DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

We live ik a democracy and i beleive that everyone is entilted to their vote. And i wouldnt fall out with them over it.

So did you get rid of any friends that voted Breixt then?

Because a lot of people at the time described "brexit" as racist

Wasn't there a female Tory MP who defected to Reform before the election but then defected back saying that inside the Reform party it was made up of mostly racists, homophobes and misogynists?

It doesn't sound very progressive but like they want to reform back to the 1950s.

Maybe ask your husband if that really is who he is?

I didn’t seem Brexit as racist, so no.

But go ahead and try and make me say something I never said.

If someone exposed themself as racist to me or supporting racist behaviour, we would no longer be in each other’s lives.

I'm pointing out that in my opinion, a lot of things can be looked at in different ways, so why fall out with people over them.

Some people see the benefits of the reform Party.
Some people see the reform party as extremely racist.

Man many people saw brexit as being racist.

The Brexit campaign at the time was highly focused on "there are too many immigrants coming into our country, we need to stop them and control our borders".

You didn't see it as racist at all.

It was also highly focused on how much money was being paid to the EU. And the ridiculous policies regarding surpluses amongst other things. How exactly is that racist ? And as has been said several times, not wanting mass immigration and wanting to exercise some control over our borders isn’t racist.

You mean you would sacrifice the happiness and security of your children, your parents, your husband on the alter of looking after everyone else? So you’d happily pay more taxes at the expense of your children having a holiday, good education, a nice house? I just don’t get that. I will always vote for the party who provides security and happiness for those I love.

Wouldn't even need a fuel allowance if the government had invested in sustainable energy rather than privatising the sector. Don't get me started on their political tactics to secure pension voters. Your comment is ridiculous picking up on a few policies to try and defend a party that doesn't put child poverty and animal welfare before the needs of the wealthy.

I wasn't really sure of the voting - I went YABU to still be with this man... I mean - Reform? Maybe I'm a bigot but that's an Instaracist marker for me.

So what would happen if those you loved needed to claim benefits ? Became sick or disabled ? That’s what looking after everyone else means. So that when you become ‘everyone else’ the services are there for you.

Yes of course it can be argued as being not racist. That the country wants control over its borders.

But of course it can also be argued that it IS racist.
And it was said that it was racist at the time.

All far right parties shout that there are too many immigrants and that they want the immigrants out.

And things like that were said a lot at the time of Brexit

Yes of course I would fucking vote to prevent an innocent child I don't know getting sexual abused over my child having a nice holiday.

I don’t think you read what I said properly.

I didn't mention the Reform party and I said that I wasn’t talking about voting differently to others. I specifically said if someone I loved, or my DH, said he supported the riots because of immigration, I couldn’t view him the same any more. Because to me the riots are either racist triggered or general violence and I don’t understand how anyone can support them.

But you could apply my reasoning to voting if you so wished; if you feel strongly that say, the Reform Party are racist and their values are racist (there have been party members who have come out and said they are inherently racist AND sexist) and your friend or partner voted for them and you felt like they were aligning themselves with racist or sexism, then of course you’re more than entitled to and that relationship. If you no longer view that person as being the person they were and you now feel they’re racist or sexist or support racists or sexists then that’s entirely your right.
I don’t know anyone who voted Reform, or that has told me they have, or their reasons for it, so haven’t yet been faced with this conundrum.

With regards to Brexit, I think there were racist aspects to it, but I didn’t seem Brexit in general as being triggered by racism no. And discussing Brexit with others, people had a whole range of reasons for voting to leave the EU. Should someone who voted that way have said to me ‘Oh I did it because I hate foreigners etc’ that would have been different, but if someone said they did it due to financial freedoms for example, that isn’t racism.

Which party am I defending ? Never voted Tory in my life - always voted labour and this time I voted Labour hoping for change. And whingeing about sustainable energy investment doesn’t help the millions of pensioners who are a couple of quid above the threshold and will lose out on hundreds of pounds worth of assistance. Labour have been in power a few weeks, and it didn’t take long for them to show us who they really are. They’re no more interested in the truly vulnerable than the Tories were if this is what they think is acceptable.

Then you’d change your voting when and if things happen. It’s like when your children are small your focus is on education, then as they grow into adults and you get older, your focus switches to the NHS or pensions. And you put more importance on other things. But ultimately my family and those close to me will always be my priority.

Which party supports sexually abusing children??

No wonder the country is in the state it’s in, if this is what people think. I’m all right Jack, sod you.

Everyone is entitled to their vote, yes. And I’m entitled to think less of them - even to the point of distancing myself from them - because of it.

This 👏

For everyone saying: I would be packing my bags: how ridiculous! Her husband does not agree with the riots, he says people are angry. Yes a lot of people are! And as for voting reform, just as bad as all other parties-labour robbing the elderly is also as low as a party can get.

I wouldn’t vote for policies that would condemn my children to poverty. Guess like the VAT on private schooling. I suspect most people who have children in private school didn’t choose to vote Labour. Because by accepting a cost they might not be able to afford so the government can fund something else, their children would be placed at a disadvantage. That’s how voting works. You vote for the party which is going to make your life better. Another example, people not voting Labour because they know they will increase taxes, when ultimately those taxes might go to other things to make other peoples’ lives better.

My best friend and brother voted reform! There was a facist conversation over dinner! I am needing to rethink important relationships. These are dark days!

It is about voting for the party most likely to prevent it. One that will invest in social workers, child services and prioritise reducing poverty.

No, for lots of us that’s not how it works. We vote for what’s best for the country (I guess you could argue that eventually that’s beneficial to us). So - you vote Tory because of Kabour’s VAT policy. Next week something happens and you have to pull you4 child out of private education and rely on benefits to survive. Even from a selfish point of view voting for the most vulnerable can work out better.

Whilst I agree with you and I vote for what I think is best for the future, I imagine quite a fair few people vote for what is best for them at the time and what affects them at the time and the vote accordingly. Because their view is narrowed (that’s not an insult), they’re looking at the issues that impact them most rather than a general overview.

All criminals have a reason for behaving that way. It shouldn't be used as an excuse.

Murderers are angry people. Rapists are angry people. Thieves are probably angry. Violent drunks are angry. All of these angry people probably do have reasons for being so damaged but you wouldn't say 'but they are angry' unless you think it's a justification for what they are doing.