Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

I think if your children are at school in the day, then yes do the ironing. If you have a 2 year old and a 4 year old, then you are parenting in the day so you don't need to iron.

And as others have pointed out, the M in SAHM stands for Mother not Maid. The job is to look after the kids not be the unpaid housekeeper.

Absolutely not. We don't iron anyway unless absolutely necessary but I wouldn't.

I've been a stay at home parent while my partner has worked for pretty much the past 4 years except one part time job I had for a while. Until our older 2 started school yesterday, I was at home with 3 preschool age children and I rarely do any housework when home with the kids except tidying and cleaning as they make mess or have meals etc throughout the day. My job is to keep the kids safe, happy, entertained and fed throughout the day. We both do proper housework, washing, anything else when we are both at home. He also very much is 50/50, sometimes more, when it comes to the kids both before and after the times he goes to work.

Me staying at home is also not a luxury and something my partner is generously providing me with 😂

NOPE. Women who have piles of ironing are just being wifey martyrs.

100% this.

As I asked earlier, what century are we in? (Answer: The one where we apparently don't love our husbands if we don't do their ironing? 🤣)

Absolutely not. When I was a SAHM my DH did his own ironing and packed his own lunches. I had my hands full enough!

My logic was the crèche didn't iron so nor did I. I iron the odd thing if he's under pressure and specifically asks me. Or the even more odd time I'll offer if I know he's stuck.

If you're a Sahm I assume your husband supports the family financially?

I think it's a bit churlish not to do his ironing.

Does he also help out with the kids and bedtimes etc ?

Get a steamer and a trouser press they are so easy to use. I'm a chronic ironer even sheets. My DS once came downstairs when he was about 14 asking if I could please stop ironing his stuff as he didn't like me putting creases in his socks and jeans.
He decided to do his own ironing after that 😂

I do the ironing. Including DH’s. But he does most of the cooking. He has ironed in the past including doing mine.

T-shirts don’t tend to get ironed here. Just shirts. I find we have more ironing in summer and it tends to be mostly mine.

There is no hard and fast rule and as others have said if you are busy with young children then you probably have neither the time nor the energy. If it’s important to him that his stuff is ironed then he does it himself or outsources it.

Putting his kids to bed, doing dinners for them etc is not "helping out" its called parenting.

I do my laundry, DH does his
Nothing churlish about it at all
No we don't hate each other 😂

Personally I don't think SAHM = family servant

We don't even own an ironing board. But DP doesn't work in an office. If shirts and smart office wear were an importsnt part of his job, and therefore our family income then yeah I'd be doing the ironing.

When I was a SAHM I did the washing & ironing and cleaning. My husband did many other tasks in the house as well as a full time job where he was leaving the house at 5am and often not getting in while 6pm. Meanwhile, I was having lovely snoozes on the settee with our baby and sharing the load with my mother & sister who I went to see most days!

I'm obviously back at work full time now, my husband still contributes to the household in many ways, he still works more hours than me and I still do the washing and ironing! I don't want to wear clothes that are not ironed, they look a mess. I don't want my kid to go to school in un-ironed clothes and I'm certainly not going to tell my husband to 'iron your own shit' either.

I don’t think you should have to do his ironing. Offer to get quotes for a housekeeper to come or call a laundrette to come and pick it up.

My children are adults now but here is no way I would have done DH's ironing when they were preschoolers and I was at home. I was a mother to my children not DH. Can't believe all the Stepford wives out there in this day and age.

Hang clothes upside down so they won't require ironing & iron wet shirts & leave on hangers to dry.

It's a game changer ironing clothes especially work shirts as soon as they're out of the machine. It's much easier to iron out creases from damp clothes than dry clothes.

Same here. In fact, the only time we iron anything is when we are off to a wedding. I am not an ironing slave. I cooked, washed, cleaned, tidied, looked after children and walked the dog twice a day. No way would I iron. If you hang it properly there is literally no need (and it's a waste of electricity!). But to be fair my husband doesn't need shirts every day (though he would still have to iron his own.)

Quite.

Get organised? Heavily pregnant with two small children? Are you for real?

The role of stay at home parent varies massively according to circumstances, in OP’s situation it is looking after her two young children, her own health and well-being, and if there is an opportunity to do a bit of housework, bonus. Ironing t-shirts is nowhere on the list of priorities.

PS - I have never ironed a piece of school uniform in my life

I'm the same. Never ever ironed exh shirts but did iron teeshirts when doing my own while watching TV. DP never irons anything himself and never wears shirts anyway! TBH with small kids whether a SAHM or not I can understand OP not being able to iron.

I would never do this for my DH

is he incapable of operating the iron?

I did because we work as a team.
He did and still does jobs that I don't like doing.
I didn't love ironing but I had more time in the house to get jobs done so why not. If I was ironing other things I'd hardly notice doing a few other shirts as the ironing board was already set up.