To think we are stuck with hideous neighbour.

[Neighboursfromhell]

We love in a purpose built flat, one neighbour above and then a substantial shared garden. Upstairs property is owned by a very wealthy Dutch man, turns out he bought the property to put his grown daughter in.

His daughter has significant mental health issues, we have 2-3 nights a week where she howls like a labouring cow all night, or she repeatedly slams the bedroom door over and over and over again. She will scream duck you you ducking cunts at us and she has a partner of about 18 months with whom there are domestics at least 2-3 times a week. Violent domestics. Police are here at least once a month. She grabs what sounds like hammers and whacks the floor screaming at us she can't do what she wants you fucking c.

Police won't do anything because the violence is tit for tat and if they want to attack each other they can.

Council won't do anything due to the violence and therefore it is a police matter. The domestic violence is only one element of the god awful behaviour.

We can't afford the tens of thousands to lodge our own court action.

We can't sell as it's an expensive (inherited) flat and no one is going to spend that much on a crazy, dangerous neighbour.

The property isn't rented, it's owned outright. The owner is technically breaching the lease by not acting on her behaviour but again, we can't afford to legally pursue it.

Aibu to think there's fuck all we can do?

Aibu to ask how long reasonably her mental health can give her allowances? She can 100% control herself when she wants to.

You inherited the flat.

He owns the flat above and allows his daughter to live there.

What on earth do you want to do? Force someone out of their home? Your language about an unwell person is shocking.

Sell as best you can and move.

We can't sell as it's an expensive (inherited) flat and no one is going to spend that much on a crazy, dangerous neighbour.

But prospective buyers of your flat won’t know about the crazy upstairs neighbour unless you tell them ..? (Unless she’s at it when they view of course)

His daughter has significant mental health needs and your use of language regarding her needs is disgusting. You are very much in your right to complain about the noise and disturbance. But be careful with your choice of words.

I work in MH and it's not true that you can't do anything. Mental health issues don't absolve someone of all responsibility. Speak to the police about her banging on the floor and swearing at you. They will likely need to get in touch with an adult safeguarding team who will assess her capacity. Professionals will be understanding of her needs whilst understanding your frustrations too, it's not like you will be completely ignored. If it really is as frequent and as loud as you say then there's really no way the police can fob you off.

Have you posted about this before? I’m sure I read something similar a while ago.

She sounds vulnerable and distressed. If she's howling all night, I'd be very concerned for her well-being. Maybe adult social services needs to check if she is actually okay living there on her own (when the partner isn't there)?

Do you have contact for her father? Is he approachable and does he seem like the kind of caring father you could approach, who is maybe not aware of his DD's issues?

Your description makes me more concerned for her welfare than your annoyance. I'm not saying it's not annoying, but if her welfare is addressed, then maybe the annoyance will take care of itself.

What on earth do you want to do? Force someone out of their home? Your language about an unwell person is shocking.

This is ridiculous @hoarahloux .

so anyone can behave however they want, however antisocial, and we would all have to put up with it because “they are unwell”?!

Would you be so tolerant if she lived above you? really?

No I'd be just as frustrated! But her father owns the flat, the OP has inherited their flat. Neither are more or less entitled to ownership than the other.

But I don’t think that’s the OP’s point? They’re not saying they’re more entitled to own the flat than the other resident

They’re saying they can’t stand the noise from the neighbour, and the abuse they get.

Does it matter about the ownership structure or inheritance history?

If they both had mortgages out, would your response be different?

can only people with mortgages have the right to challenge another’s behaviour?

Homeowner vs homeowner disputes are by far the hardest to mediate as there are no other involved agencies. That's why getting the police or local authorities involved is crucial.
That or sell at auction.

It doesn't matter that we inherited and he placed her there other than the fact that a) we've tried talking to him before and it'd fairly clear he's dumped her there to keep her out of the way and has no concern for her at all

B) it makes a difference in terms of options available as technically she isn't a tenant, nor is she the home owner.

C) we have absolutely sympathy to her not being well but 1. She has been offered support time and time again and tells them all to fuck off 2. She can control it when someone like the police or ambulance are there 3. She lives in a flat, if she isn't able to live there without causing significant harm to the neighbours then it isn't appropriate accommodation for her. Her mental illness isn't an excuse to cause massive issues for several other people and when it has been escalating for 2 years, patience and empathy is running thin.

Based on what we gathered from her father, we are certain she was just placed there to keep her out of his way because of illness. He should have never of put her in an upstairs flat. You can buy detached houses for the same amount he paid in the same area, it's just that specific road which is worth more.

It's also at the stage where we are being threatened, screamed at that we are counts and she's standing in front of my window glaring in through it for 20 minutes plus. It's starting to make me genuinely fearful of what she's capable of, especially as we've seen the injuries to her partner and what she does to the property.

Record her staring at you and tell the police. Record the threats, go through the council

Rent your place out if it's dead fancy and rent somewhere else 🤷‍♀️

I find it very unlikely that the father has just bought her a place to conveniently put her out of the way. There are other places you can 'put' a person with a disability or medical condition that are cheaper than buying a house, maybe even state funded. I find it unlikely someone will go to the expense of an individual property to just get someone out of the way.

If I had invested in a property for a vulnerable relative, to help them, I'd be very concerned if things weren't going well for them and I'd want to know, so they can be helped.

Maybe keep a log of everything for a week and talk to council or adult safe guarding?

Yeah can you image how often you’d have the tenants /letting agency on the phone?

Deepest sympathy OP. I remember years ago how stressful it was living next door to a weekend party animal never mind what you’re putting up with.

Keep a diary of the disturbances and threats, record as much as possible, make a formal complaint to the police. Harassment is a criminal offence and mental health issues are not a get out of jail free card.

They do have the additional motivation that eventually he wants ours. We are of the understanding that his view is he tried everything with her, she was privately educated at boarding school and he's thrown money at her for therapy etc so this was his solution. She gets put in a flat which is far enough away from him that doesn't cause him an issue. We let him know one morning that we were fairly sure she'd broken her elbow, no response and he didn't come see if she was OK. He's visited maybe twice in 3 years and she never leaves the house, there isn't a relationship there, it just seems more an act of obligation.

they are each entitled to peace and quiet, which is the point.

If upstairs was renting, it would be possible to have a discussion with the landlord to resolve this. It's harder with the flat owner.

What is the "language" OP used about "an unwell person" that is so shocking?

The OP mentioned the ownership/inheritance of the flat. Not sure what difference the flat being an 'expensive inherited' one has re the issue if the mentally ill neighbour. As pp stated the OP can still sell up and move.

That doesn't sound very invested if that's how much he's visiting. Does she have carers who visit? If not, it sounds like she needs it.

If the end goal is to acquire your inherited property, can you offer to sell it to him? That depends how much you actually want to stay there, of course.

@ChildlessCatLadiesRuleOK indeed. Even in units for people with very significant mental health conditions, if someone was racially abusive, sexually or physically abusive, it was reported to the police every single time and their capacity was assessed. They would be charged if found to have capacity.
If she is living independently without support then it could be unlikely that she will be assessed as lacking capacity to harass and threaten you. Therefore she should be treated by the police as anyone else would be. Even if she didn't, for example if her treatment of you arose from a delusional belief, then the police still need to be aware of this. They might know something you don't, and so this could be vital information to provide.
The rest of the stuff about whether she is the home owner is really not relevant, it's unlikely her dad will evict her is it?

Have you tried selling?

Op if the father wants your inherited flat then why don't you just sell it to him and move elsewhere?