DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

Reform got 14% vote share, more than Lib Dem double Green and nearly half of what labour got. I saw on a Mumsnet general election poll the night before the election that 12% of mumsnetters were voting reform, so more than 1 in 10 reading this thread probably voted for them. It's just worth putting this into perspective when people talk about the reform party like they are a radical party.
The popularity shocked me. Clearly there are a lot of people in the country that are desperate for change and it's important to understand why. I wouldn't write someone off for voting for them. I would assume, (if they were otherwise a nice person) that they had valid reasons for their views.
(Disclaimer, I don't support the riots, and I didnt vote reform!)

Because we don’t know what would be in the British Act for a kick off. Plus have you seen who doesn’t recognise the ECHR. Brilliant company why are you so keen to give up your rights to the whims of a limited company? Not very democratic…

My DH "understands" why they are rioting and can explain it. This doesn't mean he agrees with what they are doing or their reasons.

I don't believe they are. I believe the press like they do with every public figure, grab a soundbite and post it out of context to sell more papers, gain more viewers.

If any of the current Reform MP's does make racist comments or tries to pass a bill against British values, he will of course be held accountable in the commons and be voted against in any resulting vote. That's how democracy works.

Just shouting racist at anyone who doesn't fit your narrow minded view is unfair and showing far more prejudice than anyone.

Can he explain it to me then? Because I don’t.

Well, you might not think that there is a fundamental difference in values but I categorically disagree.

As for the weirdly patronising "reminder" that my DH has a right to his own views, well yes of course, but that doesn't mean that I'm required to stay in a relationship with him I decide that I can no longer tolerate his value system. And the strange "threat" that he might leave me and take my dc with him? Not sure if I'm supposed to be scared by this as if the thought that DH could have standards of his own had never even occurred to me, but of course, DH would be completely free to leave me if he felt that our values no longer aligned, and I would fully respect that choice. Our dc is an adult and would no doubt make her own decisions.

The misogyny you say. See this was the massive problem with the Labour party that made me seriously question why I should give them my vote. The way female MPs like Rosie Duffield were treated for example.

A note about Reform; two of their own candidates left saying they were racist and sexist. I think this speaks loudly to me.

https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/jul/02/second-reform-candidate-quits-over-racism-and-misogyny

Because we don’t know what would be in the British Act for a kick off.

And again this is why we have a democratic system in place to pass or change laws.

That’s not how it works. If Reform had a majority they could enact any law they wanted. We don’t have a vote on each one.

Anyone who thinks Reform isn't racist is either in denial or in need of educating themselves about what racism is. However, I suspect that most probably do know it's racist but don't want to admit it.

I don't know why they don't just own it tbh.

My apologies it was a collective 'You'. As in everyone else in the same position, even the OP who I don't know what family they may have.

Same.

"Because they don't have any money. They want change. They're blaming immigrants for the lack of money that's present. And then in the far reaches, you get the wackos who just want to start a fight. Most of them do have a valid reason to be upset -- just not with the immigrants who have somehow become the focuspoint for their anger. The immigrants are not at fault."

Was his "in my opinion" reply. He is currently eating chocolate whilst watching TV...

Yeah…no…that’s not an explanation. It’s nonsense.

I do agree there is also misogyny in the labour party but nowhere near the same level. Look at the statistics for how many female candidates were selected for the reform party proportionately in comparison to other parties.

You clearly have no idea of how laws come into being.

An MP puts a bill before parliament. They discuss, adjust and have a vote on it. Now if enough of those MP's (you know the people democratically elected to represent you) vote to pass it, it then goes to the Lords and goes through the same process. Sometimes being sent back to the commons for revision and back through the same process. Only when both houses have agreed does it get Royal assent and become law.

Yes, thanks for that. And if a party has a majority they can get what they want. You know, democratically.

Edited to say: how can someone so lacking in political knowledge they don’t know Reform are racist be so condescending as to try to tell someone else anything about parliamentary process…

Edited again - it’s rarely ‘an MP’ that puts a Bill before Parliament.

Go re-read what I said. The commons has to get approval from the Lords. Now if enough of the population democratically elected a party with a large enough majority to enact any law something like is being discussed, then that meant that the majority of the public wanted it to come into being. That is how democratic process works. It matters none if you like it or not.

If you're going to try and patronise other posters, best to ensure that you know what you're talking about first.

A governing party with a majority in the House of Commons can pass any law they like, as long as their own MPs don't rebel. Yes, it might get kicked around in the Lords a bit first, but the elected House ultimately decides. Of course, there could be legal challenges after that, but as we saw with the last Tory government, there are even ways around those if the governing party chooses not to respect the decisions of the courts - they can just pass new laws to bypass them.

Edited again - it’s rarely ‘an MP’ that puts a Bill before Parliament.

You really are begining to show some real ignorance of how this Country works.

Oh the irony!!!😅

How many times in the past 100 years have been enacted without Royal Assent. Which is what you are talking about I presume.

The courts have always been test beds for new laws/acts. With ammendments being made constantly. There is nothing stopping anyone from making legal challenges on laws, including you.

If the ruling party has enough MP's to pass it, that generally means that the majority of the public want it.

Who brings a bill before parliament then?

I was referring to your comment about another poster being ignorant about how the country works. You might want to do a bit of reading yourself.