To think we are stuck with hideous neighbour.

[Neighboursfromhell]

We love in a purpose built flat, one neighbour above and then a substantial shared garden. Upstairs property is owned by a very wealthy Dutch man, turns out he bought the property to put his grown daughter in.

His daughter has significant mental health issues, we have 2-3 nights a week where she howls like a labouring cow all night, or she repeatedly slams the bedroom door over and over and over again. She will scream duck you you ducking cunts at us and she has a partner of about 18 months with whom there are domestics at least 2-3 times a week. Violent domestics. Police are here at least once a month. She grabs what sounds like hammers and whacks the floor screaming at us she can't do what she wants you fucking c.

Police won't do anything because the violence is tit for tat and if they want to attack each other they can.

Council won't do anything due to the violence and therefore it is a police matter. The domestic violence is only one element of the god awful behaviour.

We can't afford the tens of thousands to lodge our own court action.

We can't sell as it's an expensive (inherited) flat and no one is going to spend that much on a crazy, dangerous neighbour.

The property isn't rented, it's owned outright. The owner is technically breaching the lease by not acting on her behaviour but again, we can't afford to legally pursue it.

Aibu to think there's fuck all we can do?

Aibu to ask how long reasonably her mental health can give her allowances? She can 100% control herself when she wants to.

Might not want it right now. Might want to pay a derisory amount etc

If she's threatening you you can apply for a non-molestation order online, you don't need a solicitor

I am sorry to hear this op. Be very very careful re police. It is easier to charge you with a hate crime than help your neighbour. I'd stop reporting, cut your losses and leave. Your life is made of time, not money. You cannot waste your life miserable.

One is obliged to report neighbour complaints on a seller form. If OP has made a direct complaint, she'd be obliged to reveal this on the seller form.

@Neighboursfromhell "
B) it makes a difference in terms of options available as technically she isn't a tenant, nor is she the home owner."

It makes no difference. So, in this case it looks like daddy is the leaseholder. If he installs a tenant (or loved one) who causes a nuisance, daddy is liable.

In every lease for a flat I've ever seen, there is a clause about not causing a nuisance. Do you have a separate freeholder for the building?

Keep a careful record of this behaviour and report threats to the police (even if they take no notice). The criminal offence of harassment includes alarming a person or causing them distress, but it has to happen at least twice, to comprise an offence.

Not sure why you're getting such a hard time OP, your mental health will no doubt suffer soon living with such a terrible neighbour. No one would be ok with this situation. I would continue to pursue all avenues, you have a right to a peaceful home. Don't give up

First poster replying put the boot in. Others felt emboldened to follow that lead.

I'm now waiting for some genius to suggest OP "gifts" her flat to the "unwell" neighbour...

It's brutal, @Neighboursfromhell - my friend lived in a lovely housing association garden flat and had a very similar issue with a rich daddy buying an upper flat {1870's house} for a mentally unwell adult daughter.

It was really unpleasant for her to live with that - bulimic {I can't begin to describe the grotesque blocked drains}
I never saw the woman but she affectedly friend badly due to the drains {which flooded by friend's front door/courtyard} and noise that she made.

Flats are hellish if one has bad neighbours, especially above you.

I don 't know what to suggest- But she could live there for decades yet.

I'd maybe sell up, as it would be very difficult to live with someone so antisocial.

Detached houses are bliss.

{I don't live Iive in one!}

She is effectively stalking and harassing you when looking through your window and threatening you.
keep a diary maybe a cctv camera and every time she directly harasses you report to the police for that and or stalking. There’s tougher laws on that aspect. She will be warned and if she does it again and again then should be arrested for it. Maybe then daddy will give a damn and or she eventually gets a prison sentence.

I'm in the US and here you could sue her father for interference with peaceful enjoyment of your property. If she can't or won't be a reasonable neighbor she needs to control herself or be moved.

Here in the US you could get an enterprising attorney for a filing fee.

You need to first collect all your evidence then decide which options to pursue.

If I were you I’d be logging and recording the details of every incident for eg two weeks, then taking everything to the police. I guess question is whether there is anything criminal or capacity related that you can pursue. The fact they’ve had so many calls already will be logged. If you can, try not to let her see you’re recording everything, but essentially you want enough evidence to make it impossible for anyone to ignore.

This is quite useful:

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/housing-options/home-safety/neighbour-disputes/

Oh My -some people on here are SOO JUDGEMENTAL! If they are soo concerned about Yr use of 'offensive language' when this person is putting you thro hell-may be they should hv her as THIER NIEGHBOUR! & sèe how they feel,then! SOO EASY to judge YOU from thier cosy non nightmare situation homes! When you hv a nighbour like that you get frazzled & worn down .My heart goes out to you. I worked at a support charity for victims of crime and had many clients who had antisocial nightmare nieghbours & had one myself upstairs- its like TORTURE! and it's not uncommon for a family to buy somewhere to wash thier hands of a problem relative. It maybe worth contacting citizens advice. They will,tell u to record everything u can both audio & writing dates and times of events. Its laborious- but just coz someone has mental health problems doesn't mean they hv a right to harass & threaten you. It's harder because it's a privately owned property she doesn't rent so can't evicted. But if you have recordings etc the police should take it seriously. I wish you luck with it. Its a really horrible situation be in. Many folk with severe mental health issues can manipulative and behave calmly when authorities come round. She no doubt has a personality disorder, in which case the therapy doesn't work- as well as other issues., the problem is mental health services will not get involved unless she requests it / help for herself or is deemed a serious physical threat to herself or others, and even then they can only commit a person for a short period of time. & it certainly used to be the case that if you sell a,property with a troublesom neighbour you had to tell the perspective buyer by law. So you are in a really hard situation, I send you good wishes empathy and hope something happens to resolve the situation all round. It speaks volume the father doesn't want to talk to you about it & doesn't visit. But the police should take harassment and threats seriously if you have enough proof. But even then folk with that kind of severe mental health issues don't tend to change. The only other thing I can think of is she may have been precribed medication which helps,her but she is not taking. That's v common.

Also this:

asbhelp.co.uk

I think your only option at the moment is to get a builder round and discuss the cost of sound proofing your flat. Get different quotes.
It would be worth taking out a mortgage or loan to do it as you can't sell it with this shenanigans as it is.
Other posters telling you you should feel sorry for this woman beggars belief. It would drive me to drink. She has relatives and you are not responsible for her or trained to deal with this.

I don’t understand why you can’t sell?

Doesn’t apply to a direct complaint to the neighbour. It only needs to be disclosed if the complaint has been escalated to the local authority.

I don’t know why some people are so critical of you finding it extremely hard to live beneath her. It sounds like a nightmare.
Also some of the behaviours you describe, plus the fact that her father has possibly given up on her, make me wonder how much is truly mental health and how much has a behavioural element. Something like borderline personality disorder can absolutely be improved IF the person is willing to engage with treatment services.
I wish you all the best. It sounds truly crappy.

Vulnerable and distressed? Oh that’s ok then. 😆

Fucking hell, she sounds unhinged! If she’s as bad as OP alleges she should be in hospital. If not, she should be dealt with by the police. Mental health issues don’t mean you can do what you want.

I don’t understand why people think she should have to. MH problems don’t absolve you of your responsibilities. If her father owns the flat then his daughter is effectively his tenant. I doubt he can just dump her there and ignore the effect on OP. I’d start with legal advice as to where his responsibility lies in this and whether other authorities such as social services need to be involved because it sounds as though she’s a danger to herself and others. I would also tell the solicitor that her father wants OP’s flat, because that puts a whole different spin on things. It could be viewed as deliberate harassment.

Are you in England? Can you explain why the flat being inherited and expensive means you can't move?

It could be a clause in the will to prevent them selling for a certain amount of time, lt could be that OP knows if she sells she may not get the full market value right now. But neither is relevant to the issue. She shouldn’t be forced to move. And btw, so many people overlooking the fact that if she doesn’t disclose to a buyer something relevant to the property (in this case the disruptive neighbour upstairs) and the buyer is affected by the same issue when they move in, (which they will be) they can sue OP for non disclosure.

This is rubbish.
Keep reporting the issues and follow up with your local neighbourhood team, preferably with sound and video recordings of what she does and says to you and the noise in her flat. The noise complaint they won’t be able to do much with (but it paints a picture), the verbal abuse of you they can do something with, especially if it is continued and ongoing.
If you are in touch with the homeowner and would prefer to go to him before making a police complaint then speak to him and make your position clear.
She is not allowed to harass you because she has mental health issues.