Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Finally a sensible response 👏🏻
Some of the other ones point toward the 50’s

I'm a sahm and nothing gets ironed in this house. DH has never asked for anything to be ironed. I focus my time on the dc so I take my toddler out of the house most of the day and we are out for as long as DH is at work. When my youngest is at nursery I might have more time to do it (but then I'm planning on a renovation too so I probably still won't have time).

This!

You are not being unreasonable. I've been SAHM or working very part time for 7 years. The only thing I do is wash DHs clothes as it makes sense to wash all laundry as a family. I don't fold or put anything away and I definitely don't do his ironing. What would he do if he lived on his own? His clean laundry is mostly left in a pile on his dresser for weeks as a time. I also have a special basket for his clean stuff. He's a grown man. His stuff, his problem. I've already got more things to do around the house than I have time to sort out.

I work.

When the DC were young I didn't iron. So much so that neither knew what the ironing board was!

Where are you finding a builder who works 9 hours?

Every one I have had works 9-3 with an hour at the local greasy spoon for lunch

Why would ironing his shirts be even remotely related to having his kids? It doesn't make sense. Were there terms and conditions for your impregnation that linked it to laundry?

He wants his shirts ironed, he can iron them. That's not hard to understand.

She has 2 small children and she's pregnant and you're saying she's cheeky for not wanting to do his ironing because she's making no financial contribution 😂

Her doing absolutely everything in the house, even the one specific thing she said she does not want to do is the best way to create an imbalance and resentment.

Presumably he would still be working anyway even if he wasn't with the OP so if they split due to this resentment he'll then have to work, do all of his own cooking, cleaning and laundry and then take the kids some nights during the week too.

You are a stay at home, soon to 3 young DC. Your role is to look after the children, not become Mummy to your husband. Why do so many men lose the ability to function when their wife stays at home? Did those saying you are lazy wipe their DHs arses when they were on maternity leave?

I moved house a year ago and nobody knows where the iron is.

I would not iron with pre schoolers at home, maybe when they are older.

I'm honestly shocked at the number of people that think you should do your husband's ironing!!! SAHM does not mean you are a maid.

You mean no financial contribution apart from the thousands of pounds she is saving the household by providing childcare for their his children ( while at the same time decimating her own pension pot and promotion prospects ) ?

My husband tried to insist that I did his ironing when we first got married. I don't like ironing, so I starched his underpants. He never asked again.

These days, I only use an iron when I'm sewing, and he irons his own shirts if they really need it (so weddings and funerals, basically).

No.

I don't even do his laundry and my kids are teenagers.

I am now back at work (since April) but even so I stopped doing it in 2019 after I was struggling with health issues and he gave me a mouthful of verbal abuse for not washing his work uniform after he'd had 4 days in off work.

He called me lazy and told me I should have done it in those 4 days;I snapped and told him he should have done it as he has 4 days off and whilst I hadn't had "time off" he'd spent those 4 days pleasing himself with whatever he fancied doing which included spending 2 days staying at his friends house 2 hours away whilst I was alone with 4 young kids including one with significant additional needs.

I told him he'd be doing his own laundry from then onwards and have stuck to it.

If yours or mine DH lived alone they'd have to do their own laundry anyway as magic housework fairies don't exist.

There is far too many people on here who seemed to think SAHM should let themselves be a man's personal servant and not lift a finger in the household.

And she’s proving him with the luxury of building his career whilst not having to worry about paying for childcare. Try again

Did I say he was? As far as I am concerned they are a partnership, and every partnership requires negotiation.

I depends on how you split jobs in the home. If there is a reasonable opportunity during the day then I would probably do it but if you’ve not got time and it would be impeding on down time which would change the balance between the two of you I’d say he needs to.

Our set up was weekly turn taking before kids for ironing. When I was on maternity #1 I’d sometimes do it more often if I’d had an opportunity while the baby slept. When I went back part time we still shared as the days off I was looking after baby and attempting to keep up with other housework. Maternity #2 I got none done because I had a baby and toddler. Part time again sometimes but now I’m still part time and youngest is in school I do all the ironing and the bulk of the housework on those days (we still share day to day stuff). It has changed over time with the kids’ ages.

Your dh pays for the roof over your head, the furniture, food, clothes, days out, holidays etc. I think as a funded sahm you should do all housework inc ironing

I don't iron mine or DD's. My DH irons his own when he wants to wear something that he feels needs it. If he asked me to do it as one off I wouldn't mind but I couldn't be bothered to be constantly ironing his clothes.

😆LOL!!! No, YOU 'try again!' She is definitely getting the better deal here! She could always try swapping places with him. He stays at home and does all the domestic stuff and childcare, and SHE goes out to work full time.

I bet my house that she wouldn't do this if offered the chance. No stay-at-home-mum would do this... offer to be the one going out to work whilst their DH stays at home! SAHM is the best life!

I would never iron anything for anyone unless you're going to a wedding I don't see the point.

Interesting that you assume that everyone would rather be a SAHM even if it meant being their DHs personal slave than go out to work and have someone at home looking after the children doing all the housework and generally being a skivvy. The latter appeals to me much more than the former.

I not own an iron, dh me and 3 kids. Do people realise how demanding being a SAHM to 3 small children is? The general housework alone is a mammoth task! Whilst I do all house work, shopping, cleaning and childcare whilst DH works, if he wanted shirts ironing that would be a job for him. Get a steamer for him they’re much quicker.

What is it with ironing? It’s like a symbol of servitude. If a man can put his own socks on and blow his own nose he can iron his own clothes. If a bloke was the SAHP, the working wife would sort out her own clothes like a grown up. I’ve been a SAHM and I gladly did the kid and house work but my ex was an adult and capable of taking care of his own clothes.

My grandfather was Royal Flying Corps WW1 and RAF WW2. He said a gentleman polishes his own shoes and takes care of the laundering of his own clothes and so he did.
He didn't take all his clothes home during the war. He was expected to sort them out.
There aren't any gentlemen left they are all big mummy's boys now.