To not want to get into a swimsuit on a 4th date

[Sundaycoffee]

4th date with a guy I met online and he's suggested a date at the spa (he's a member and gets guest passes) where they have an outdoor pool. Not sure how comfortable I feel parading around in a swimming costume in front of him yet. We have only kissed so far, so he's only seen my body fully clothed. I'm a size 12 and have a few insecurities about my pear shaped body! AIBU?

Obviously if you are a sporty person and regularly swim, this date is appealing. Likewise if you are body confident and know you can hold your own in a gym/spa place where there are mostly fit people.

I am extremely unsporty and the world’s palest person with pudgy legs. (On an Italian beach once I was subjected to laughing and pointing because of my (lack of) colour.) Hence I would not feel at all comfortable in this scenario.

Those saying you’re presumably going to get your kit off soon anyway: it’s not the same at all . In that case there would be (possibly) nice clothes, dim lights, some music and - highly likely - some quantity of wine! That is very different from teetering along the side of a pool with goose-pimply white cellulite wobbling away.

Unfortunately, I can corroborate this. Seen quite a few social media posts about it, with women in comments confirming they have experienced it and dispicably lots of men saying its a good idea. Sad times.

Not saying you’re wrong, but having seen some posts on social media is not “corroboration”.