Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Mine didn't and if they had I would be using the time to catch up on admin and doing other household jobs. I certainly wouldn't be using the time to skivvy after DH.

Treat being a SAHM like any job, which it is, and negotiate the terms. If you hate ironing and he won’t do it but thinks it needs to be done then outsource it.

If you worked in an office, or any other workplace you wouldn’t be expected to do every single thing that needs doing, like troubleshooting IT, cleaning , payroll, HR, general maintenance, washing the windows, dealing with visitors, preparing the post, ordering the stationery etc etc, other people would be employed to do those jobs or have them on their JD.

Your primary job is feeding, cleaning , caring for , safeguarding, educating , and entertaining your children , which you do single handed everyday( and night) of the week and which continues into the weekend without a break. If he wants you to take on an additional duty then he needs to negotiate it with you to see if you are willing to take it on. Which understandably you aren’t.

Of course you don’t need to iron stuff if you don’t want to. It’s not a necessity.

If he sees it as a necessity, then he can do so.

He is the one that needs to organise outsourcing it though if he is the one that wants things ironed.

I was never out the house for 11/12 hours a day everyday spending my partners money while he was working as things needed doing at home as that was my responsibility yes we would go out for an hour or two but I wasn't just hanging out at friends houses all day why he worked

Yes but they outsource their parenting. If your kids aren't at home, there's not much to do! 🤦🏼‍♀️The fact you even think this shows you have no idea

I agree, though for the sake of removing the ironing mountain for all time I would probably be fine with making a couple of calls!🙂

( i would find somewhere that picked up the dirty shirts, took them away and returned them washed ,ironed and hung on hangers)

I did because we had twins and it was covid times. It was quite dire I'm not going to lie. They also often didn't nap at the same time and gave napping up completely right around when our youngest was born and they were almost 3. I was dismayed but not as horrified as I was when the littlest one gave up napping at 18 months. Although the twins went to nursery a couple of days a week at 2 years old (to help the social delays caused by prematurity and covid, yay), the other days I've found it a lot to take all 3 of them anywhere by myself. And we lived in an area where there was very little to do outside the house with preschool age children. The twins started school yesterday and I was rather looking forward to nice days out with our youngest but I'm 6 months pregnant and exhausted 😂 We live in a new area so I'm going to look up some toddler groups and try to get out more 😊

What? In the evening when the kids are in bed and she has a moment?

fuck no. He can do it himself, this does not come uunder SAHM duties, he can do it if it’s important him.

But there's also not much to do if your home everyday as it's easier to keep on top of if your cleaning your house on a daily basis

Buy some crease spray from home bargains, does wonders on tshirts without having to iron!!!

What's funny is saying how busy we all are so can't iron yet where all on mumsnet

I was never out the house for 11/12 hours a day everyday spending my partners money while he was working as things needed doing at home as that was my responsibility yes we would go out for an hour or two but I wasn't just hanging out at friends houses all day why he worked

Oh. I am the way you're writing this makes me feel as though you want me to be ashamed of that, but I'm really not. I live a lovely, easy life courtesy of my husband who loves me and would hate me to feel I must spend every spare hour proving my domestic worth

I took time out of work when the kids were small, I never did any ironing though, we had a cleaner.

8.5 years together, married for 2.5, 2 kids and one on the way. I don’t iron, never have, his work shirtz are not my responsibility! Even when I was a SAHM! I’m not the maid. He can do it himself or pay someone to.

I'm not too busy to iron. I just can't be arsed 😂

It’s not “spending the partners money” if you’ve jointly agreed that he goes out to work and you stay at home.
it’s spending the joint income within a budget you both agree to.

the fact you see it as his money shows you don’t have a balanced and equal relationship

DH is not her employer.

Well you'd be a pretty crap SAHM if you just sit at home all day and don't do anything with or for your kids 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think you might be thinking of a housewife, not a SAHM, but if this is the case then I'm sure you have loads of time for ironing

I’ve always hated ironing, but when a SAHM I would iron dh’s work shirts because they were pure cotton and needed it, and he didn’t want to look a scruff at work.
Plus he worked very long hours in an often stressful job and I’d have felt very mean if I’d refused.

So if he asked you to iron his shirts for work I would hope you would considering you live a lovely easy life courtesy of your husband. It's not really a big ask

I've been a SAHM since June 2024 and have resumed hubby's ironing which is only a couple of work shirts and trousers. I make him mind the kids when I do it in the evening on Sunday. Its a welcome break tbh and I don't find it too bad once I get started.

I refused to iron when I was working. He did it himself.

There are 24hrs in a day ironing 5 shirts would take 5 minutes. Going to the park, soft play, play date is 2 hrs max so what you doing with the rest of your time that you don't have 5 minutes to help your husband out after he's providing you this lifestyle.

So if he asked you to iron his shirts for work I would hope you would considering you live a lovely easy life courtesy of your husband. It's not really a big ask

If there was some reason why he couldn't do it himself then yes. Or if I happened to be ironing something else anyway (rare) then sure, I will. But it's not something I regularly do or would ever be expected to do, he just wouldn't ask unless there was a specific reason. My husband is an intelligent and perfectly capable man, he can do it himself.

The only thing I iron as a matter of course is DC uniform. I specifically try to buy clothes that won’t need ironing as I hate it so much.

DH would never DREAM of asking/telling me to do his ironing (and I am also a SAHM) he’s not that bothered about ironing but will do it himself if it’s very creased.