In Hospital and left alone

[Petesdragoness]

The massive message I wrote of course deleted.

I'm in hospital very poorly and did have DH and DD3 visiting bringing fresh water and clothes. Unfortunately they've caught a stomach bug whilst here and now can't help.

Feeling very upset that people around me are more bothered about my DD than the fact that I'm hospital with no clean clothes, and no end in sight to getting better.

Really? DH was helicoptered to a major hospital 200 miles away with an aneurysm that had been misdiagnosed, while I had covid. He was all by himself undergoing major surgery following several days of being unsure whether he was going to die or lose his leg as a "best-case scenario". He just had to put up with the hospital's offerings. He didn't even have a functional phone, toothbrush,slippers, PJs, as he had been flown, in gardening clothes and minus everything with a potential death sentence hanging over his head. I couldn't visit, we knew nobody in the city, and he's not even from this country. All his family are overseas. Pull yourself together FFS.

A couple of years ago I was in hospital for 3 months after collapsing at home, I couldn't sit up, never mind walk and had nothing and no-one. I wore a pink hospital nightie which was changed everyday following a bed bath and because I was completely bed bound had to use continence pads, not a pleasant experience but better than the alternative! The hospital provided things like a toothbrush and toothpaste and a brush and comb. The water was not terribly pleasant but I used to get the little cartons of orange juice with meals and mix them 50/50. One of the HCAs used to smuggle extra cartons for me. (I recommend making friends with the HCAs as they will help you out no end). If you are hydrated having the fresh orange juice and water is better anyway. I did end up on an IV drip but because I was so bad they couldn't find a vein to put in a cannula so I had a picc line. I was eventually discharged as medically fit (still couldn't sit up or walk) and ended up in a care home for the next 20 months. If you think hospital is bad you really don't want to end up in a care home.

After nearly 2 years of all sorts of hell, and having to teach myself to walk, I left a month ago and moved far, far away and it all seems like a bad dream now, I'm just waiting for Bobby Ewing to walk out of the shower, (reference for those of us of a certain age).

It seems like shit at the time and as if there will be no end to it. To put it into context, when I went in to hospital Johnson was PM and we had a queen, then there was Truss and the queen died and we got a king, then Truss went and we got Sunak. It was a hell of a lot to pack into 3 months even without being ill. That catalogue of disasters makes War and Peace look like a 500 word essay.

I got out of it okay in the end and you will too. In a week or so you will wonder what all the fuss was about.

@VeryHappyBunny what was wrong?? That sounds like hell losing so much time

if OP posted a general area can anyone on MN help her out? Can you DM on MN?! 🤔

I used to work as a HCA on a hospital ward - you could ask one of the staff there (especially evening/night when it's quieter), if they could pop to the shop/vending machine for you to get you water. We were allowed to do it using the patients money (cash) as long as we got a receipt. There are also normally water coolers dotted around too which they could potentially get you some water from, I used to have to go to a different ward to get that but would do it for patients who asked in any downtime that I had

Hi OP,

Healthcare assistant here.... Being in hospital can be extremely lonely & difficult. Please speak to the staff.

If you're bed-bound then you should be offered assistance daily with washes.
The hospital will also be able to give you a gown/nightie/pj's, as well as whatever pants/socks they stock.

If you aren't being offered these things then please speak up. (Although you should be being offered these anyway)

Regarding water, ask the staff if they can fill you a jug up from the water cooler instead of the tap :)

I hope you're feeling better soon and hopefully DH & DD will be able to bisit again soon.

"Good Morning" and that lovely smile....

The abridged version is that after caring for my Mum for 15 years she died and, looking back, I had a bit of a breakdown. I managed to feed and look after the cats and rabbit but not myself. I collapsed and was taken to hospital after the fire brigade broke in and the paramedics got to me. I had sepsis and pneumonia, not the best combination. I had a succession of TIAs, a massive internal haemorrhage and apparently mild depression. No shit Sherlock, who'd have thought I might have got a bit depressed. I was on various different wards and had a selection of tests and treatments including MRIs and CT scans and a few X rays. I am probably qualified to do a report on trip advisor. Oh, there's probably a heart problem as well, they just don't know what it is yet and I forgot to mention that as I had got down to 6 1/2 stone (usually about 11 ish) I also had the start of liver and kidney damage and also nerve damage in the top of my right arm so that doesn't work properly now. They would have operated while I was in hospital, but apparently I was "too frail" and wouldn't have survived the anaesthetic! I've never been described as frail before, more solid and sturdy.

The care home debacle is a whole other story.

But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so I by the time I am fully recovered I will be like Charles Atlas.

At the time so much stuff was crap, but a lot of it I can laugh about now.

I have a different attitude towards life now and believe that nothing is insurmountable. You can overcome all sorts of things and you are definitely stronger than you think you are. Not only is the glass half full, the bar keeper is coming over to top it right up.

Can you order water through Uber eats or Deliveroo?

Have you text a family member and asked if they can drop off what you need? Even if they don’t have time to stay? I know it’s crap when people don’t offer but just ask for what you need!

Yes - people are allowed to feel sorry for themselves while in hospital you know. We're not all martyrs to our children

New NHS low - when you have to uber eats in water 😭

nobody needs to order water, there is water provided

Could your DH leave you some replacement clothes with either reception or the porters desk to give to you? That way he won't pass on the bug.

I'm assuming the dehydration is to blame for the OP's views. There are solutions but when you are at that level of self pity, you don't really see the wood for the trees.

Don't waste your time - the OP is determined to feel miserable and take the passive aggressive route

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the tap water. OP is unwell and this may be affecting her taste buds. Antibiotics can sometimes do this too. Most wards have cordial ( orange and lemon generally ) that patients can add.

It is laughable that some people think the NHS should be providing bottled water . It is not a hotel!

So message or call them and say "I'm wearing shit stained knickers, please bring me more. And I need some bottled water because this stuff is making me ill. Visiting is X time, see you then'.

Oh come on, she is in hospital feeling miserable and she is now going to wake up and read your message.
Obviously, in a rational state people realise it is best to suck it up and drink the hospital water but when you feel like crap anyway the small details make a huge difference!
She is lonely, not feeling as fresh and clean as normal and has more time to focus on these things (anyone who has ever worked in a nursing home will know about the random complaints OAPs make on the daily, they have nothing else to worry about!)
I wish OP a speedy recovery.

Me too! Pretty odd

Me too.

What a brilliant resolution - congratulations on your recovery. I sort of know what you mean, I've survived cardiac arrest from positional asphyxia, was clinically dead for 3 minutes, and though when I was revived I was remarkably well considering and recovered pretty damn fast, I genuinely have a different attitude to life now. My friend and I have a joke: "What's the worst that can happen? I die? Already done it!"

OP it seems your immediate concerns should be to drink the water even if it tastes bad, and get a change of clothes. Do you not have a hospital gown? Can't you ask for one? I think people are going to be concerned about a small child picking up a virus in a hospital to be honest.....they know you are being monitored and in a place to get help if you get worse.

You can get a nightie and net pants from the staff and if you are having some continence issues they can give you even the smaller pads to make you more comfortable. Just let them know what's going on and how you are feeling.

Crikey, this is a quick case of learnt helplessness OP. Kindly, you need to be a little more proactive here. The hospital will provide you with a clean hospital gown, netty knickers and pad if you ask. The water won't kill you, you are already better off than most in that you have ribenna to make it taste nicer. You could also drink the tea, coffee and orange juice I suspect you are being offered regularly by nursing staff. You also have a charged phone and the ability to use it. You can order stuff to be delivered to the ward you know? Clothes, drink etc. Just make sure it can fit into your locker. Maybe once you feel better you could help volunteer in the hospital or a local care home? So many people go without any visitors at all. I hope you feel better soon.

Can you afford to order some cheap stuff on amazon ?? That's what I did a while ago when I had literally nothing in hospital and resorted to wrapping myself in a sheet 🤣🤣🤣🙄