The absolute sheer joy of ageing

[KatParr]

And not giving as much as a shit anymore. Specifically about:
How I look to others (especially men)
Not caring as much about what other people think of me
Pleasing myself more in what I do and who I see

Yes, there are other difficulties but every so often, I look back at younger me (I'm 48 now) and feel a great relief at who I am now and who I'll become as I get older still. I know not everyone gets this but it's a slow epiphany.

Hear, hear!

I thought my 40s were the best decade ever, but 50s are even better

I'm about the same age as you, and I'm so much calmer and more contented with life

I had an awful time in my 40s being peri, anxiety, insomnia etc, but my children were both teens then as well.

Now that has passed, children left home, no mortgage, better financially, life is definitely much calmer.

I’m 50 and as happy as I’ve ever been! 😃

Then you come out the other side and it's all the joys of what the OP says and no periods.

I totally agree. I'm 50 next year. I've been peri for a while but actually the last few months I feel amazing.
And no I don't mean I've no aches & pains cos I've plenty of those, but I just suit myself & it's so liberating!
I'm not on HRT but I take Menopace plus & I've also started going to a local pool every morning at 6:15 before work & I've noticed my joints have improved, my sleep has improved, my brain fog has improved, my anxiety is gone.
I've never had hot flushes or night sweats so can't comment on those but definitely mind set is so much better.
And funnily enough, since I stopped caring about what others think of me, I've actually made more friends & got more attention (lol not loads but I think the confidence definitely makes a difference). I'm a size 18, 49 year old woman who's almost completely gone grey & loves her food so it's not that I'm a stunner or anything hahaha

I hate it. Im 64 and had to give up work a year ago to look after my severely disabled daughter as finding care was impossible . Im trying my absolute hardest to eat well, stay fit , but i don't have time to myself often. My body and my brain are so tired, and my joints ache, I feel weak and struggle to get up sometimes . I’m lonely and cant see a way out . I suppose I’m depressed ! 64 isn't that old but I feel about 90, all I can think is that its all downhill from here. I can’t tell you how hard I am trying to improve things but I’m exhausted .
Bonus though, went through menopause without realising, thank you Mirena coil !

I need this chat!! 45 and struggling, but got two primary aged DC and work full time so life is hectic. Not sure if peri has made itself known yet but definitely experiencing more anxiety. Hate that my looks are going, I am so wanting to make my peace with it though as I know ten years down the line I'll wish I had appreciated what I had!

As others have said, it's reassuring to hear it gets better as sadly I'm not loving my 40s yet.

I sort of never had any attention from men and am quite glad of it, so no difference there, but I am definitely caring less what people in general think.

If someone made a rude comment to me online in the past I'd get all upset and now I'm like 'Huh, it's just a person on the internet' or I'd dwell on it if someone was rude to me in public and worry I must have done something to upset them whereas now I'm 'Well, there's a dickhead I'll never see again'

I finding it really interesting to see how I'm aging tbh. There's no reason I have to look younger than I am, so I don't have any sadness about it. And my aunt died of cancer at 39, and one of my mum's best friends at a similar age, so I can appreciate the privilege of having got to be older.

Great thread @KatParr

I'm mid-50s and have a rheumatoid condition which means I'm very creaky but I still bloody love it! I've never felt more myself and content in who I am. A few years post-menopausal now and survived the peri bit, which had its share of grim moments.

Am more aware that nothing stays the same, so if things are great, I am making the most of them and if things are a bit shit, I know it won't last.

I still work and don't always enjoy it and one of my adult DC has autism and I'm not sure when they'll leave home, if ever. However, I've discovered that there is gratitude to be had for small things and that helps oil my mental wheels. I'm also researching and investigating Buddhism and finding it resonates with me, which personally helps me too.

Most of the time I feel like aging is a tremendous privilege that didn't belong to the majority of humans preceding us. I have access to better and more varied food than pretty much any generation before me and even my modest home is more comfortable and technologically equipped than any generation before me either. Long may it last.

I'm 52 and I love it!
I'm fit and healthy ( touch wood)
My sons are lovely young adults .
I'm where I want to be career wise.

I feel the same OP, no longer a people pleaser, more confident, comfortable in my own style and choices etc.

It gets better honest (HRT helped me immensely and a Mirena). No longer on HRT now and in my 50s I'm losing weight, exercising, going out when I want to and enjoying the not giving a fuck stage.

I also embrace the joy of a nap as and when needed.

Oh yes....I loved my 40s and I feel so happy and free. I can't care what people think of me now. Got tons of friends who feel the same. Husband said the same yesterday... You feel so free!

I’m 63, retired and feel fantastic. My don’t-give-a-shitmeter off the scale.

Yes!

Absolutely loving this thread - so joyous and uplifting and such a happy antidote to the usual oppressive bullshit about ageing being nothing but a horrorshow for women. Thank you all from a woman on the cusp of midlife and very ready to embrace this next chapter!

Earlyish 60s here.

I have never been particularly interested in my appearance but really don't care much now, in the sense that clean and comfortable are my priorities.

Very uninterested in what other people think about me. Plenty of confidence, so I am generally pleasant, warm, friendly, but won't take shit from anyone.

I treat my health and my body as a project. If I don't care for it, no one else is going to step in. If someone is offended because I won't eat their cake or drink alcohol then that is very much not my problem. "Looks delicious but none for me, thank you".

If it offends people (and I know of two or three people who it does) that I am very fit, very active, slim, then they need to make changes to their lifestyle, putting the effort in, not make snide comments to me. I looked at female relatives who put on weight after the menopause and thought "nope, not doing that." My body, my choice, and yes, it takes daily sustained effort.

Older age also brings the wisdom and experience to put things in perspective. Most stresses or problems wont be so bad in 5 minutes/days/years time. Building up resilience is essential.

Apart from the aches and pains I’m in agreement. I feel free from having to people please. If I don’t want to do something I just say no thanks, no obligation. I care much less about what people think of me. It’s liberating.

I'm 70 and generally loving life. I'm older but wiser, more resilient and more carefree. My DH is a bit dependent as he has early stage dementia, but otherwise, I do what I want, go where I want, have lots and brilliant friends, hobbies and interests and no longer give a £$%^ about what people think of me, whether I'm attractive to men (who cares!! - men aren't attractive to me anymore) or having to please anyone other myself.

Yes - I have to be careful with money, but we manage fine, I need to wear my reading glasses and a couple of my joints are starting to ache a bit, but otherwise life is pretty good.

I’m in my 30s and already feel like this, I like to look good for myself and don’t care what others think, I’ve accepted that I won’t like everyone in life and they won’t like me etc and I don’t care, I don’t fret over stuff I can’t change or that isn’t in my control

I'm fast approaching the big five-oh (literally within a few weeks), and the older i get, the less I care about what people think, their opinions, even remarks.

And it's so refreshing!

This^
all these aches and pains and health issues and then sandwiching between teen children and elderly parents.
I don’t want to be back younger for men’s attention I want my knee and my shoulder not aching😢

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. You sound like a lovely, selfless mum. It’s good that you’re already trying to be aware of and look after yourself where you can re food and fitness. Can you see the GP about the aching joints and help with potential depression? Sending a hug. XX