Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think life with one child looks soooo easy

308 replies

justwonderingreally2 · 09/08/2024 15:09

It’s such a stupid thread as I love my children so don’t want to give one up but my god on the very very very rare occasion I only have one it feels so easy.

All my friends only have one and it’s so calm. Going on holiday soon, everyone else has one child, I have two. I’m stressed already.

Does anyone else ever think this?

OP posts:
Cheepcheepcheep · 09/08/2024 15:13

It felt stressful when I had one. It feels stressful now I have two. From memory, life felt stressful before kids, even though I can’t imagine why - what was I stressed about, getting a bottomless brunch booking sorted? 😂

Point is, it’s all relative. Your stress fits into the box you allow it into. When you have two there are things you stress less about, simply because there isn’t space in the day/brain to consider it. But if you had one you probably would let that stress in. Focus on giving less of yourself to stress, rather than eliminating it, because it isn’t going to happen!

Just be relieved you don’t have 3 and enjoy your holiday :)

newleafontheplantjohn · 09/08/2024 15:14

Yes.

On the flip side, it often looks very boring / lonely for the kid.

I have two kids and it can be a nightmare sometimes. But I am very glad they have each other.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/08/2024 15:14

I have 3 and I feel like that about people who only have 2…! 😊

SweetLining · 09/08/2024 15:15

There are pros and cons to all numbers. I have one, and yes it is calm and that calmness is one of the reasons I chose to have just one. However, there are cons - she doesn't automatically have someone to play with so I spend much more effort arranging social things for her, for example (she is still too young to arrange her own social life).

InfoSecInTheCity · 09/08/2024 15:17

It's that whole 'grass is always greener' thing.

I have 1 and look at people who have 2 or more and see the kids playing either each other and having fun. That seems easier when I'm trying to manufacture play dates and activities to give her the opportunity to be with other people.

Pros and Cons of each situation.

Singleandproud · 09/08/2024 15:18

I have one, she's in her mid teens. Life is easy, she's very well behaved but there aren't many giggles or silliness in our house. Trips to the park and similar are well behind me now. She goes to the cinema with her friends etc.

Original poster
justwonderingreally2 · 09/08/2024 15:18

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/08/2024 15:14

I have 3 and I feel like that about people who only have 2…! 😊

I do wonder if I had another if I’d think that! 😂

@Cheepcheepcheep totally, I have to admit I found the days looong when I had DS, then I had DD and suddenly the days when I ‘just’ had a baby felt so short and quick … strange isn’t it?

@SweetLining not sure mine ‘play’ so much as ‘bicker / steal / squabble’ 😅

OP posts:
Scorchio84 · 09/08/2024 15:19

newleafontheplantjohn · 09/08/2024 15:14

Yes.

On the flip side, it often looks very boring / lonely for the kid.

I have two kids and it can be a nightmare sometimes. But I am very glad they have each other.

well that makes me feel like shit...

Bosabosa · 09/08/2024 15:20

Yes, I think my child gets lonely at times as is very social so lots of time goes into organising activities with other kids. I couldn't have had more though, can barely cope with one! (Have two lovely adult step kids who love their sibling, but they are not totally up for playing non stop 😉)

PeatandDieselfan · 09/08/2024 15:20

I don't agree. All the people I know who have only 1 massively over-complicate things. Basically, if you don't have a 2nd one, you never get out of the PFB stage.

Juyjuly32 · 09/08/2024 15:21

Are you a single parent? How old are your kids?. Comparison is the their of joy!

I don't think you can always judge. I'm a single parent to an extremely active child. Our house is never boring he's quite a bubbly character and he's always on the go! We holiday just the 2 of us every year! Life is what you make it!.

Jazzjazzyjulez · 09/08/2024 15:23

I have one and I have to say, having two looks so stressful.

As someone who came from a family with multiple, I don't buy the always having someone to play with things - we bickered and fought way more than we played.

I honestly think to myself all the time how much I love having one kid - she gets so much of our time and attention. I don't know how I would split like that with another. I also like that when we need a break it is very easy to hand over control to the my partner. No need to divide and conquer as they say.

Different things suit different people, I guess but my life is definitely much less stressful than my friends with multiples!

Longdueachange · 09/08/2024 15:24

I liked having two, as there was always a playmate or someone to aggravate! It took the pressure off me a little to entertain as I could supervise whilst doing my usual jobs. Whatever your situation has its pros and cons. I did used to miss the one on one time with my eldest.

Original poster
justwonderingreally2 · 09/08/2024 15:24

I’m not a single parent but I am on my own a lot with them due to DH work and they are only little (3 and 13 months.)

OP posts:
bookworm14 · 09/08/2024 15:24

Basically, if you don't have a 2nd one, you never get out of the PFB stage.

The thread has been up for 10 minutes and we already have negative stereotyping of one-child families. Is this some kind of record?

nomchonge1 · 09/08/2024 15:24

Scorchio84 · 09/08/2024 15:19

well that makes me feel like shit...

Show quote history

Dont let it - its a narrow minded and ignorant thing to say..

Scorchio84 · 09/08/2024 15:25

PeatandDieselfan · 09/08/2024 15:20

I don't agree. All the people I know who have only 1 massively over-complicate things. Basically, if you don't have a 2nd one, you never get out of the PFB stage.

Is this a joke?

sunshineandshowers40 · 09/08/2024 15:25

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/08/2024 15:14

I have 3 and I feel like that about people who only have 2…! 😊

I feel the same!

DoubleCoatedDogs · 09/08/2024 15:25

PeatandDieselfan · 09/08/2024 15:20

I don't agree. All the people I know who have only 1 massively over-complicate things. Basically, if you don't have a 2nd one, you never get out of the PFB stage.

What a load of bollocks. 🙄

OchreShoes · 09/08/2024 15:26

PeatandDieselfan · 09/08/2024 15:20

I don't agree. All the people I know who have only 1 massively over-complicate things. Basically, if you don't have a 2nd one, you never get out of the PFB stage.

I do agree a little with this.

I have three adult children and although sometimes it was hard going, i would not want to miss the lovely adult relationships they have between them for anything.

There have been times I've thought back on their childhood and wondered if it would have been simpler if they could have been rolled into one.

TwistedSisters · 09/08/2024 15:27

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/08/2024 15:14

I have 3 and I feel like that about people who only have 2…! 😊

Absolutely this 😂

Scorchio84 · 09/08/2024 15:27

@nomchonge1 thanks jesus like there's enough guilt involved in being a single parent & working & now this is a thing

haplessharpy · 09/08/2024 15:27

I've got 5. I couldn't even remember a time when I wasn't spinning plates and feeling stressed....until today. I'm currently sitting in a beer garden in the sunshine drinking a beer whilst DD age 8 colours with the pubs crayons opposite me. This never happens and my God, it's bliss. So easy and relaxed.

But having said that I wouldn't change a thing. I'd still have had five given my time again.

JoalGk · 09/08/2024 15:28

Depends on the child! One of mine needs loads of attention at home but is super easy out of the house. The other is super easy at home and never gets bored but is harder to take out in public.

TokyoSushi · 09/08/2024 15:29

PeatandDieselfan · 09/08/2024 15:20

I don't agree. All the people I know who have only 1 massively over-complicate things. Basically, if you don't have a 2nd one, you never get out of the PFB stage.

Yes I agree with this. I'm an only one and I have two. A lot of the people that I know with one really over complicate things and often it can look more difficult than my 2!