DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

All appaling crimes and each and every person involved in them are scum.

But to start throwing about figures about who has produced more sex offending scum like them, you need to factor in population percentages. A quick google shows the 2021 census saying that British Pakistanis accounted for 2.7% of the population. Is that ethnic group guilty of only 3% of similar crimes or are they over-represented in grooming sex crimes?

If i saw a post my a man, explaining how his wife didn’t agree with him and other men were commenting ‘leave her’, I would be absolutely disgusted!! Please don’t leave your Husband over this, that is terrible advice.

I read an article recently about how it is near impossible to change people’s minds, even when presented with fact and logic. There are so many studies on it, and it’s so interesting. So discussing this issue with your husband is absolutely pointless, it’s just causing you stress.

We spend 8 million pounds every day on accommodation for asylum seekers. 56 million pounds a week
@Tryonemoretime we only do this because the Tories (arguably deliberately) mismanaged the system. Managed properly people are assessed in a timely manner then go on to contribute to the economy.

The number of excusers on here is frankly shocking. There is no reason for this violence. It’s disgusting on all levels.

I also couldn’t continue to have a life with this ‘man’.

Lots voted for reform that aren’t actually evil, just thick. Perhaps you should invite him to do an online ‘who to vote for’ quiz. Would be interesting to see if he’d have actually got reform. That’s what I did with my husband who has a habit of saying dumb shit.

Divorce him immediately. As MN always say, you will find a partner who will appreciate you for your views, for who you are and you deserve more.

So these pensioners are the “patriots peacefully protesting” the Southport murders and immigrants?? What the pensioners protesting cuts to winter fuel payments have to do with you defending the riots saying they are actually peacefully protests by pensioners?

The riots were sparked by the murders of 3 little girls at the hands of the son of immigrants..
I don't agree, I think they need to punish the peice of shit that committed the murders in the harshest possible way not blame all immigrants

You need to put your phone and vodka down.

100% agree. 👏 If you don't like my Christmas tree in my window, and my fairy lights in the garden, and my 'Merry Christmas' sign on the front door, you are free to look in the other direction.

Hilariously it is NEVER other cultures who whinge about Christmas being offensive to other cultures (in my experience.) ' Funny that.

@DotAndCarryOne2

Our local council decided not to put up a Christmas tree last year in the town because of fear of causing offence to non Christian’s (sod the Christian’s themselves, clearly their voices don’t count). They were going to do the same with the Christmas market until there was protest.

I 100% believe you. I have heard this happen many times. As you say, sod what the actual Christians think eh? But as I said, it almost certainly was NOT other cultures complaining. In my experience, they are fine with people celebrating Christmas, and some celebrate it themselves.

As you said, I wonder how people in other countries would feel if they were celebrating their faith (that is not Christianity,) and their councils and Government officials started telling them to tone it down, as their beliefs are offending the Christians! I wonder how that would go eh?!

Nope, I've covered exactly what I meant my comment.

@Highfivemum · Today 20:09

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We don’t have to agree with each other all the time. Your DH is not agreeing with the riots. He is understanding as to why some may be angry. Whether that is right or wrong. people have their reasons as to why they feel the need to protest.

However protest is one thing. Make a stance is one thing but senseless violence and rioting is another. That can never be excused. I am sure your husband does not agree with the way people are voicing their concerns. If he did then that is not acceptable but for him to understand why people may want to protest ( in a reasonable manner ) does not make him a bad person.

My closest friend has just gained UK citizenship after arriving from a war torn country a while ago. I have spoken to her about the situation and she is understanding concerned. She has said however that she can see why British people may have concerns due to immigration. So surely if she can see why some may have concerns then so can your DH.

Very good post. Very well articulated. Totally agree. 👏

😂

YES - this is so correct. Once people have made their minds up they don't tend to change it. The OP's husband is probably wondering why she can't see his point of view. But don't we all feel like that about certain things? That's what's make us human having different opinions.

OP if generally you love him just try and not talk about it but rant to your friends instead.

Oh 100% nobody complains, just like no one was offended by ‘baa baa black sheep’. We’re just told these things cause offense and everyone believes it and people get riled up.

Young man who is not a racist yet almost voted Reform and has very clear perceptions of what he sees that he thinks has been negatively affected by large scale immigration. He has a broader working experience than many his age. My point is he is one of many influenced by the ideas of Reform- who might have voted for them but would not consider himself a racist and his friends and family certainly wouldn't. He's not one if the idiots on the street but he is fed up with them as well as with what he sees happening that he does think is related to large scale migration. I suspect there are many more like him- they did vote Reform or were tempted to, are not going to riot but hate what they see happening around them. There is a job to do by the government.
I think he will leave England and go to Australia or New Zealand. We shouldn't be losing young people like him.

Out of interest, where would you suggest you’d like to send a load of British criminals and why would that be fair? Misses point of thread I know.

sounds crazy over something many would see as small but it’s not small - you’re sharing a life with and raising children with someone who voted for Nigel farage, rather you than me!

This. Just agree to disagree and move on. It's not as if he's going out rioting.

Well, nobody was able to back up the claim that people have been cancelling Christmas left, right and centre.

And nobody was able to back up the claim that pensioners peacefully protesting about the winter fuel allowance had been arrested amid the riots.

I suppose I must have a different version of Google to everyone else.

I have heard this happen many times

You've heard? So not seen. I've read it numerous times online and I'm yet to see any evidence.

When was he radicalised?? Hahahahahahaha😂

This.
We are supposed to still be living in a democracy.
It's looking less and less that way these last few years

Agree to disagree. It's part of being an adult.

Out of interest, to those of you who are saying don't break up a family, just agree to disagree, it doesn't matter if you have different political views etc... how would you feel if your spouse or partner converted to radical Islam? Didn't engage in any criminal behaviour but held views that you considered to be extreme and perhaps offensive. Would you be fine with that and just agree to disagree because "it's part of being an adult"? Or would you think that the clash of values might be too great for the relationship to continue?

Providing the partner in question abided by UK laws why should there be an issue?

You could liken it to a couple with one saying that City and other saying Utd are the better team.