DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

What that Labour councillor said was disgusting and should absolutely be condemned. Inciting violence is always wrong, no matter which side you are on. I trust that he will feel the full force of the law like anyone else.

This is completely unacceptable and indefensible. Violence is not okay.

It’s not okay to riot and attack others based upon their skin colour and race, and it’s not okay for the retaliation of that to be inciting violence.

Neither is acceptable. I imagine that man will be out of a job.

Let’s not forget willing to align themselves with any political party just to get into government. The Lib Dems were in coalition with the Tories from 2010 and allowed Cameron/Osborne to get away with trashing the country with austerity which was neither needed, nor voted for - political choice and ideology dressed up as necessary to deal with the previous governments’ profligacy. That austerity laid waste to parts of the UK and the effects have been felt in those places ever since - some have never recovered.

Rachel Reeves clearly indicated last week that there will be more of the same from Labour. So the people who voted Labour hoping for change will be hung out to dry yet again. When does it stop ? When does government actually start investing in people instead of kow towing to big business like the Tories, and the unions, as with Labour ?

He was immediately suspended from Labour and has since been arrested, so yes, he will.

Why’s it rude or sarcastic? I absolutely accept it’s her prerogative to cut them out of her life on the basis of their political views if that’s how she feels. I don’t think it’s how most people handle relationships and I l think it’s a pretty extreme stance but I accept it’s her choice.
I also didn’t say what was intolerant was not wanting a relationship with someone based on their voting choices. What I said was “The fact you think someone must be a shitty human being based solely on who they vote for really does suggest a degree of intolerance”. That’s not about boundaries in a relationship it’s about making some pretty sweeping judgements about people based on simplistic criteria.

Really interesting points in this interview- my main takeaway need to address genuine poverty and lack of opportunity in locations of significant riots, as this is what causes people to buy into far right ideology.
And if we don't (which is likely once jail sentences are handed out and Gvt says job done) then it's just storing up more problems for the future...

Wow. Just wow. He’s a loving husband and father who has some level of sympathy for the anger of part of our country. Would you say the same if he equally held the same view for the Palestine protestors who had an entire Jewish community in fear for months on end? You have an alarming lack of tolerance for any views apart for your own. Imagine leaving your partner and co-parent for that. You are a root cause of intolerance and anger.

I voted Labour. I don’t feel hung out to dry. Yes, I’d like them to say austerity doesn’t work and isn’t a choice they will make but since they didn’t say it before the election I don’t expect them to do so now. I am, however, confident that they will be better for ordinary people than the alternatives. Give them t8me. There’s a hell of a mess to sort (and, as per OBR saying they hadn’t been given correct info by the Tories I’m not convinced there’s not still more lies and corruption to uncover).

I agree.

Your way or the high way? - you are clearly the opposite of a very tolerant and inclusive person who respects diversity of views. Such a binary view point only causes more division. You would rather leave your life partner and father of children than discuss, educate or understand. Pathetic and embarrassing.

Okay, if you insist that your last paragraph wasn’t sarcastic and rude then I accept that, but it read that way to me.

And she may truly feel that anyone who votes Reform is a shitty person - if she links Reform with racism, then she may link any voter with accepting and allowing racism and that makes them a shitty person. Same for people who think those who watch porn are shitty people or support trans rights - because in their view, watching porn supports the abuse of woman and supporting certain trans rights supports the control of women - to those people, by watching or supporting (aka voting) those things you are accepting/supporting the underlying issues (aka racism) . It’s not necessarily about the vote that is cast, but what that vote represents.

I don’t think that makes her intolerant or extreme. It wouldn’t necessarily be my personal view without having a conversation with someone first, but she clearly has more defined boundaries than me.

She’s not saying someone can’t hold the views. Just that the consequence would be that she wouldn’t want to spend time with them if they did. Respecting diversity of views doesn’t mean you have to spend time with those whose views you find abhorrent.

I’d agree with you if you were comparing like with like but voting Reform and banging in about immigration is outside the normal range of political difference.

If my DH expressed antisemitic views, then yes, absolutely, I would be packing my bags as well. I abhor racism in all its forms. If he expressed concern about the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent civilians in Gaza, then I would share his concerns.

Choosing not to accept and condone prejudice and bigotry of any flavour really is not the root cause of intolerance and anger. You can try to make that argument but you will fail.

People have valid reasons for being angry. Nobody has a valid reason for taking that anger out on innocent people.

Ahh you are on the extreme left? You don't allow debate. People are angry and because they are never allowed to debate this is the result.

Why does she have to stay with someone whose views she doesn’t agree with? Why is it her job to educate someone? She isn’t saying he has to change, she is saying if it were her then it would signify the end of the relationship.

Why are you so intolerant of other people’s feelings and opinions on what they want and deem acceptable in a Relationship?

Why are so many people throwing around the word intolerant whilst simultaneously not respecting other people’s views?

….

Terminology like this makes people like me ( born, raised and proud to be British to Pakistani parents) like the 'other'

Suspect this was posted in bad faith anyway.

Racism isn’t up for debate. ‘Extreme left’. Ffs. You don’t have to be extreme left, or left at all, to recognise racism is wrong. To think it’s debatable means you must be very extreme right.

The issue with is with your government. You’ve just had the Conservatives in power for a long time - they are not left wing - so therefore it cannot be that left wing ‘control’ has led to this, can it?

You need to redirect your anger.

I’m a socialist and welcome debate and conversation about all of these issues and haven’t denied that we’re getting things wrong in certain areas. On another thread and I gave a right wing poster who Supported the riots some ideas about how she could affect change. She ignored them all because they actually involved getting off her arse and getting involved in her community and local politics and continued to say basic things like ‘stop the boats’ online.

Rioting, violence etc are never acceptable. But this hasn’t simply sprouted up because ‘left wing’ people haven’t allowed debate. We aren’t even a majority left wing country so that makes no sense. We have had this discussion for years - under a Tory government. If anything, it’s right wing politics that has let you and your views down.

This idea that left wing people are so intolerant it is the cause of right wing violence is utterly ridiculous. Right wing intolerance to other people in general has been rife for hundreds of years.

I wouldn’t say discussing immigration is outside the normal range of political difference - it’s very relevant. And there are 4m people who voted for Reform who would probably disagree about that too. The main political parties need to understand that in parts of the country that are deprived and neglected by successive governments people are much more likely to buy into the far right ideology of parties like Reform because they feel that they have no voice. Hence the rioting. If Reform are to be nipped in the bud, then government need to start listening to those who have legitimate concerns, not condemning them all as right wing thugs and promising jail. Rioting is no solution and absolutely no excuse but trying to pretend the problems that cause unrest don’t exist won’t solve anything.

Racism? People voting for Reform and wanting to talk about immigration are racist? I am sick of hearing this. Its just not true.

Does he watch a lot of GB News or something by chance?

?? As opposed to watching a lot of BBC news?