DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

I think the whole concept of government is old fashioned.

We continually vote for men to have power over us.

It's an odd concept. We choose a small bunch of people to have power over us and rule us.

How do you make people not realise they are free?

By letting them vote for their 'leader'

I was shocked when my mother told me she'd voted Reform in the general election. I honestly don't believe she understands the full implications but the racism and xenophobia espoused by that party is pretty evident. I could not be with someone whose political beliefs enabled them to support that party. People are angry about their economic situations and it's all too easy to whip up ill-feeling towards people who can be viewed as 'other', when the real causes of hardship in this country stem from decades of economic policies, on the part of the two main parties.

But isn't the whole basis of democracy founded on everyone being able to have a choice on who they vote for?

She is allowed to vote for whoever she wants.

You don't have to agree with her.

But it's her vote. Her choice

What would the alternative be?

Besides, we dont vote for a small bunch of people to "have power over us". We vote for a bunch of people to have specific limited administrative powers to make legislation that governs what we can do. This is subject to legal challenges and isn't absolute - if a law is bad juries are allowed to ignore it for example.

The system isn't perfect. But it's evolved through trial and error for thousands of years. Some of the most important principles and protections we have now only exist because people facing far harder times than those we face now nonetheless understood the importance of liberty of conscience and democracy. That doesn't make it old fashioned.

My mum's attitude and plenty of other friends attitudes can be like this, sly little comments like calling a niqab a letterbox??? Like why would you even say that. Don't see you slating the Pope's get up.

‘My husband believes in white supremacy, shall we just agree to disagree’

Simply LTB and take your children far away from his racism

Absolutely it's her choice and she exercised it. Doesn't mean I have to want to spend time with people who support those views and as a currently single person I would not be interested in a partner who shared them.

People can vote for who they want but people can also be friends or married to who they want.

The Royal family has also evolved through trial and error for thousands of years.

They still exist today.

Many people consider them to be extemeley old fashioned

A lot of systems need to be updated.

Yes. But I couldn't be with someone who voted Reform and agreed with their questionable 'values'. Or voted Tory for that matter. I would have dumped them as soon as I knew their views.

Updated is different to "I think government as a whole is old fashioned". I mean seriously. re you just trolling? Like, all government???

OK I accept if you feel that strongly about it, that's what you want to do.

I've never fallen out with someone because of the political party they voted for.

But everyone's different I know.

Some people may feel more deeply that politics represents the person.

Whereas I feel that the person is more important than politics.

Well 4 million or so people across the country voted for the Reform Party. I bet money on it that they are not all white, 'thick' (as described so many times on this thread) scum of the earth people. The Labour Party has 4 years to convince the country that they can improve our living standards and The Conservatives have to get their act together as an effective opposition to challenge.

I don't believe someone can be a good father and vote for reform. Im quite shocked someone could live with someone of such views let alone sleep with them.

But how many people with seemingly perfect marriages on here come on to say their normally fantastic father and husband has had his head turned and left the marriage for an affair partner. It really is scarey how seemingly great men can have a personality change once theyve embarked on a relationship with another woman. So women with great relationships shouldn't be so smug. Things aren't always what they seem. Men can hide their true selves very well.

This is so spot on, if people are so upset about the country’s Christian values being lost then you have to do better with your practising of the religion! If being a practising Christian doesn’t resonate then that’s absolutely fine but you cannot complain. Tbh I notice that most practising or openly Christian people are immigrants or of non-white descent, and yes, I guess there are a lot of people who practise Islam, I’m agnostic myself and neither categories offend or bother me and I’ve not had any issues either!

Yeah sorry, I re-read your posts and its clear you don't think like that re CSA. I was a bit "triggered" by the wording - I had a weird conversation with someone (not in the UK I will add) who thought that a white child abuser shouldn't be stigmatised because "they wouldn't even bother going after him if he was not white." Untrue, and also really not the point. The same as some people implying white people rioting is OK because others were allowed to do it.
But if my ten year old tried "X was allowed to" as a defence he would get short shrift.

I don't know anyone who voted Reform. I also wouldn't want to be around someone who did...

I think I read the majority of reform voters surveyed don't support the riots.
I actually think someone could want to make the country/society better/protect what is good/fix problems the same way I do, but have a very different idea of the best way of doing that. Politics is complicated, I think accepting someone could have similar values to you but a very different political way of expressing that is really important to smooth functioning of society.
But I can't believe the likes of Farage actually want to make things better. Everything he does is in such bad faith these days. There are people who get a kick out of causing chaos, breaking things etc and I think he is one of them. I also think that's the main thing motivating the actual rioters.

My marriage certainly isn't perfect and I'm not smug. But I do have standards and I make no apology for that.

Perhaps if some people paid a little more attention to the values and morals of their romantic partners, and considered these to be a bit more important, we wouldn't see quite so many threads on here about things having gone horribly wrong.

A person is more than politics? Politics are people's core values/ethics in life. This is the most important thing to me.

Wether someone values lining their own pockets over ending child poverty (no matter what race) is far more important than say their personality.

I agree with you.

The subjet of the discussion was on grooming gangs. A PP was trying to deflect the grooming gang scandal by showing groups of white sexual predator groups.

As I said, you would need to factor in the population figures of those offenders by ethnicity to say it happens more or less among certain communities.

Sex abuse I believe is incredibly under reported by all ethnicities. But as a PP pointed out, given the family dynamics within certain ethnic groups. I'd suspect it to be under reported by a larger number from those groups.

Correct