DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

My inlaw’s racist, ableist and misogynistic comments are tolerated by everyone around them (except me and DH) and I couldn’t understand it.

Sure. Of course.

Although, I for one can't understand people marrying into a known racist family then complaining about said racism.

"Falling in love" or not, I'd think having potential racist inlaws would be one of the biggest red flags and deal breakers, and making sure your potential spouse's immediate family members aren't racist would be top priority of things to vet before you marry. However people would rather virtue-signal and complain after the fact.

I find that willingly marrying into a known racist family is part of enabling and/or condoning racism.

You don't think there are gangs of white people who groom and sexually exploit children?

https://www.itv.com/news/granada/2023-04-04/men-appear-charged-with-serious-child-grooming-sex-offences

https://iambirmingham.co.uk/2023/04/05/twenty-one-convicted-largest-child-sexual-abuse-investigation-conducted-west-mids-police/amp/

https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/sentencing-glasgow-child-abuse-gang-29446098.amp

https://metro.co.uk/2015/04/22/paedophile-gang-guilty-of-raping-babies-and-streaming-it-live-online-5162202/amp/

HTH

Interesting @RedDeath614 reading between the lines we probably have the exact same background down to the last detail. I am sorry for your horrible experience.
I do not believe Reform is the panacea though, and I do not think they are patriots.

*Remove this topic from future conversations and let HIM go

Which culture is "diametrically opposed to the teachings of the Qur'an"? Have you read the Quran?
Nobody has been bloody censored. Reform and their violent supporters are quite literally all anyone is talking about. Quite the opposite of censorship.

Make me sick, the lot of them. I doubt RedDeath is posting in good faith anyway.

🤣

Child abuse unfortunately is carried out by mostly men of all races, religions, levels of education and income levels.

But. Rotherham was different because of the hesitation in tackling it. Essentially the view was that racism is the absolute worst thing ever, far worse than misogyny, and that therefore if women and girls (especially working class ones) have to tolerate a bit of misogyny and abuse in order to avoid fanning the flames of racism then so be it. That’s why it gets brought up in these discussions. It isn’t ’Asian men abuse girls’ it’s more that ‘Asian men were able to go unchallenged.’

OK thats good then, let's forget what people are still saying and call it done.

Whatever your background is, you are misguided to think that Reform, the party of ill thought out dog whistle stands for you or anyone else.

The reason people get called thick when they do enough mental gymnastics to twist the idea that tolerance and inclusivity are in fact, fascist is because they are incapable of critical thinking.

Actually your post puts me in mind of this;

Why?

Yes I did, and no, I wasn’t surprised by the outcome.

*Does that make us all far right thugs?

Does that make my 80 year old mum a far right thug?*

Unless your 80 year old Mum is out throwing bricks at police, looting and setting fire to shops I'm not sure why you would think she'd be called a thug.

But lets not pretend Reform voters are not to the political right. It does always surprise me when immigrants vote for politicians who have stated they want to stop 'all unnecessary immigration'. What is necessary? Was your parents migration necessary? Would you be here under his policies? If so, why you and not others?

Not a partner but my brother who I work with. I’ve had to just stop talking to him about it as it ends up in an argument

How about:

The Berkhamsted paedophile network
The Glasgow seven
Sidney Cooke's dirty dozen
The Kidwelly sex cult
The Norwich sexual abuse ring
The North Wales child abuse scandal
The Wonderland Club
boylover.net
Nathan Blake's 'the annex'
The Anglican Communion sexual abuse cases
The West Midlands sex abuse ring

I’ve thought about this a lot this afternoon. During the riots and looting in London after Marc Duggan was shot by the police, there were lots of threads on here about that. I posted my sympathy for them, an understanding that these were communities that felt targeted by police, disenfranchised, lack of opportunities etc, and that they have nothing to lose by being arrested and charged. I was absolutely piled on by posters who called the rioters criminals/thugs/gangsters. I wasn’t in any way saying I thought setting shops and cars alight, or chucking bricks at police was okay, but I could see how things had got that way.

I suppose I wonder if the OP’s husband is saying ‘Some people feel like no-one is listening to them, and that they have nothing to lose.’ Which isn’t excusing their abhorrent behaviour and racism, but it is one cause.

There is absolutely NO excuse for the violent thuggery we're seeing in the demonstrations in our cities. It's truly disgusting that people of colour are afraid to go out of their homes. I have lots of friends from many different countries. They're not associates. They're friends. And I'd die in a ditch for each one of them before I'd let one of those thugs near them.
However, some of us feel that no political party is dealing with the fact that there has to be an upper limit on the number of people who can settle here. We don't have the funds or the infrastructure to allow in such numbers.
We spend 8 million pounds every day on accommodation for asylum seekers. 56 million pounds a week. We need this money.

1. Our schools are in a terrible state. In my grandson's year 1, 2 children had English as their first language. This has a huge knock on effect on their education. Not all asylum seekers are teachers or TAs.
2. Our hospitals can't deal with the number of patients needing beds. Reading about it is one thing - but when the NHS refuses to sort out your husband's painful hernia unless it's a medical emergency because they don't have room, it hits close to home. Not all asylum seekers are medics.
3. In 2023 there were 67,000 applications from asylum seekers. Where are they going to live? Not all asylum seekers are builders - but they all need homes. I live near a small town with a population of nearly 20,000. Every year we'd need to build 3 little towns like ours just to house people arriving here. Rents have rocketed. House prices have rocketed. It's supply and demand - easy to say until your 30 year old with a decent job can't afford to leave home.

It's rather sad that every person who wants to come here, can't come here, but there has to be a cap on numbers. And it really isn't racist or far right to point that out. There's no way I'd protest on the streets about this, but I'm a realist and politically homeless. The Conservatives didn't deal with it and it looks like Labour is going to be equally useless. Perhaps this is why so many have voted Reform....A terrible situation.

You get bank holidays off for Christmas you don’t have to take your annual leave off over Xmas if you don’t want to. Take that up with your employer if you would rather work them. No one is making you go to church or celebrate Jesus you just get some paid days off what a disaster!! October -Jan is not 4 months either!

You are quite correct 20 years ago the politicians didn't or wouldn't listen to the working class. What was the result of that? A rise in those saying uncontrolled migration is not acceptable and then brexit.

Lets look at this statement from you.
FWIW, 20 years ago we had a booming economy, and record levels of employment,
What was a major event that happened in those intervening years!? Eastern European Countries joined the EU and gained free movement! The Poles for the most part had an economy relatively close to other member states. Romania never has and likely never will. This made Romanian labour cheap as chips for our wealthy ruling classes and held back wages and imo growth for the indigenous population.

Great post.

But the difference is, ultimately the 'duggan rioters' were complaining about systems of oppression. The police being part of that oppression in that black people are mistreated by police.

These rioters aren't complaining about institutional systems of oppression, i.e., big business, policing, government policy, they're going down residential streets, smashing peoples front doors and windows, imitating gorilla noises, making racist chants and attempting to burn people alive because of their skin colour and where they come from.

Aside from this point I agree with your post and understand to an extent the issues and gross unfairness these people feel after decades of neo-capitalist economics and deprivation. It is a very bad thing that large parts of the host population is left to suffer. It's like asking someone who only has one slice of bread to eat in a day to share it with you. You'd hardly be hospital in that position. That is never a recipe for success in any country.

You'll certainly have a link to that story that you can share with us, then.

**hospitable!

Or perhaps you can tell me what I'm not typing correctly into Google. 🤷‍♂️

Thank you for articulating this so well. I agree.

I lived in Tower Hamlets. You are trying to say there aren’t Christmas and Christmas displays there? 😄