DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

He voted reform. Enough said.

My husband and i were on opposite sides, so to speak, just ban the conversation, we had a safe word if either of us ventured into that topic.

Not on MN. It’s a measure of whether you’re a racist shithead or not, or justifies your partner leaving you.

and undecided as to what your values beliefs and principles actually are you’ll vote for those who you think is the best fit.

Unless you’re very young, all adults should have an idea of what is important to them in the world- what kind of society they want to live in.

If they don’t feel like labour or Tory fit, then they get off their arse and look into what does.

Whether they decide on the Green Party, reform or the monster raving looneys indicates who they are.

Yeah, it's absolutely their choice as to whether they are interested or not. It isn't for me to dictate what people should be interested in, though I think it's terribly damaging to our democracy when people don't bother and buy into the false rhetoric that all of the parties are the same.

All I'm saying is that I'm not likely to become close friends with someone who doesn't have any interest in politics and how our society is run because those people aren't the ones that I find particularly interesting or likeable. I imagine you might feel the same about me, and that's fine!

How would you know they are right wing {Or left wing} if they are ''secret'' voters?

That doesn't make any sense.

And then saying ''But they are ashamed of it''?

It's unlikely anyone is ashamed of how they vote, as it's private for this very reason!

Even if you remove the racist part. A vote for reform shows an utter disregard for animal welfare and the environment. That isn't an opinion, it's fact. It is not a party of ethics or morals

They’re a bit daft then, as they clearly aren’t all the same…

I agree. I can't imagine agreeing to spend my life with someone who hasn't got an idea of their core values and principles. Yes, these can change and evolve a bit over time, become a bit more nuanced etc. But the fundamentals are unlikely to change that much after a certain age. And if they do, couples may well find that they are no longer compatible.

I call it minding your own business and concentrating on your own voting decisions. I cringe when I hear people sneering and looking down their nose at Conservative or Reform voters. So hypocritical as they say demand tolerance and respect but only if it's their way. So blinkered that they cannot understand any other viewpoint. Reminds me of Brexit all over again. If people think they can try and embarrass people into voting a particular way I think it's a disaster waiting to happen.

''No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in''

Mo. Reform’s politics is clearly racist. And I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that Labour don’t intend to represent the people who voted for them. They are delivering the manifesto so far.

These are violent riots NOT legitimate protests. A six year old child was facially scarred in Northern Ireland. Anyone who sympathises with these racist bigots needs their head examined.

I mean, voting for racist shit heads tends to suggest you have, at the very least, racist shit head tendencies…

It’s not worth getting upset about, he isn’t on a wanted photo with a brick in his hand presumably 🤔😅 he’s generally a decent fella you said.
my husband is Asian, we’ve been married
for a long time and it can be a bit surprising what people really feel sometimes, from both sides. I talk to a nice fella at swimming sometimes but when he mentions ‘Asians’ it’s never in a good way, I’ve not let on yet but it’ll be a bit awkward if he bumps into with my son in the holidays 😄 a lot of the older people I talk to at swimming seem to think the same way, still go on about what a lovely little lad my son is though. The same as my husbands side will say awful things, but then it’s ‘you’re not like them though’, it’s not logical, and it’s not worth getting upset about, but I think ‘birds of a feather’ and all that.

Maybe because they're passionate about helping the most vulnerable in society so yes they have to be the voice for those that don't have one. So yes I have no issues calling people out on how they vote.

Voting a right wing party would benefit me on a personal level. That isn't a world I want for my children and for future generations.

They're not the same in that they have different ideals and focus , yes.

The parties are exactly the same as each other in these ways though:

1)They are filled with elite people who enjoy power over us.

2)There is a lot of jobs for the boys and unfairness in all of the parties.

For example : you are more likely to get a good role in a party if you went to the right school and know the right people, rather than who you actually are and what you actually stand for.

It's all backslapping and elite and who you know, more than it is democracy

Wow. I don’t think his problem is how he votes to be honest !|1

Exactly

People keep voting for people to rule over them.

And never think, is there any other ways that we could have a society, without having one leader to rule over us.

Maybe there are other ways that society could exist

Nope. Look at the Labour cabinet.

And how do you think the Labour governments’ withdrawal of the winter fuel payment from most pensioners is helping the most vulnerable ? Or their plans for welfare reform, concentrating on reducing disability benefits?

Politics affects our everyday lives & I couldn't share my life with someone who doesn't share my values

How would voting for a right wing party benefit you personally?

It’s really bizarre how some people find it unacceptable that you may decide to leave a partner for having very different politics views.

If my partner, who I married believing they were one person with one set of views that roughly aligned with mine, suddenly had views that were extremely different and what I deemed to be racist or supporting racist behaviour (and to me, supporting the riots is supporting racist behaviour because the riots have nothing to do with anything except racism and general thuggery, I’m not talking about simply voting for a different party than yourself), they would no longer be attractive to me and I wouldn’t stay.

And that’s okay.

You don’t have to stay with a partner for any reason, if you’re done with the relationship because you’re no longer attracted to them then you are free to go. Having very differing opinions on things such as racism is a perfectly acceptable reason to decide your relationship will no longer work.

I don’t get the people on here saying that’s not okay. It is okay. If your partner is not the person you fell in love with then you can go. And politics, especially when it comes to something like race, can trigger feelings of distance within a relationship - you’re no longer on the same page and it can cause you to view someone differently.

That goes for any relationship, romantic or otherwise.

Perfectly put and more succinctly than I managed!