Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Nothing is ironed in this house. If he wants it ironed he can do it!

I hardly iron anything. I have a few linen summer dresses that need ironing, and a couple of formal work shirts that need it, but I only wear them when I'm representing at tribunals, so only around half a dozen times a year.

I find if I give things a good shake when they come out of the machine and hang them on hangers, the creases drop out as they dry.

Entirely your call. You run the house & care for dependents who can't do their own ironing - not to manage your adult husbands wardrobe.

He can pay you to do it, do it himself or get someone else to do it.

I used to pay to get the work shirts done.
It was a local person who collected and returned and far less than £2 a shirt.
I gave up doing any ironing while any of my 3 were awake after my toddler ran the length of the room and put their hand up to the iron ( luckily not burnt)

No, you're not his maid.

What housework does he do? How much active parenting?

If there's one chore that I actually like doing it's ironing. One evening every week or so, I put on my favourite series or listen to music and iron. In just 30min I get a TON done. I feel so untidy with non ironed stuff. One thing I don't iron is bedding and work shirts. We pay extra for my cleaner to do that and she does a brilliant job.

I genuinely don't think some of you appreciate how lucky you are if someone was willing to pay all my bills so I could stay home with my children I would happily iron 5 shirts for the privilege

I would say so yes. It’s a trade off for him earning enough to enable you to SAH. I’d only do stuff that really needs to be done though, ie work shirts. If you want to iron, eg tee shirts, to me that’s bonkers but entirely a persons own discretion.

They're not MY bills they're OUR bills.

Nope. He can do his own or pay someone to do it.

I don't iron DH's shirts. Although that's mainly because he told me I didn't do them well enough so I've never done them since. I think he's since regretted that comment ;)

But no one wants me to iron shirts. My husband doesn't particularly want me to do his ironing. It's really that simple. He enjoys the role I play in his life and our family, he doesn't need or want me to bend over backwards proving how grateful am.

Which you are responsible for half so he is paying your half to.

All of which he pays.

I'm a SAHM, though I used to have a busy professional job.

My one condition when giving up (full time paid) work was that I WOULD NOT iron DH's work shirts.

Readers, he bought non-iron ones and we also made sure that our washing machines have "shirt" programmes. The programme steams them in a final tumble and you just pop them on hangers to dry

There aren't as many companies selling formal office wear but Charles Tyrwhitt still stock plenty:
www.charlestyrwhitt.com/uk/mens-shirts/non-iron/

And he doesn't have to pay childcare, or a dog walker/doggy day care, etc etc etc.

If you take 1 minute to iron a shirt, you can't be doing a very good job. Also my husband isn't providing me with a lifestyle, he's doing this for the benefit of his children. Being the sole earner for a few years is hardly a big deal if you can afford it, I've done it myself when he's not worked (and he wasn't raising any kids). Also you don't just spend 2 hours with your kid, then spend the other 23 doing housework. That would be dumb, and poor parenting.

Yes of course you should do his ironing. I can't believe you even need to ask.

Are people reading that she has two small children at home and one on the way?

Where do people think she'd find the time?

I have a baby and a toddler and there's hell no way I'd be doing my DHs ironing. I struggle to do the cleaning during the day, I have to do it at night when they go to bed.

But that's the difference he's not bothered about ironed shirts so you don't need to do it the op husband is bothered and has asked her to iron 5 work shirts for the week it's irrelevant the task your doing it something for the person you love to make their life a little easier like their working longer hours to make your life a little easier.

Yes that is part of your role

Depends how busy working parent is. A good relationship will have both parties doing their best and wanting to ease the other one’s load. Personally, as a SAHM I felt I had time and energy to do all the ironing. Different if you are ill or one of your children is extremely high needs. Or if working parent doesn’t do any parenting at weekends or evenings.

I haven't needed anything ironing in years.

What does he have that's desperate to be crease free?

Even when I worked in a collar and tie regime polycotton shirts were ok if hung up out of the drier.

Only if you agree to it. SAHM doesn’t equal domestic skivvy

Thanks for those who answered my question, there are obviously lots of differing opinions.
Ok, so say you are a SAHM (for argument's sake, 2 kids, same age), what is 'expected'? - is it 100% childcare and no time for cooking, cleaning, shopping, random chores etc, or is it all the above? Would this list of chores be 'expected' once kids are in school and you have 8 (I presume?) school hours plus the (say) the hour commute DH takes to and from work?

Obviously it is different for different kids, as others have said. Some will be angels and sleep regularly, others will cry and keep you on your toes the whole time. What would people say is the equivalent to a nine-hour day of (say) solid work, like a builder, so people would consider it a fair split?

Firstly there is not 25 hrs in a day. Secondly it absolutely does take 1 minute to iron a shirt. When your husband wasn't working I hope he looked after you and the home as that's the difference between being a house husband and a cocklodger.