Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

I’ve been a SAHM for over seven years and I think I’ve maybe ironed twice in that time (eldest’s school shirt for photo day). I don’t iron anything as it’s a waste of bloody time and I have more important things to do. If DH needs a shirt ironed (very occasional) he does it himself.

Like the OP, I hate ironing. I’ve never done my husband’s, when I was working, or staying at home. Why would I?

Looking after three children and doing all the housework is not the same as being at home, putting your feet up with loads of money after winning the lottery. Regardless, not everyone is the same as you and enjoys the same things as you.

As a SAHM, I’d see it as part of you doing most of the house stuff because you’re at home all day.

It’s reason #2567 why I’d never be a SAHM myself.

I HATE ironing with a passion and never do it unless absolutely necessary, but being a SAHM is a luxury. I would love to be able to stay at home with my baby even if it meant ironing every week or so.

You get to raise your children whilst your husband supports the household. I don’t think ironing his shirts is a big ask.

I only iron smart clothes for parties/ weddings etc. My two are very young so no uniforms yet but I will also do those.

I am a SAHM also, DH has a very casual dress code for his office so never wears shirts. If he did I would iron them for him though on a Sunday so he could watch the kids.

DH is very hands on around the house though and really does pull his weight considering he's working all day as it can be difficult for me to get a chance to clean much in the day with the little ones so most of our cleaning is done in the evenings. As I say, he really does his fair share of the housework so I certainly wouldn't mind doing that for him, I'm not sure I would feel the same if he didn't help out at all.

Also when my kids are school age I will either go back to work or if I decide to stay as a SAHM I will be taking on the all of the house stuff as I will have more time on my hands so that's only fair. I think it really depends on your individual circumstances as to whether it's reasonable or not.

Exactly so why was I called stupid for saying I'd love not to work and have someone pay for me

Her contribution is taking care of the children. Can’t believe people still have attitudes like yours tbh. I’m a SAHM and don’t even own an iron :)

Your only designated job is to care for the children while he is at work.

all remaining housework and childcare is split as time allows. That means more or even less of it may fall to you depending on the needs of the children. Physical reality of pregnancy also plays a role.

in the end, the two of you should get equal amounts of leisure time.

I haven’t ironed in years. Thinking about it, I’m not sure I even still own an iron, I think I gave it away last time I moved house!

Don’t talk such utter rubbish, ‘ironing men’s clothes hasn’t been the job of mothers since the fifties’, that is such a ridiculous statement. You honestly think that no women do their OH’s ironing when they are at home all day while he’s out working, earning a living that gives them the luxury of staying at home.
Give your head a wobble!

Why don't you think taking care of 3 small children is an equal contribution?
If she worked as a childminder and was paid to look after 3 children would she be cheeky not ironing then?

5 minutes max.....well absolutely no reason why the DH can't do it himself then is there instead of just letting them all pile up expecting the OP to do them. She's not his slave.

My husband and I both work in offices where we frequently where shirts. We haven't ironed anything for work since pre-Covid. No need these days if you hang it up while wet.

Only things we have ironed at all have been linen dresses/shirts that we are wearing to relatively formal occasions, like a beach wedding.

Oh stop it. It does not take all day to look after three kids. I have had this conversation so many times on here. It’s so fucking boring.

Give over, if you can’t run an efficient household while caring for your children you’re doing something very wrong.
Some women on here would fall over if the wind blew on them!

If she worked outside the home too then who does the ironing? No one? Or still her? I think I know..

Op doesn't iron it's a rare item

I think it’s a reasonable ask, but can you just outsource it?

Give over if you can't work a job and iron your tops that you want ironed (don't need) then you're doing something very wrong.
Your husband sounds like the wind would blow him over.

Impossible to answer without knowing the age of your children, the travelling/working hours of your DH and the way the two of you split other household and general living chores. If you end up with more leisure/relaxing time than he does (even if that is just while children watch TV for a short time) I think it’s fair for you to do any household ironing that needs doing. It can be done while sitting down also watching TV! Not many people actively enjoy ironing but does he do other things that he doesn’t enjoy, to contribute to the family wellbeing?

Does it occur to you that some people are SAHP because they think it better for the children? Most people want the best for children and wouldn't spend only two hours a day with them and the rest putting their feet up as you seem to have done.

What do you mean it doesn't take all day? Are you neglecting your 3 toddlers and babies?

Well it is a big ask because she hates it and specifically told him she doesn't want to do it.

There are husbands out there who wouldn't expect this from their partners. My ex was a dickhead in many ways but no way would he be dishing out jobs for me to do. He used to just be happy that the kids were happy and that he got dinner.

Just because being a SAHM is a luxury doesn't mean that the mothers have to live in the conditions that their husbands dictate.

Toddlers and babies generally nap
They don’t need 24/7 interaction

Of course it’s possible to look after them and do housework.