To be worried about boyfriend’s work ethic?

[Duplofez]

We don’t live together yet but I’m considering moving in soon, and then marrying who it having a family with him in the future.

I’m starting to worry about the future though, because it’s becoming clear that we have very different views when it comes to work. I think it’s really important to turn up every day, and I will very rarely take the day off ill. If I’m feeling under the weather, I’ll just work from home.

Boyfriend however will take any opportunity he can to be off work. He really doesn’t like his job, and every time he has even a minor cold he’ll take multiple days off work ill. He’s currently had an illness where the doctor recommended he work from home for a week, but instead he’s asked the doctor to write a letter saying he needs to be off work completely for 2 weeks. We’re then on holiday for 2 weeks so he’ll have been away from work for a month in a row.

I’d get it if this one a one off thing, but he also hated his last job and told me he hated the job before that too.

I worry that if we had kids and a mortgage etc in the future, him taking off so much time could get him fired and leave us financially vulnerable.

AIBU to be worried about this?

I married that laziest man on the planet and then proceeded to have three children with him. Until one day he told me he didn't want to be responsible for a family anymore. And now he's not. Learn from my mistakes.

Oh op, if he’s late 20s then he needs to spend most of the next 40 years working. Don’t sign up to being part of that shitshow with this guy. And even if he were stably employed and didn’t hate his boss, the whole taking time as much time off as you can- a week for a cold? 2 weeks off when the doctor says he’s fine to work?? If I were his manager or colleague I’d have mentally written him off.

if you had moved in, the thing to do would be to say I will support you to spend a couple evenings and part of each weekend on your business plan. I don’t support you to quit your job because you have a business plan. Stick with your job and also get this plan going.

He's lazy and has no ethics. LTB. It won't get better

This guy would be the worst SAHP. Kids in front of a screen all day and eating junk. Please do not have children with this man.

I'd get rid of him. It's multiple jobs, which suggests the problem is him.

And if he's highly intelligent, he will always struggle to feel properly appreciated. A recipe for a lifetime of resentment.

Just perhaps you could see how the new business idea goes. Perhaps that's really him. If not then I'd cut your losses now.

AIBU to be worried about this?

Very!

Why do you think he's not getting good feedback at work? His bosses probably see his laziness/poor performance & are rightly calling him out. Starting his own business will be a joke, he'll fail quicker than you can blink. But it won't be his fault, he'll blame something else. It takes loads & loads of time, long hours, effort, energy etc to start a business and keep it afloat.

So yes, you absolutely should be worried about his poor work ethic! Unless you are happy to scrounge forever & not live comfortably with nice things. Financially it will all fall on you. I'd be running from this relationship.

Can you afford a pet that big?