In Hospital and left alone

[Petesdragoness]

The massive message I wrote of course deleted.

I'm in hospital very poorly and did have DH and DD3 visiting bringing fresh water and clothes. Unfortunately they've caught a stomach bug whilst here and now can't help.

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

Hospitals will not wash clothes but will supply gowns

OP, I am sorry you are in this situation and I am sad for you that you don't have anyone else other than your husband to bring things for you. Where are your friends?

Hospitals have gowns, just ask! You wont be dehydrated if on IV fluids, so just rinse your mouth with toothpaste and water to freshen it up.

You will get through this.

Fair enough, didn’t see your other post so my apologies! I highly highly doubt she hasn’t been offered the basics as you say so really the only issue is she doesn’t like the taste of the water 🤨

100% this

I'm going to switch off from this now, I don't think it's doing me any good. Some real bizarre responses in true Mumsnet fashion, can't have a post without some aggressive responders.

Appreciate those that have actually come up positive suggestions though.

One thing I can say is there have been some poor healthcare professionals whilst I've been here but overall many of the nurses and HCA have been very good where their resources have allowed them and I am grateful for what they can help me with.

I'm sorry you are in this situation.

Have you no friends who can pick up a bag from your home?

No neighbours who you're friendly enough with to drop off a bag for you?

Have your H and DD got norovirus?

If they have, they won't be allowed in for around 4 days (I know this from when family weren't allowed to visit a dying family member.)

Have you got norovirus too?

Or some other very contagious D&V bug?

@Petesdragoness

I was wondering what could possibly be done to help you, OP.

Could your husband pack a bag with the things you need and book a taxi to collect it and bring it to the hospital for you?

I hope that you feel better soon.

Thanks for that. I decided I could either continue to wallow in self pity or be pro-active and change my situation for the better. I did go in for a bit of self pity at first, then anger at my situation but found both of them exhausting so decided to go down the positive route. It took time to take back control of my life, everyone in a care home is treated as a moron. If you buzz for something you get (in a sing-song voice) "Hello Dear, what's happened? What's gone wrong? Or, WHAT'S THE MATTER, WHAT DO YOU NEED? As I was neither confused nor deaf, just unable to get up and do stuff for myself I found it all very patronizing. I know the carers are doing their best and I don't envy them one bit and without them we would be in a metaphorical and literal mess but it would just be nice for people to be treated as individuals.

Ps my new bed arrived this morning so I can move in tomorrow, hurrah.

Ask another friend or relation or even a neighbour to call in and get your stuff and bring it in.

Most people - Even acquaintances like to help.

Don’t be proud or stubborn- remember you can pay it forward.

For kinder, more sensible help, even though you don't qualify, I would join Gransnet Petesdragoness

Sorry you're in hospital and it's never pleasant. At least it seems you don't have a life threatening condition so be thankful for that.

Many nurses are overworked and don't have time to go to the shop and to buy (?!) bottled water for you - so bite the bullet and stick to the tap water with ribena.

Anyway, get well soon and be thankful that we still have an NHS

This is,a weird hospital. I had suspected stroke after my covid vaccine and we was in a lockdown with no hospital bisitors.

I had unlimited gowns, one on with the back open, one over the back like a dressing gown. When I did my clean clothes I wore one as well to stop food spills ( face dropped). Dispite lockdown abd strict hospital rules my dh could come right to the ward reception to drop off my cpap machine and clothes. Then my sisters bf was allowed to the ward door to drop me a bag of stuff she had bought me. Just not allowed to step inside or stay or get close. I was having regular covid tests so right in covid days.

I was in a major but local trama hospital.

They must have gowns. People, like me are blue lighted in with nothing. We had soap, towels, everything if we wanted it.

Not helpful, sorry, But part of me is wondering if you're in Airedale hospital when you said Yorkshire. A friend of mine is a frequent flier due to her health conditions and often gets rushed in strange times and she's on about 30 visits over the last 5 years shes has about 3 stays that haven't broken her down further mentally becsuse staff didn't do what they were supposed to, didn't give her meds that they were meant to as prescribed by the pain dept because they didn't think it was necessary despite the chronic pain dept literally making a complaint about them when it got to a weke plus and she'd still not had them like she'd been prescribed several times a day (she'd be lucky if she got given them once a day) took something from her to replace but never brought it back, caused her more stress, often didn't give her her daily med cocktail in the mornings never mind at the other set times and were and still are despite several pals complaints a complete and utter shitshow

Have you ever been in hospital, bedbound, unable to leave your room and wholly dependent on other people for everything? Well until you are, shut the fuck up because it is bloody scary. You feel totally impotent and powerless and at the mercy of other people.

I am horrified at the lack of resources in some hospitals around the country. The Government (and now we've got a new one it might) needs to standardize what happens in hospitals and set the bar high. A lot of this stress could have been avoided if there hadn't been chronic underfunding of the NHS by the Tories for so many years and an insistence on pushing for privatisation.

I was taken in by ambulance with nothing a few years ago - DH came in the ambulance with me but we live over an hour from the hospital so he couldn’t just nip back with things the same day. The hospital provided a gown, pads, disposable pants, toothbrush, toothpaste, a bowl of warm soapy water and cloths for washing the next morning. I did have to ask a few times for the pads, and bled all over the sheet before they were delivered but I did eventually get them.

Can’t help but sending hugs xx

That wasn’t an insensitive response, nobody knew at that point in the thread that your knickers were covered in shit and blood, it just sounded like you needed clean clothes to feel a bit fresher.

Reply and say DH cannot bring anything until Monday and I need things bringing today. Please can you bring (list what you need) and bring it to the door of ward (ward number) and ring the buzzer and pass it to a member of staff. You can honestly tell me a member of staff will refuse to pass you a bag?!! If they do report them to PALS.

This reminds me of a para-athlete on the Team GB wheelchair rugby team, aka murderball. Her mum was worried she might get injured to which she replied that she was only in a wheelchair because she had broken her back, and how much more injured can she get?

It is easy to see the positives and joke about it with the benefit of hindsight, but when you are in the middle of it, it seems like the end of the world. I'm pleased you are recovered now and having a near death experience really does change your perspective on everything.

why are they having to bring fresh water in? does the hospital not have water? ofcourse people are more concerned about your DD.. you are in hospital therefore being well cared for.

ask hospital staff for anything you need?

Because she doesn't like the taste , the juice dries her mouth and she wants bottled water

Whoa, take a step back there. You were just saying you didn't have any clean clothes and wanted bottled water. None of us knew anything about "shit and blood", you didn't mention that. I read that post in an reassuring tone of voice not wanting to get more ill by being dehydrated. And with the clothes a bit like "Ahh, be reet, just make do, you'll be fine and no-one will care". There was nothing insensitive about it. Hopefully you're just feeling off kilter because you're ill.

I know you’ve stepped away from this OP. But if you do check in, letting you know I’m thinking of you and understand how helpless, isolated and uncared for you feel.

In my experience, this is a serious problem in hospitals. Nurses started off as people who cared for the patient - literally ‘nursed’ them. There also used to be orderlies, who’d help look after you. But nurses are now medical staff and don’t see it as their job to look after patients’ personal needs. Of course, most nurses do their v best to help, when asked, but are rushed off their feet. And most wards no longer have orderlies - just cleaning contractors.

When I was last in hospital, the women in the beds next to me had nothing, as they’d been admitted by ambulance. One had lost her bag having been hit by a car. Neither had a phone, toothbrush, clean clothes. Nothing. Luckily, I had a laptop and helped them cancel bank cards, email parents in Italy etc etc. But, I was on an IV, so couldn’t get them a toothbrush etc.

There was no one on the ward to help with any personal needs. One woman was so mentally distressed and only me to comfort her at night, when I was unwell with a mystery infection myself. I couldn’t brush my own teeth for days as I was bedbound.

I feel strongly there could be a volunteering scheme, perhaps retired people, where there’s someone who can look after you like a relative/friend - ‘nurse’ you as a carer would at home. Make sure you’re comfortable, help you wash, get drink/food you fancy/enjoy (where permissable), keep you company, help you sort out stuff. At v least, a mobile shop should come round with essential toiletries, underwear etc etc. I love the NHS and the medical care is usually excellent. But I feel many patients are left uncared for in terms of personal needs/company, which is so essential when you’re ill, especially older people.