To think is over generous gift of money for a wedding present?

[PrueHal]

I've noticed since day one my partner is very generous with money. From early on he bought me expensive jewellery to my embarrassment, bought gifts for friends and family and used the phrase 'it's just money'. He earns 15k more than me and doing well though not loaded.

He's at a family wedding by himself (I have very good reasons for being unable to go) and as he didn't have time to pick from their gift list he tells me is giving them money - £1000!

AIBU to find this insane? And to think the bride and groom really won't expect it? I find myself thinking about the future and how I'd really not ever want to spend that on a wedding gift if we were, say, married. He is so generous but it's too much sometimes.

When my husband and I started dating he gave his friends daughter £250 for her 18th birthday. We’d only been dating about 5 months but lived together and I was like woah that’s a lot of money to gift to a child you don’t ever see and his friend has 5 more children! He didn’t think it was a lot at the time but after milking it over he said he should’ve considered talking to me about it as we share all the bills etc and has never done it again since. We talk about all of our expenses and if we’re thinking of buying something over £50 we will drop a message about it just to see if it’s worth it. We both earn a very good wage but I like to be sensible with money and he’s not that great with it. So he likes that I help keep a lid on his spending and he helps me be more relaxed. It’s a team effort

Obviously, different people earn different amounts of money, and can or can't afford lavish gifts, and I usually say each to their own.
But looking at what the op has said about her partner gifting a cousin £1k, it makes me wonder whether he's trying to buy their affections.
In contrast, when my sister got married, I gave her £30, and I was her MoH.

100 quid is fine. A grand? Insane.

This isn’t about the wedding, OP is concerned about his general attitude to money, I’m not tight, but savvy.

My DH is quite frankly clueless about money, I run the household. Does your fella know how to pay bills, etc?

Flipping ‘eck, £100 is cheap?! I hope to god I don’t get invited to any weddings, I can’t afford it is £100 is considered tight!! 😬

I've read some bollocks on this site over the years but this thread is right up near the top!!! It's like when you say you're going to Tenerife and your Billy Bullshit mate says, well I'm going to Elevenerife....

£100 per person is just enough. Per couple is not enough and if that's what you give when invited to a wedding, you might take a look at yourself

We usually give £50 - I wasn't aware we had to cover the price of our meal... We don't have £100 spare unfortunately for gifts as I'm sure many families don't either

Wedding etiquette realistically you should cover the cost of your meal plus extra as a gift.
People on here having you think that £50 per person is enough, are wrong, and you would be viewed as stingy.
There are wedding gift calculators, that most of these people should probably take look at

Lol - you must move in very different circles to me @Twinkletoes127 I was happy with the company of my friends and family at my wedding - I can't remember what anyone gave as an individual present.

This is completely normal in my circle of friends, £50 per couple was the amount that most guests gave at our wedding.
’Paying for your plate’ is something I’ve heard of in other cultures but not in the UK. I never once expected people to cover their cost at my wedding! MN is a completely different world sometimes…

What a waste of money. Better off donating to a homeless shelter, food bank etc

It's very generous of him but I personally find it a little vulgar. Definitely not necessary. Obviously there are worse traits he could have but I would try and get him to reign it in a bit if I was his partner tbh.