DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

I don’t disagree with you actually and I personally have not been affected by immigration at all HOWEVER I can try and understand why people think they have been affected by immigration. Many many people in this country are struggling to feed their kids, struggling to pay for very basic homes on full time salaries, can’t afford child care costs, that is if they can find work, cant get school places, GPs appointments, waiting in pain for over a year on hospital appointments. Life in this country IS difficult for a many number of people and when the right wing media is throwing headlines in your face about immigrants getting free homes, jobs, school places etc they become an easy target for people’s anger, of course they are not responsible the government is but they are made the villains and it causes anger.

I agree.

I couldn’t have a relationship with with someone who voted reform - their values , ethics, respect, tolerance etc are all qualities that I look for in people & too far away from mine ( also lib -dem voter)

Anyone who sympathises with these racists thugs are not worth the sh!t on my shoes !

A lot of Christians that I know think that Christmas is celebrated completely over the top these days,

That's consumerism that is over the top, not the faith. And Xmas tree has nothing to do with Jesus really.
However, banning local traditions because of newcomers is a really shitty thing to do.

I bet a lot of women on MN are with men who voted Reform, AND who get why these riots are happening! Lots of people voted Reform. Millions and millions. There's a fair chance that some are on here, and some posters on here are married to Reform voters.

As if every single one is going to leave their partner for 'understanding why people are angry,' as some posters have suggested. 🙄

I don't condone the riots by the way and think that many of the people involved in them are idiots, but nearly 45% of 900 voters (so far,) think YABU @Pinkycloud That's quite a lot.

Why do you think that is.....?

You do know it’s a Christian country don’t you? If you don’t like seeing it, that comes under the heading of ‘tough’ and ‘get over it’. Although Xmas trees are not connected to the biblical meaning of Christmas, it#xa tradition we’ve had in this country for years. I get the same feeling when I see large mosques being built. They’re ugly, attract masses of inconsiderate parking every Friday, and blast music out of tannoys. And my feeling is justified, because we’re not a Muslim country.

I couldn't be married to someone who thought the Reform party and Nigel Farage was the answer to anything in this country. Racist right wingers.

Exactly. I find @Abigail47 's comment very rude and offensive. I don't know a single Christian who thinks Christmas is over the top, and we 'need to consider other religions.' Give over @Abigail47 !

I know a number of people of other faiths - including Sikhs and Muslims, and they love Christmas! Quit trying to create discord where there is none! We've got enough of that going on!

How do you know you aren't married to one?

What if you find out he is? Are you going to divorce him and leave him?

Bet you won't.

Ah yes. A Christian country. I wonder what religion Britons used to have before those pesky Romans invaded....

Our local council decided not to put up a Christmas tree last year in the town because of fear of causing offence to non Christian’s (sod the Christian’s themselves, clearly their voices don’t count).

Can you provide a link to a media report of this? Because I imagine the Mail or GB News would have been all over it.

If you knew my husband, you'd know that not a million years would he vote for anyone on that side. He loathes them.

And who made you the lord and master of morality?!

Not everyone is Muslim, but that doesn’t stop the call to prayer from the mosques. What you’re saying is that we’re not free to follow our own Christian traditions in our own country for fear of causing offence to non Christians ? While non Christians have no problem with potentially causing offence with public displays of their own faiths ? This is a perfect example of why people feel not listened to. The last time I looked Britain was a Christian country and Christmas has been celebrated here for centuries. Live and let live, and tolerance of others’ religions has to be a matter of give and take. Which is not what you’re advocating here.

I'd like to think couples talk to each other about issues they feel strongly about.

Maybe they don't judging by this thread.

@Boomer55

I don’t know. Back in the day, I knew people that attended the poll tax riots, and in 2012, I knew people that rioted because of the Mark Duggan shooting.

The riots planned for later tonight, and those that took place over the last few days, are specifically and knowingly targeting civilians.

Not police, not 'the man', but civilians. In their homes and in their business premises.

A carer's car has been set on fire by rioters. The grandmother of an immigration lawyer has had to be taken away from her home as it was put on the list of addresses to be targeted by rioters. People of colour in my friend's town have been pulled from their cars and had racial slurs screamed at them. My friend and her family are not leaving the house for the foreseeable and have been given permission by their employers to work from home.

And you 'don't know' if you would end a friendship with someone who attended one of these riots.

At least you're honest I suppose.

But make no mistake, burning people's cars, attacking their homes, pulling them out of their vehicles, screaming racial slurs at them and intimidating them to stay inside does not simply equal 'an opinion'. The rioters are actively terrorising people.

No. That would be outing. And the media were all over it - there were several reports at the time. They may still be online.

I’d divorce my DH if I found out he was a racist. I wouldn’t be attracted to a racist so I wouldn’t want to stay married.

I’m surprised that people on here wouldn’t. A racist is not a ‘good father’ or an otherwise decent person. They’re a racist.

But we’re not asking about before the Romans. We’re talking about the here and now. Millions of people love the tradition of Xmas. That’s just whataboutory. I guess the same as those that celebrate Eid. Can you imagine someone demanding that Eid celebrations be toned down? If we were a Muslim country, Eid rightly so would be the main celebration. But we’re not a Muslim country, so Xmas is the main yearly celebration here. If people don’t like that, then I’m afraid it’s their problem to overcome somehow.

Yes, they are but very different when you are living with someone with opposing views.

But if I were to find it online, I could reply with "Oh, yeah, found it, it was in XYZ town", and then you would be outed, would you not?

I put "council decides not to put up a Christmas tree to avoid offending" into Google, without the quotes so it will find anything vaguely relevant, and all it finds is reports of fake stories about "Christmas is cancelled".

So for the moment I hope you will forgive me for taking the story with a massive pile of salt.

Oh I'm just making a point that over time, things change. I bet many non-Christians (im thinking Atheists, agnostics etc) celebrate Christmas. Maybe not the actual Christ part, but certainly the festivities.

The opinion of reform voters or reform voters sympathisers mean less than nothing to me - cheerio!

And what exactly has been covered up here? The judge named the attacker despite being 17. The riots have nothing to do with those poor children and it sickens me that their deaths are being used to justify violence. It is just disgusting

Depressingly, I think they are. Advocating that we celebrate Christmas - a Christian celebration - quietly and privately for fear of causing offence to other who are not of the same faith. In a Christian country. Makes me wonder what would happen if this poster was in a non Christian country and advocated the same in reverse. Their feet wouldn’t touch. We have Diwali celebrations where I am and everyone joins in enthusiastically. It’s wonderful and everyone is welcomed. Some people are just miserable I guess.