The absolute sheer joy of ageing

[KatParr]

And not giving as much as a shit anymore. Specifically about:
How I look to others (especially men)
Not caring as much about what other people think of me
Pleasing myself more in what I do and who I see

Yes, there are other difficulties but every so often, I look back at younger me (I'm 48 now) and feel a great relief at who I am now and who I'll become as I get older still. I know not everyone gets this but it's a slow epiphany.

This is really interesting, thank you . Are you able to send me a link please .

9% of people have voted YABU. Who gives a shit what they think?😂

What a brilliant thread! I'm late 50s, and really love not giving a f*ck what anyone thinks about me.
I'm totally happy to be an annoying old woman 🤣
Lucky with menopause, after periods finally stopped 3 years ago.
Haven't seen a doctor for decades - which is probably tempting fate, coz I'm unfit, but it won't matter if I drop dead tomorrow (I say this in a positive way, because I know death isn't something to fear).
No adult kids to worry and stress about, like my friends do - bliss!
Assuming I don't kick the bucket first, I'm looking forward to retiring next year so that I can spend more time on travel, hobbies and things I enjoy. What's not to like?

I am with you.

I am totally exhausted, have not slept properly for years, feel fat and horrible ( I exercise and do weights/ swimming - plus dog walking). We have less money due to cost of living/ ridiculous vet bills and my DD gives me more anxiety and worry than I ever thought possible!! I cried earlier because the dog was being annoying and I couldn’t cope 😂😂

My job is at risk after 32 years and I am the main breadwinner- I feel invisible and very unhappy despite being on HRT!

I am loving reading the other posts - there maybe light at the end of the tunnel😀

I'm 63, not as fit as I could be and tired from working full-time and a sad year in which I lost my mother. However there is so much that is good. I feel confident in my professional opinions and expertise. I rarely cry after decades of being a teary mess. I don't dye my hair or wear uncomfortable shoes. I still worry about my young adult children but can see their resilience and amazingness. My relationship with DH feels happy and calm. It's a good time of life and I feel grateful.

I've been a yo yo dieter since my teens so I don't identify with the young/slim and old/fat thing at all. I've always been battling with my weight. I'm much thinner now in my 40s than I was during certain phases in my teens/20s/30s.

Physically I'm not a fan of ageing- looking older and having to take better care of my health because bad habits catch up with you. Both of my parents are dead, i'm tired, stuff aches, I'm divorced, two kids with a large age gap. My mum died in her 50s and I have a latent fear the same will happen to me.

There are positives and I do enjoy and embrace my life but there are downsides too.

I find it rather sad that folk are moaning about getting old. Many people don’t get to experience it and people with terminal illnesses would love to be in your shoes. Being old is a privilege. Sorry if this offends anyone.

I love this thread

Menopause was fine, thanks. Not everyone has a terrible time.

AllPrincessAnneshorses I agree. I realise it was unusual, and I'm not being smug, but I sailed through mine. Kept myself very fit, ate healthily, and made sure I didn't change shape.

I feel sorry that so many women don’t feel like this until they are older, I have always felt like this.

39 and never felt so unhappy about my life or the way I look. I read threads on here about it only going downhill from here and it's a tough read.
I am starting to get greys which means I will have to start dying my hair and at the moment I love my hair colour as it's such a natural mix of brown and blonde which I can't replicate with dye.
My eyes are not as bright and look duller.
I have lines around my eyes and starting to get puckering around the mouth.
Look at a cake and I put on a stone. For context I was 8 stone at 32, now 9 stone 4. Without doing anything different.
Periods are almost non existent.

I also feel so insecure in myself. I felt much more confident when I was in my twenties. It upsets me a lot.

I am 61 and loving life. 😄

Menopause over (wasn't too bad for me) No periods - stopped about 8 years ago.)

Men don't hit on me and lech over me anymore, and when a man chats to me I know it's because he's being friendly and doesn't want to shag me. SO liberating!

No-one to impress, so dress like I want, and go make up free if I want!

No longer have to have sex. (Used to enjoy it up to late 40s... Got totally bored with it about a decade ago - thankfully DH went off it too around the same time.)

No mortgage or debts, and lots of savings.

Kids left home, and both sets of parents are dead. Me and DH both retired. No responsibilities - and as I said, no debts. Lots of free time. Several hobbies, a few friends, adult DC, and we live in a beautiful rural village.

Feel at ease with saying no to things, and not hugely bothered if people are butthurt by it. Don't want to do it, then I won't.

Who's moaning? People who are older (55+) are celebrating it.

Weird how many people are unhappy and stressed in middle age (like late 30s to early 50s really,) but then seem to be much happier by late 50s. As I said, I am 61 and life is wonderful. Then again, I am retired, and so is DH, and have no mortgage or debts and no kids at home and no elderly parents to look after. So very little stress really.

@AreolaGrande I would get yourself checked out with your bloating and bleeding symptoms, as there is help for that, and I know from experience it is not fun when you’re experiencing that. X

I’m delighted for you but I find it absolutely terrifying.

I have no frame of reference for ageing as both my surviving grandparents had died by the time I was six.

It’s only since my parents have got older and my dad passed away in long drawn out, awful circumstances that I’ve realised what it might mean.

At the same time I’m perimenopausal at 48 and whilst HRT helps I honestly thought the way people change/slow down as they age was a lifestyle choice, not something that just happens.

As a divorcee I’m struggling with the cost of living and working ridiculous hours so have little time or energy for the self-care I absolutely need to engage with.

I’m still plodding on and it’s not all bad but I’m finding it hard work and scary and I wish someone had sat me down when I was about 35 and told me to really make sure I had my shit sorted out before I turned 40.

I hear you 💯

Getting slowly closer to death is one of the best things that will happen to you?

I don’t get it. I love my life, I have no desire for it to be over or to hurry it on so why would I be pleased about getting nearer the end?

I don’t mind the process of aging in terms of looks, but I’m only going to become more ill and disabled as I age- that isn’t anything to celebrate either.

Ive never given a shit what people think about me anyway (I’m fat, gay and disabled [obviously so] so I’d never go out if I was bothered about people’s opinions!).

@KatParr wait until you hit 60 n you will love it!!!
I am so happy in my old age skin - it’s liberating to not care about what others think and to even sit here n ponder if I died tomorrow - whatever x I’ve had a ball

Why does someone always have to come on these threads with these "warnings"? Not everyone suffers through menopause, just because you have it doesn't mean every other women will too.

I stopped caring what anyone thought about me in my early 20s, very liberating.

"Getting slowly closer to death is one of the best things that will happen to you?"

That started the day you were born!

A very, very dear, and close family member died slowly, horribly and unexpectedly last year. We were almost the same age. I'm alive and realise how lucky I am to be so, and I plan to get the most I can out of every moment I have. I feel I owe it to her to live for both of us. Not everyone has to like me and I don't have to like everyone, but I just move straight on from anyone who tries to put me down.

Once you are out the other side it becomes great again (except for thinner hair and stiffer joints).

Zow · Today 22:39

You must be reading a totally different thread to me as a lot of folk on here are moaning about ageing. 🤔

That started the day you were born!

Indeed- but it’s an unusual baby that’s aware of the fact.

I have not been happy about aging since I was about 10- I accept it’s a part of life obviously and im not loosing sleep over it- as a child I did enjoy some of the mile stone stuff about it (allowed make up/a key/a pint etc) but as an adult that doesn’t apply.

I would literally be celebrating decline to death- I just find it really odd (although I do celebrate my birthday because it’s an excuse for a good time and I’m always up for that).

I love it, not caring what others think, not caring that men are not attracted to me (I rarely met an attractive man now if I do I am not obsessing about him noticing me), happy doing very little, I am far more confident and will chat far more easily to people I have just met as not obsessing about looking stupid

knowing I shall never go to a big party again or worry about what I look like in a bikini

and to be able to say thanks but no thanks I won’t be joining you as I just don’t fancy it feels so empowering