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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In Hospital and left alone

277 replies

Petesdragoness · 09/08/2024 22:56

The massive message I wrote of course deleted.

I'm in hospital very poorly and did have DH and DD3 visiting bringing fresh water and clothes. Unfortunately they've caught a stomach bug whilst here and now can't help.

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

OP posts:
Inspireme2 · 10/08/2024 06:38

Op
You need to see if the nurses or whoever helps on the ward of you can get some bottled water.
Fresh hosptial clothes as others have suggested.
Send out a text to people or anyone able to help?
No one enjoys being sick in hospital and can become a dark miserable place when your basic needs are not meant.
Hang in their.
Surely someone can help.

FinalInstructionstotheAudience · 10/08/2024 06:40

Demonhunter · 10/08/2024 00:03

Genuinely thought I was the only one thinking this.

Show quote history

No, you weren't!

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 06:40

Please can people not comment on why not well. Regarding IV fluids I've already said I've very unwell and have already been on on fluids for days. I also never said I'm not drinking, I'm probably drinking about 500-700ml water a day. Please can posters comment on the health side of this as I don't want to go into detail.

For those asking where I am, I'm in Yorkshire, but I don't feel comfortable with strangers coming to drop me things noff although the the offers are Very kind.

I've always got some of the ward knickers but they're not very big and I'm on my period. I don't think they offer gowns here unless it's for surgery but I can ask if I'm desperate.

OP posts:
ToffeeForEveryone · 10/08/2024 06:46

Can't your husband pack a bag and get a taxi driver to deliver it to the hospital reception? Put a big note on the outside with your name and ward number and phone number.

Sorry, being in hospital is shit and not having the basics makes it even worse.

Cocomelt · 10/08/2024 06:49

They will definitely have clothes for you. The majority of patients end up in hospital gowns/nighties/pj's for multiple reasons, we have big laundry carts full of clothing, towels and sheets.
They should also have pads for you.

It's not ideal but ask a HCA to snip down the sides of the pants to allow extra room.

chattyness · 10/08/2024 06:51

The last time I was in hospital I was a!one too, my DH could only visit twice due to the distance and friends and family lived much, much further away. We hadn't lived here long so didn't know anyone well enough to ask for help. I went in with nothing by Ambulance so I just asked for the basics of what I needed until my DH could bring me my things a few days later. They provided c!ean gowns, disposable pants, towels, soap, toothpaste & sponge sticks to clean my teeth with. Then once my DH brought my stuff in I just washed my pants in the shower every night and they dried on the huge radiator as it was on full blast who even though it was summer. Just keep asking for help and ice in your jugs of water add cordial to it and drink tea and coffee when they bring the drinks trolley round. If the shop trolley comes round and you can get hold of some lucozade to drink that will help too.When you're hydrated you will think more clearly as dehydration really affects the brain with your perceptions & decision making etc. Hope you get some help and you and your family are better soon.Keep us updated if you can.

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 06:53

Lemia · 09/08/2024 23:52

I hope you feel better soon op. Ask the hospital for paper knickers and clean gowns - they will provide these for you.

i can understand people also being worried about your daughter having a tummy bug- it’s not nice and will be difficult for you dh to look after her if he has a tummy bug too. No doubt you’re also worried about how they’re doing too.

I hope you get the bottom of your health issues soon and you’re on the mend soon. You really do need to drink the water even if you don’t much like the taste though

Some responders here seem to have some idea I'm jealous of my DD attention and I'm not, I'm gutted and worried for them both at home sick. As the primary parents it's usually myself that takes control and instead of sleeping I've been having to video call my DH on how to do a thermometer correctly and show him to monitor their movements and where spare sheets are. I've been moved around a few wards here with some people more unwell than me so initial worry is what have they got.

OP posts:
chattyness · 10/08/2024 06:54

OP, 500-700ml just isn't enough try and drink more you need it especially in hospital

iloveeverykindofcat · 10/08/2024 06:54

You haven't asked for a gown? Just ask! I'm sure they'll give you one.

crackfoxy · 10/08/2024 06:56

CountessWindyBottom · 09/08/2024 23:54

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

@Petesdragoness. What a bizarre thing to say. I understand that you're probably feeling a little miserable but you are an adult. Ask some of the staff to help you with clean clothes and bottled water, it's not that difficult.

You seem resentful that your three year old daughter has stolen the attention away from you. I get that it's not ideal but to be 'upset' that she seems to be the priority is just........strange and extremely childish.

Was thinking same!

ceecee32 · 10/08/2024 06:57

I've spent weeks in hospital with no one to visit. If you are in a room on your own it's easy to rinse clothes through every night and they are dry by morning.
Ask for the

pollyglot · 10/08/2024 06:57

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

This is what you posted, OP...and upon which I based my impressions.

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 06:58

chattyness · 10/08/2024 06:51

The last time I was in hospital I was a!one too, my DH could only visit twice due to the distance and friends and family lived much, much further away. We hadn't lived here long so didn't know anyone well enough to ask for help. I went in with nothing by Ambulance so I just asked for the basics of what I needed until my DH could bring me my things a few days later. They provided c!ean gowns, disposable pants, towels, soap, toothpaste & sponge sticks to clean my teeth with. Then once my DH brought my stuff in I just washed my pants in the shower every night and they dried on the huge radiator as it was on full blast who even though it was summer. Just keep asking for help and ice in your jugs of water add cordial to it and drink tea and coffee when they bring the drinks trolley round. If the shop trolley comes round and you can get hold of some lucozade to drink that will help too.When you're hydrated you will think more clearly as dehydration really affects the brain with your perceptions & decision making etc. Hope you get some help and you and your family are better soon.Keep us updated if you can.

A shop trolley sounds fancy, we don't have that here. If love that. There's not even any water coolers or vending machines near my ward. I have no cash on me either so can't send anyone.
I've been doing some of the the above too with what's available.

I do think some people here forget there are different standards across trusts and even wards on whats available.

OP posts:
ceecee32 · 10/08/2024 06:59

Sorry pressed post by mistake......ask for the ward housekeeper, they have done washing for me and have got one of the hca staff to go to the shop for supplies

TookTheBook · 10/08/2024 07:06

Why on earth is your DH asking you to parent from your hospital bed?! Yes he's got a bug, but he needs to use his initiative and contact friends and family now with silly questions like how does a thermometer work. You need to focus on rest and getting better. I'd be pissed off at that

Neveragain8102 · 10/08/2024 07:07

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/08/2024 00:23

Thanks for saying what several of us were thinking.

I often wonder why when people say they have "no friends".

Show quote history

What an unpleasant thing to say.

Nightowl1234 · 10/08/2024 07:07

@Petesdragoness have you asked for a gown and disposable underwear yet? I’m sure they have pads etc too. Just press the buzzer and ask. The poster who suggested your husband send a bag in a taxi made a great recommendation. Have you considered that?

cunoyerjudowel · 10/08/2024 07:07

I think you are poorly and it's understandably making you miserable, that on top of your dd being poorly and you wearing unclean clothes and not liking the water.

However, there are solutions that have been suggested-
Hospitals often have paper pants etc and you could wear and change them
Asking for cordial and ice etc
Hospital shop may let you Apple Pay if you can ask perhaps someone to take you

Also hospitals may have a stash of emergency donated clothing (usually second hand clean clothes) you can enquire

You can't be angry at people for not helping unless you know exactly what they have got on etc
Loads of people who work in the emergency for example have had their shifts extended and days off cancelled due to the recent disorder
Lots of people do not feel safe going into a city (where most hospitals are based) due to the current situation also
And family lives etc etc

It's crap, I have been in your position with no clothes and a very poorly baby as she threw up on all of my clothes and luckily my friend bought some in and did my washing
(Which was a god send)

Could you do an Amazon delivery to the hospital? Or a Deliveroo of food?

cunoyerjudowel · 10/08/2024 07:08

Food shop Deliveroo

Original poster
Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 07:09

pollyglot · 10/08/2024 06:57

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

This is what you posted, OP...and upon which I based my impressions.

Fair enough, I've probably not worded that well, I'd written a big post which deleted and I was very medicated.
It was more of an upset about the situation, I was having to liaise between grandparents and DH when really I just needed them to sort it.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 10/08/2024 07:10

Sorry to hear you’re unwell in hospital. That really is bad unfortunate your DH and DD are unwell. Not easy looking after a poorly child when you’re poorly yourself, and you also poorly that’s a very stressful situation. Can you have a chat with one of the nurses, hospitals have volunteers though not sure if they are allowed to go to the shop for someone, but they might do it discreetly. Get well soon

Hairyfairy01 · 10/08/2024 07:10

So have you asked the staff for a gown yet OP?

cunoyerjudowel · 10/08/2024 07:11

Regarding drinking unless you are physically unable to, you need to drink the water or you are actually purposely making yourself worse and prolonging your stay.

Similar to being told you must elevate your leg but it's un comfy so you put it down, I have been in many situations (career wise) where I have had to drink water which tasted awful but you do it to hydrate and survive.
Think of it as you way of helping to solve the situation

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 10/08/2024 07:19

Being unwell in hospital is a scary place to be. I was a long term patient many years ago (placenta praevia) and was on absolute bed rest. Couldn’t even shower.

I agree with pp about making friends with HCAs. They were a godsend.

I was on a ward with 3 others - long termers and we made friends. Had takeaways when we didn’t have the hospital food. Only our dhs were allowed to visit & would bring supplies in. But we would ask the staff if we needed anything.

It’s tough but you will get through it. 💐

chattyness · 10/08/2024 07:19

Petesdragoness · 10/08/2024 06:58

A shop trolley sounds fancy, we don't have that here. If love that. There's not even any water coolers or vending machines near my ward. I have no cash on me either so can't send anyone.
I've been doing some of the the above too with what's available.

I do think some people here forget there are different standards across trusts and even wards on whats available.

Show quote history

It wasn't fancy just a little trolley on wheels with things like juices pop sweets crisps, newspaper and magazines, stocked from the main hospital shop and run by kind volunteers, I guess they must have stopped them when Covid is came along of course.I didn't have any cash for the first few days of my stay either, rotten isn't it, please try and drink more water with the ice, keep pressing your call button and asking for help they are there to care for you, iced water won't taste as bad and it will help x