The absolute sheer joy of ageing

[KatParr]

And not giving as much as a shit anymore. Specifically about:
How I look to others (especially men)
Not caring as much about what other people think of me
Pleasing myself more in what I do and who I see

Yes, there are other difficulties but every so often, I look back at younger me (I'm 48 now) and feel a great relief at who I am now and who I'll become as I get older still. I know not everyone gets this but it's a slow epiphany.

Bloody marvellous isn’t it!!!
Wish I’d felt like this years ago.

I bloody love it, I have more time, energy, money I care less about stupid shit and am physically and mentally stronger than I used to be.

Fabulous, isn't it. I'm 56 and I do not give a shit what other people think of me. I could not care less.

I'm unpalatable to some, and some are unpalatable to me. That's life!

Then menopause hits. Enjoy it while you can. It's not mindset - it's physical. Sorry to be a downer.

Agree. It’s so liberating. I do still care what I look like but I care for me.

Ageing is so underrated. I see see all these posts on here from women wetting themselves about turning 35 or whatever and “getting old” and I feel like shaking them. Embrace it! It’s one of the best things that will happen to you!

I'm in peri and on HRT. Its not perfect. I also have aches and pains etc. It IS also physical I agree, but the mental liberation makes up for it, for me.

Retirement rocks.
Get up when I like. Go where I like. Do only what I want or need to do.
Enough income to pay my bills.
Worked hard, saved hard when all my peers were spending every penny they had.
Avoided strife, avoided anyone bringing drama to my life.
Divorced the narcissist philanderer.
Loving every minute of my quiet independent life that I’ve strategically worked hard for.

And to anyone young reading this… you don’t have to wait to have the euphoria of not giving a flying fuck what anyone else thinks of you. Start now!

I hate it 🥺

I'm 44. Am bleeding and/or bloated like a tellytubby all the time. Knackered. Anxious. No interest in going out and doing stuff. Feel unattractive and invisible.

I feel unrecognisable from the sociable, fun loving person I was 18 months to a year ago and can only see it getting worse from here tbh.

I’m 58 and genuinely never felt happier.

Definitely underrated and undervalued on here.

That’s amazing.

I do wonder is it only age, or also where you are in life too?

As in, it’s easier to not ’care what men think’ if you are settled.

You ’won’t care’ how people judge your lifestyle, but if you live in a ’correct’ way (spouse, kids, a house) people won’t really judge.

So is it more age or lifestyle that is freeing.

I'm 38 so not young young, and haven't given a flying fuck what people think of me for years🤣 totally agree that you shouldn't wait to start, liberating as hell 😁

Just you wait till your body starts to fail - it is shit.

Definitely with you in the going less of a shit about a lot and also more willing to speak up for myself. Without wishing to get into a semantics debate about the origins of the term Karen, which I loathe, it's certainly true that the idea of an assertive middle aged woman seems to upset a lot of people, hence the term being used in perfectly reasonable scenarios where the woman is not being rude or entitled but asking for a level of service promised or whatever.
Physically I'd like to be more supple but I think when my kids are grown and I have more me time, yoga or Pilates will help with that, ditto money!! It's definitely not something to be feared though.

67 and yeah, life's pretty damn good. Short of money, husband in a nursing home so I visit every day, but the rest of the time is my own and I'm living my best life.

This thread has made me smile. I'm 41 and am just in the bit of recognising that I'm wrinklier and fatter than I was, and therefore am becoming more and more invisible. At the same time, I'm realising how there's a freedom to that, and how I don't need to battle with my own body to be thin/look young. So thank you for posting this!

Couldn't agree more, I am 59, through the menopause (and it was fine) and life is good.

I’m only 43 and haven’t cared what people thought about me really for at least ten years. But there is something else with age, a sort of confidence that k can deal with whatever gets chucked at me. It’s good!

I had a similar epiphany whilst I was away last weekend.
Periods have become irregular at 45 but of course I woke up to a bastard of one on Friday morning.

The only dark item of clothing I had was dark blue denim shorts.
I was hot and sweaty so hair was not behaving and there was no point putting makeup on.

I went out drinking and dancing wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip flops, hair in a bun with not a scrap of makeup on.
Had a fantastic time and danced until 3 in the morning whilst not giving a single shit that I wasn't done up and was dressed far more casually than every single person I came across and none of them gave a fuck either.

One of the best bits is being able to talk to anyone without worrying what they think about you, or men thinking you're coming on to them.

I find I am a lot more fulsome in my praise of people as I am no longer worried if people like me or not.

46 here and I genuinely believe you!

Yes absolutely agree with this. I'm 59 and a dog walker. I know lots of people through dog walking, men and women and I chat with them all, sometimes walk with them if they're going the same way. The great thing is that I don't have to worry whether the men think I fancy them or vice versa.

Does this all happen post peri? I’m 43, in peri, on HRT but struggling. I reckon I could be suitably independent and embrace ageing if I only I had some energy! I don’t have kids either so it’s definitely peri.

Brilliant posts.
Not caring what anyone thinks, not giving a shit about men, not taking shit, taking care of yourself for yourself.
Shame about the younger years, this only came to me when I hit 42, but fiercely.
👏