all the things I did with my children plus house work. It would have been easier and I would have had a more successful career. Dh didn't want to stay at home though and I bet most men wouldn't which is ironic given so many on this thread think being a SAHM is a luxury that women are only doing for themselves.

It's a luxury because most women have to do all these things plus work