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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In Hospital and left alone

277 replies

Petesdragoness · 09/08/2024 22:56

The massive message I wrote of course deleted.

I'm in hospital very poorly and did have DH and DD3 visiting bringing fresh water and clothes. Unfortunately they've caught a stomach bug whilst here and now can't help.

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 10:13

Lots of assumptions here that I'm lazy and pathetic because I've not asked.
Also that I'm refusing to drink the water and being on IV because of that. It's making me dehydrated because adding the juice dries out my mouth, I can't just drink the beachy water because it makes me physically sick making me more dehydrated. I've been told by nurses I'm on IV whether I drink or not.

Ive asked the hospital for everything they can supply and that's all they can do. I'm not allowed to leave my room to get supplies and im actually on quarantine so noone can access the room without full PPE

I appreciate the offers for deliveries however they're not allowed to do that here, all deliveries are to the main entrance and I have noone to collect. I've already asked the nurses if there are people available to go down to get me anything and I've been told they're too understaffed.

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:14

Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 10:13

Lots of assumptions here that I'm lazy and pathetic because I've not asked.
Also that I'm refusing to drink the water and being on IV because of that. It's making me dehydrated because adding the juice dries out my mouth, I can't just drink the beachy water because it makes me physically sick making me more dehydrated. I've been told by nurses I'm on IV whether I drink or not.

Ive asked the hospital for everything they can supply and that's all they can do. I'm not allowed to leave my room to get supplies and im actually on quarantine so noone can access the room without full PPE

I appreciate the offers for deliveries however they're not allowed to do that here, all deliveries are to the main entrance and I have noone to collect. I've already asked the nurses if there are people available to go down to get me anything and I've been told they're too understaffed.

Then you need to contact pals as their not meeting your basic needs.

Kelly51 · 10/08/2024 10:16

I'd question the deliveries, my local
hospital reduce deliveries to reception and amazon and evri go to the wards.
Can your DH not drop a bag to the ward but not come to see you? I'm sure he could manage that.

chattyness · 10/08/2024 10:21

maybe your op could make a parcel up and send it by courier get him to hide some cash inside with your sanitary items for you to use then it would be collected from your home and delivered to you? Don't take it the wrong way ,just trying to think of some solutions to help you through this.

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 10:21

Kelly51 · 10/08/2024 10:16

I'd question the deliveries, my local
hospital reduce deliveries to reception and amazon and evri go to the wards.
Can your DH not drop a bag to the ward but not come to see you? I'm sure he could manage that.

He's looking at tomorrow for that it's just with both him and my daughter throwing up it's too much of a risk to get in the car. Their bug seems to be calming down, he said to be safe it might have to be Monday after work he can come see me now.

Also I've had directly for help for someone to come and they're just not saying yes or no, more of a "we're not sure if we can come but can see what we can do if husband really can't"

OP posts:
Zonder · 10/08/2024 10:22

Do you have any other family around at all?

Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:22

So you need a gown, hospital pants, sanitary products, toothbrush, toothpaste, towel and shampoo. So which of these specific things are they refusing to provide? Are you clearly stating these things when you spoke to them or are you talking about clothes and bottles water as that's completely different if their not providing the initial list which is the basics and refusing to get them then you need to call pals now. I'm surprised the staff want to change bedding multiple times a day to change your sheets from period blood then get you pads from the supply cupboard

JoyousPinkPeer · 10/08/2024 10:24

Your husband can arrange to drop your bag at the door and for somebody to collect it and bring it to you.
Also most hospitals have volunteers who will go and get drinks etc.
Ask the ward staff - tell them the problem and ask for a solution.

WhatNoRaisins · 10/08/2024 10:29

I get what you mean about the chlorinated water. I remember drinking it on holiday in a hot country and feeling worse the more I drank.

I think some hospitals are quite old fashioned and assume that all patients have local friends and family. Agree with PP, I'd speak to PALS and see what options there are for accessing supplies.

Mumandcarer80 · 10/08/2024 10:30

OP when I've been stuck in with DD and nobody can bring us anything. She's severely disabled so can't be left. I have washed clothes with hand wash and hung them up to dry overnight. It's so stuffy in there the windows are usually open. It's better than having dirty knickers.

MissMoneyFairy · 10/08/2024 10:30

You can use the hospital toiletries and armies, I'd ring PALs and see if they can arrange to have bottled water sent up either from the canteen or the shop. Hope you all feel better soon. On this hot weather the ward should be offering frequent drinks, what do you drink at home.

Portfun24 · 10/08/2024 10:32

I'd be replying to the family who aren't saying yes or no wel try to if dh really can't that he really can't he's very unwell and him and dd are vomiting so can you please help me in my time of need by getting my bag he's packed and bringing it in to the hospital so I have my essentials and clean clothes.

chattyness · 10/08/2024 10:33

Mumandcarer80 · 10/08/2024 10:30

OP when I've been stuck in with DD and nobody can bring us anything. She's severely disabled so can't be left. I have washed clothes with hand wash and hung them up to dry overnight. It's so stuffy in there the windows are usually open. It's better than having dirty knickers.

that's what I did, just washed with my soap , rinsed well rolled in a towel which I squeeze and rung to get the excess moisture out then onto the huge radiator as it was still on full blast even though it was summertime

purser25 · 10/08/2024 10:34

If your child has a tummy bug they have to stay away for 48 hours to save passing it on to vulnerable patients sorry

WhatNoRaisins · 10/08/2024 10:34

I know things are hard for the NHS now but expecting people ill enough to be hospitalised to wash out their own underwear in sinks isn't right.

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 10:35

Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:22

So you need a gown, hospital pants, sanitary products, toothbrush, toothpaste, towel and shampoo. So which of these specific things are they refusing to provide? Are you clearly stating these things when you spoke to them or are you talking about clothes and bottles water as that's completely different if their not providing the initial list which is the basics and refusing to get them then you need to call pals now. I'm surprised the staff want to change bedding multiple times a day to change your sheets from period blood then get you pads from the supply cupboard

I have some of that already that I packed and my husband brought me when he was visiting. It's just the clean clothes now. I'm spray with deodorant to mask smells currently and using the hospital knickers.
If it comes to it I think it's just the gown,I've managed to wash my pj bottoms this morning so hoping they dry for tonight.

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:37

WhatNoRaisins · 10/08/2024 10:34

I know things are hard for the NHS now but expecting people ill enough to be hospitalised to wash out their own underwear in sinks isn't right.

This isn't the nhs saying that they supply knickers their not great their one size fits all and really big and puffy but their supplied if people are washing their own that is through choice

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 10:38

chattyness · 10/08/2024 10:33

that's what I did, just washed with my soap , rinsed well rolled in a towel which I squeeze and rung to get the excess moisture out then onto the huge radiator as it was still on full blast even though it was summertime

Show quote history

I don't have a radiator in my room, it's actually very cold in here but I have a high temperature so need to keep cold anyway. I could try hanging over the window but I'm on a high floor and it's windy so it'd just just my luck they'll get blown away

OP posts:
Anonymous2224 · 10/08/2024 10:38

Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:14

Then you need to contact pals as their not meeting your basic needs.

Show quote history

Sorry what basic needs are not being met? She’s being given water which fair enough she doesn’t like the taste but I don’t really like the taste of the water at my mums house it’s very subjective. She’s been given the supplies that they can offer. Presumably that’s a gown, clean bed sheets, access to a toilet, shower, food etc. she is on IV fluids so her dehydration is being treated. And diluting juice may give her a dry mouth but the water/juice is absolutely definitely not what is making her dehydrated. There aren’t just staff hanging about who’s job it is to go and get patients things from the shops. Sometimes in some hospitals there may be volunteers who offer this but it isn’t guaranteed. What plant are people on that they think nurses can just leave the unit, leaving all their other vulnerable patients to go a wander to get a patient some juice of their liking. Has nobody seen the news in the past 15 years?? It’s crap and I feel for the OP but it really isn’t anyone’s fault she hasn’t got visitors, her DH isn’t well and is looking after sick children I doubt he’s having a great time either. Sounds like everyone in their family is going to have a shit time for the next few days but really what can be done here other than just accept it being shit and ride it out for a few days. The OP has her phone and clearly internet, watch some Netflix, listen to some podcasts and wait to be discharged.

Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:38

Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 10:35

I have some of that already that I packed and my husband brought me when he was visiting. It's just the clean clothes now. I'm spray with deodorant to mask smells currently and using the hospital knickers.
If it comes to it I think it's just the gown,I've managed to wash my pj bottoms this morning so hoping they dry for tonight.

Show quote history

So you just need a gown. Hospitals have millions of these so just say can I have a gown please as my clothes are dirty

MissMoneyFairy · 10/08/2024 10:40

Do you need clean clothes if you're in isolation, can you manage with hospital pj or nighties with a gown as a dressing gown.

AlleycatMarie · 10/08/2024 10:41

@Petesdragoness Can’t you just ask for a gown? That’s pretty standard across all hospitals. I lived in one for 6 weeks when I was in hospital! And as for liquids, you won’t dehydrate with IV fluids.

I know it can feel awful when you’re ill and stuck in hospital alone, but just try to hold on to the fact that DH will be well enough to visit you soon.

Best of luck!

Differentstarts · 10/08/2024 10:42

Anonymous2224 · 10/08/2024 10:38

Sorry what basic needs are not being met? She’s being given water which fair enough she doesn’t like the taste but I don’t really like the taste of the water at my mums house it’s very subjective. She’s been given the supplies that they can offer. Presumably that’s a gown, clean bed sheets, access to a toilet, shower, food etc. she is on IV fluids so her dehydration is being treated. And diluting juice may give her a dry mouth but the water/juice is absolutely definitely not what is making her dehydrated. There aren’t just staff hanging about who’s job it is to go and get patients things from the shops. Sometimes in some hospitals there may be volunteers who offer this but it isn’t guaranteed. What plant are people on that they think nurses can just leave the unit, leaving all their other vulnerable patients to go a wander to get a patient some juice of their liking. Has nobody seen the news in the past 15 years?? It’s crap and I feel for the OP but it really isn’t anyone’s fault she hasn’t got visitors, her DH isn’t well and is looking after sick children I doubt he’s having a great time either. Sounds like everyone in their family is going to have a shit time for the next few days but really what can be done here other than just accept it being shit and ride it out for a few days. The OP has her phone and clearly internet, watch some Netflix, listen to some podcasts and wait to be discharged.

Show quote history

That is literally the opposite of what I said . I said if their not supplying her with sanitary products a tooth brush, towels and a gown then she needs to contact pals as iv never known a hospital not supply these things. I specifically said clothes and bottled water isn't a necessity. Op has since said she has all these things so I don't know what she's whinging about. But please learn to read before replying to my post

CherieBabySpliffUp · 10/08/2024 10:42

You said you were liaising with the grandparents in your earlier post, can't they help?

Mumandcarer80 · 10/08/2024 10:42

WhatNoRaisins · 10/08/2024 10:34

I know things are hard for the NHS now but expecting people ill enough to be hospitalised to wash out their own underwear in sinks isn't right.

Not really got an option I know when my DD was on children's in HDU. We asked if they could wash some PJ'S she had been sick on and said they couldn't. They didn't have a washing machine on the ward anymore. They said they could put it in with the bedding laundry. But probably wouldn't get them back as the ward staff don't do the washing.