To think people at work shouldn't ask 'what happened to your hand?'

[StarShineHello]

Currently have a bandage on my hand due to a skin infection. I have bad eczema which got infected and in a very bad state.

I've had to wrap it up because it's just so gross to see.

Today five different people have asked me what's wrong with my hand.

I don't want to explain my medical issues to strangers.

I understand there's a level of small talk in the bank/shop/post office but to ask someone a medical question just seems rude? It was every shop I went in.

And I just lied and said I burnt myself because I didn't want to go into details about infected skin and my eczema.

AIBU to think people in general shouldn't ask things like that and especially in a professional capacity? It's common sense to not point out something 'wrong' with a customer??

Actually, it’s very important. Family, friends, even colleagues are very different to a random stranger behind you in the queue at Asda.

why the eyeroll? its what I have done.

Blimey, you wouldn't last two minutes in my office OP. Everyone asks everyone everything. Everyone tells as well!!

Seriously if you came to my place you would need to hand a card out with all the details of your injury of what happened, where it happened, whether or not it hurts or not, whether you went to the hospital or not to save you telling the same story over and over again.
Fortunately no one gets offended.

@notacooldad they’re not her workmates.

Op I've got an infection in my leg due to venous eczema, looks hideous even tho it's slowly healing but I'm always being asked why my leg is bandaged (trousers make me too hot and irritate my eczema more so I've been wearing maxis).

I just say l had a nasty leg infection but it's healing with antibiotics and creams,

You’re right. No one should ever ask anyone anything ever again in case it offends, upsets or triggers them.

But she describes them as people at work, so what are they?

YABU, OP, people are just being kind.

I understand how you feel regarding the eczema - I have eczema and it can make you extremely self conscious and upset, so I get the sensitivity here and perhaps that’s why you feel like people are being intrusive. Although from an outsiders point of view, they’re probably asking because it’s visible and it’s also conversational. What always gets me through a flare up is the thought of the new soft skin when it is better and how good you feel when it has healed - hang on in there, it will get better soon <3

People who are at their place of work, as explained several times.
Exasperating.
Proof that if you did actually explain what was wrong, most people wouldn’t listen anyway.

I think it's common courtesy to ask if some one has a visible injury. It would be rude not to. It's up to you how much detail and how much of the truth you go into when you reply.
Similarly I would always ask someone when I saw them after I knew they had been ill " how are you now. Are you feeling better" . They can give as little or as much information as they want when they reply. But it's common courtesy to ask.

I wouldn't care if I was asked, it's just showing curiosity and or concern. A short explanation of a few words will do. It should be clear from your response whether you want to talk about it or not. I was asked if I'd been in a car accident by a supermarket worker after dv once. Told them the truth.

My best jobs have always been ones where we talk freely, chat and look out for each other. Horrible working in places where you either work in silence or everyone watches what they’re saying. Personally I think without conversation humans fall apart

I think that's the thing though we should be able to have conversations without asking about people's personal things ? I think it might be easy to miss why this would be embarrassing to OP. I've had impetigo before and I felt horrible about it and wore a mask over it

years ago i fell, hurt my face nose area black eye swollen lip lasted weeks, had to explain in every shop i went in, if i heart the joke take more water with it next time i could of screamed,i know what you mean totally

Its people showing some basic humanity and a bit of care. What arseholes! 😅

I get its annoying but just say something like
"Oh its nothing too serious. I had a bit an accident. How are you doing?"
And move on with your day

It's just small talk, you don't need to give much information if you don't want to (although I don't think infected eczema is any more embarrassing than a burn!) and they should take their cue from you.

But it's just a bandaged hand, not a mobility aid or limb difference or black eye or your family planning. Some of the comparisons on this thread are a bit OTT.

Showing concern I think, nothing else. Most of whom will have no idea who asked previously.

What you will find is that if you look able bodied and like it's a minor injury people will ask.

My broken ankle turned out to be permanent nerve damage and I don't walk far these days.

In the first few weeks everyone asked. I got fed up with it as yes, people are caring, but 40 times or more a day is wearing.

Now I use a wheelchair. I can tell you right now that nobody asks "so why are you in a wheelchair" or "what happened to you". It's seen as rude to ask a disabled person about their disability.

I had a black eye a few months ago. Told everyone who asked that my 18 month old son did it. Unfortunately it was the truth

@Bellsandthistle so work mates then??

I agree that random strangers shouldn’t ask. They know nothing about you yet want to know why you have a bandage on… it’s just plain nosey and gets tiring when you get asked over and over.

However a different perspective… I read once about a woman who suffered domestic violence. She’d go into work with bruises and no one ever asked how she got them because they didn’t think it polite. She wondered why the hell no one ever probed to check she was ok and find out what was going on. So if you know someone I think it’s fair enough to ask how something happened out of concern?

Read the OP.
Can’t do it for you.

Oh my word. What has the world come to if you can't show concern and ask a bandaged colleague what happened??

May I ask what generation/age you are?

If it was in a ‘personal area’ then obviously you’re supposed to turn a blind eye and not ask. Avoiding someone’s massively bandaged hand seems rude.

Why don't you wear a massive badge that says 'Don't mention the bandage' if you're that bothered.