To no longer respond to hints

[marshlellow]

"I've got some washing to do"
"Are you making a cup of tea?"

AIBU to stop picking up any of my husbands "hints" and wait for him to ask me directly?

It's really annoying. Why is he like this?

I just remembered when my twins were babies, and DD1 was two years old, DH didn’t get why I found it all rather overhwhelming and maybe less than fulfilling every moment of every day. I went out for the day (a very rare and exciting hospital appointment). DH sent me a text message detailing every domestic task he achieved when the babies were asleep, obviously expecting me to collect his medal on the way home. ie, “I just did a load of laundry.”, “When you get home, you’ll find the kitchen floor’s been swept.” Obviously made me clench my bum cheeks increasingly tighter by the end of the day. I decided to return the favour when he was at work. He had no idea… Every microscopic, NORMAL daily task of life was reported, from changing the bog roll, to wiping out the bin, to taking the nappy bin bag to the wheelie bin, to measuring up the formula for the evening bottles, etc, worming the dog, etc.
He realised that he may have come across as perhaps a tad patronising.

He put the washing on today. It's.still. In.the.machine

😂

Next time he asks, look slowly calmly straight at him and gently raise your eyebrows. Bonus points if you do it whilst looking over the top of your spectacles.

Yes to have we got mum a birthday card/present?
I always say I don't know. Have you? And point out I don't expect him to sort my mum's birthday card.
Also get the where did you put my wallet/phone/keys . Why the hell would I want them?
He says are you going to make a cup of tea? No you know where the kettle is. Are you going to do some washing? Again you know where the washing machine is. I wouldn't mind too much if he asked directly but are you going to is really annoying.

My dh used to say, 'If you want, we can go to the tip on Saturday.'
Meaning 'will you take me to the tip on Saturday' (he doesn't drive). Eventually I persuaded him to ask properly, as it's him that wants to do it, rather than framing it as some big treat for me!
Had a good giggle the other day tho when DS said to him 'Daddy. Would you like to do me some fishfingers and chips" presented as a big treat that Daddy would enjoy (a bit like saying brightly to a toddler 'would you like to go to the park"?)

DH has a tendency to text things like "Do we need milk / tomatoes <insert random food item>?" when he's on his way home from work, which is a fair enough question if I happen to be standing beside the fridge when he asks, because I can open it and have a look. He can then collect said item on the way.

One day, he texted "Do we need cat food?". I was at work 12 miles away, and he was at home...

But this is literally contracting out the lowest value work to you.

How are you not incandescent with rage that he sees your role as merely looking after stuff, including the cat? I find it completely grim and am so happy I’m single now. Fact they often try to get you to resolve this incredibly difficult, torturous stuff when you’re either at work or socializing is so telling. Just turn your phone off, happier people all round ;)

My mum used to do this. 'Would you like to hang the washing out?' Well no actually I wouldn't

With all due respect, I think you are missing the point.

If he texts me to ask whether we need any supplies and I'm at home and he is coming home from work via the supermarket, all well and good. He often does the shopping. More often than I do, come to think of it.

I mentioned the cat food one because I though it was funny. You obviously didn't think so. Sorry about that.

Oh god yes I'm always the middle man?

Is dad busy Saturday?
Is dd working tomorrow ?
What does dad want for his birthday?

I now just say I don't know you'd better ask yourself