The absolute sheer joy of ageing

[KatParr]

And not giving as much as a shit anymore. Specifically about:
How I look to others (especially men)
Not caring as much about what other people think of me
Pleasing myself more in what I do and who I see

Yes, there are other difficulties but every so often, I look back at younger me (I'm 48 now) and feel a great relief at who I am now and who I'll become as I get older still. I know not everyone gets this but it's a slow epiphany.

I really really wish I could give less shits. I’m 50 and finding the ageing process tricky. I look in the mirror and see my Nan looking back at me!

Perimenopause has been hard and the anxiety makes me worry even more about what people think about me. I constantly think people are talking about me and I lose sleep over the most trivial things.

Still a long time to go until retirement and we don’t have any savings as such and still have a hefty mortgage (both kids still at home so downsizing isn’t an option yet). Money is tighter than I thought it would be at this stage of life

mentally sometimes feel like I’m losing the plot, brain fog and can’t remember the words for things sometimes when I have a really responsible job is pants. On HRT which has helped the joint pain but night sweats and the anxiety and brain fog isn’t much improved.

Physically I exercise 4/5 times a week and im a healthy weight but I’m beating myself up constantly that I’m not as fast or strong as I was. Compare myself to others constantly which doesn’t help my mindset.

just hoping my time to not give a shit comes
soon.

Wish I could just feel more positive

Same - hardly any sleep for years during perimenopause and 2 years into menopause I changed jobs to one with a later start. Took a huge pay cut but when I’m awake at 4 am it helps to know I don’t have to be suited, booted and driving sleep-deprived at 7 am.

I was looking forward to the next phase of life. Had hysterectomy last year, to rid myself of a cancer. But blow me down, a secondary cancer appears, so I often worry what that fucker is going to do to me soon.

Aside of illness, yep, I say what I think, do what I want and tolerate no nonsense. I've made some not so clever life choices, but hey ho. I do feel much more mentally stronger and assertive than during my younger years.

43, peri and couldn't give a shit.

I've spent too long and too many years pleasing everyone else. I've cut people off, adjusted my friendship circle and I'm now living my life for me.

I wear what I want. I read what I want, I work when I want and do the hobbies I want.

I'm also more confident to stick up for myself rather than do what everyone else wants as they don't have my interests at heart.

I live the confidence and self assurance I have now.

And I have money to do all the things I want to do.

Unsure why you think this is a riposte? Having to have surgery is bad luck. Which Illustrates my point: it doesn't disprove it.

This. ^ My menopause was a breeze. I didn't even know it was happening, or even when it happened actually. No hot flushes, no mood swings, no brain fog, no anxiety, no depression, no nothing.

Some women who had a rough time, seem to get a bit annoyed when you tell them your menopause went smoothly, and the only way you knew you were there was because your periods stopped!

But I refuse to lie and say I had a bad time when I didn't. Younger women need to be told that menopause is NOT always bad. And they may get through it easily and smoothly, and not even notice it!

Physically, my menopause was a breeze. Mentally it was a bloody car crash. Awful anxiety, horrendous mood swings and my self esteem went through the floor. Contributed to my jumping at the chance to retire early when I got the chance.

Definitely enjoying not giving a shit what people think of my choices any more. But really need to work on not taking shit - that later realisation/disgust of how much someone has been an asshole to you and you said nothing at the time. I mean, do people have stock phrases they just pull out when their cheeky fucker alarm goes off?

You're absolutely right.
We can't do much about shit in the past, but now is your time!
I'm sure you pull out better phrases than in your twenties or thirties, at least I do.
😁

Pamina… inspired by you… did 2 times one minute planks last night and planning to increase!