Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

I don’t do my own ironing, let alone anyone else’s! My mum made a fetish out of it and I swore I would never be like that.

If your children are school age or at nursery, if not, he should do it himself. What these men forget is that plenty of single parents (women) work full time AND look after the kids AND do all the housework, so he is certainly capable of doing something. You're his partner, not his skivvy.

I'm sure she managed to work full time before the DC came along, most people do. I'm sure she also managed to dress, feed and clean up after herself. I doubt her DH would swap places either. If both DC are pre school age, he'd be looking at £4000+ in nursery fees per month if she worked full time.

I'm a SAHM and would swap in an instant, except my DH would do a shit job. Honestly I despair at the comments on here

I work. I also do the ironing, because DH hates it and I don't mind it.

DH does all the cooking, because I hate it and he likes it. He also does the bins, and all the gardening.

We both clean and do laundry, but he tends to clean the bathroom more often and I tend to put more laundry away.

It all balances out in the end.

If one of us was a SAHP I would probably expect the lions share of domestic chores to fall to that person. But if there was a job that we both really hated, we would either take turns or outsource it. Life's too short to argue about ironing.

In my case i would think

Win win

No more laundry

I’ve been with DH over 25yrs and he used to wear a clean shirt everyday for work before he retired. He’s always ironed his own clothes.

I’ve NEVER ironed any of his shirts although he’ll occasionally offer to iron a blouse for me if I’m in a rush.

If you both hate ironing, why should it fall to you and not to him?

I offered DH an opportunity to swap many times. Funnily enough he never took up the opportunity to stall his career. Perhaps that is because he has a decent professional job though.

I'm a sahm to one child and I never do DH ironing. I try to iron as little as possible because I can't stand it. DH wouldn't expect me to do it anyway and especially if I had 2 little ones with a 3rd on the way

No, I don't think it's your responsibility.

When I worked less than DH I would do the laundry and leave his neatly folded in our bedroom. If he wanted anything ironed he would do it himself. I don't iron at all and DH's enthusiasm for it quickly died off once he had to do it himself.

Now I'm full time again he does his own laundry and still doesn't do any ironing.

You dont have too obviously, but seeing your at home all day then what's the hardship, you dont sound very kind or caring.

I haven't done any ironing in about 4 years. Luckily DH wears non iron t shirts for work. Older kids are at college/non uniform school (I used to iron when they had school uniform) and don't care. Nor do I or DS4.
I'm thinking I might have to start ironing in September for DS (wonder where the iron is!).
Tell your DH to iron his shirts if he's so worried about it. If he doesn't want to tell him to stop complaining about it.

She is not at home with her feet up though. She is looking after two small children and doing housework, while being pregnant with the third. If anyone is not kind or caring it is the DH. Most many would want their pregnant wives to rest as much as possible rather than doing something every other working person manages to do for themselves.

I don't iron, even durimg maternity leave. if DH wants things ironed he can do it himself!

You certainly don't sound very kind or caring.

OP hasn't said anything that makes her seem unkind or uncaring

If someone paid me not to work I'd jump at it the same as if I won the lottery the first thing I would do would be to quit my job

If you were ironing for the family it would be petty not to do any of his. But you do not iron for yourself why would you iron for him?

How is it two hours max? In really busy times you get 90 minutes in SP. The OP is providing her DH with children and not having any of the hardships having young children nd holding down a job entails. I do childcare for my DD, we used to go to soft play and if the weather was nice, go to the park. When in would be starting tea and doing dishes. Then general cleaning. We had lots going on in libraries etc so doing things daily. With two and seven months pregnant, the OP is entitled to a sit down. Jobs vary, a lot these days are a piece of piss, the men aren't down mines. If it would take five minutes why can't a physically healthy man do it? As said, a housewife and stay-at-home patent are different roles.

Agree. Seems a bit lazy tbh.

Then you are stupid. OP is working. She has two small children at home and is pregnant. She is not doing spa days and long lunches.

You know you don't have to be a sahm if you don't want to be you could get a job

*wombat15 · Today 10:4(
notacooldad · Today 10:37
I did because we work as a team.
He did and still does jobs that I don't like doing.
I didn't love ironing but I had more time in the house to get jobs done so why not. If I was ironing other things I'd hardly notice doing a few other shirts as the ironing board was already set up

Edited
Why did you have more time to get jobs done? What were your preschooler children doing while you were ironing? When I was a SAHM I did things with my children which they have benefited from.?
I had more time as Dh was and still is self employed and at the time the business was just taking off. He would do the night feeds so I could be rested for the following day.
As I said, we worked as a team.
He would do jobs I didn't like eg clean the loo.and bathroom and I would do stuff for him. Most evenings, we would sort the evening meal and tidy and get the kids ready for bed
Of course I did stuff that the children benefitted from, why wouldn't I? I planned my day, got jobs that needed doing out if the way as quick as possible first thing and the rest if the day was mine. Of course when they were babies it was going out walking with then in the pram or playing on the floor with toys and things. As they became toddlers it was trips to the beach, parks, zoos etc.
To me it's give and take. Dh does an awful lot for me ( not just the children stuff but much more). Ironing a few shirts was not a big deal to me.

So if you won the lottery you wouldn't quit your job and you call me stupid

It’s also a choice to have a third child if you already have two small ones. Then they should outsource it to someone else, if she can’t do it.

When I was a SAHM I did all the ironing and the lions share of the housework as my now ex-husband worked full time with lots of overtime. He only helped when he was off work on holiday or if I was ill. He would tidy up after himself and clean the bath after using etc. he wasn't slobby. I was happy to do it though because he worked hard & he did all the DIY which I really hate. I also like my family & myself to be well turned out, clothes that need ironed but haven't been look dirty & scruffy. An ironing mountain would stress me out & clothes get an unpleasant stale smell when they get left in a heap after a while.
I am so lucky now as my lovely husband helps with everything around the house - except the ironing but I don't mind doing it. I watch tv as I iron and get it done every week so it never mounts up into an unmanageable pile.